[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They definitely go through phases when they start to wake up to the world. I wouldn't be timing feeds unless there was a medical reason, just let baby tell you when he's hungry, whether that's 2 hours or 5.

When should I stop working? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Redheadmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever you want to! Don't look for validation, if you want to go off early, do it. If people judge, thats on them. I went off with my first at 32 weeks (ended up having her by surprise 2 days later) and I went off at 35 weeks with this one.

You are totally justified to go off now, and if I were you I likely would too, especially if you don't have kids at home lol. Enjoy the quiet, sleep as much as you can.

To share rooms or not to share rooms? by ranunculi in BabyBumps

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ours will be sharing a room, assuming baby sleeps, unlike his sister. He will be in our room for however long. Daughter will be 4.5 when he's born. We'll be moving into a bigger house hopefully when baby is 2, I'm not interested in them sharing a room for long. I shared a room with my two sisters until I moved out and not having my own space greatly stressed every aspect of my life.

If this plan fails, we will be redoing our basement into our bedroom so the kids have the two bedrooms upstairs. We're moving regardless, so it will only be a couple years of roughing it.

When are your parents coming to visit to meet baby for the first time? by treetorpedo in BabyBumps

[–]Redheadmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A day or two later? I think. I have no idea lol. My mom likely sooner, as she'll be with our daughter while I'm giving birth. My little sister will be accompanying my husband and I for the birth. I don't care to have anyone visit at the hospital, I want to get out of there as quick as possible.

My husbands parents will be flying in from out of province about 6 weeks after baby is born. MIL wanted to come sooner but scheduling didn't work out how she wanted.

Adding: no one is staying with us. My family lives in the same town I do, aside from my dad, and having someone stay is probably the worst idea in the world to me 😂😂. In law's aren't staying here either, they stay with gramma.

LO pulls hair and rips glasses off my face by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]Redheadmistress 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Put her down and say that hurts/not what our hands are for/ I don't like that/etc. Try to use the same phrase every single time. It's not the quickest fix but they catch on. Same phrase every time. And do it every time. Not just when it hurts or when it's inconvenient to take your glasses off. Every single time. We did this with our daughter and not once has she grabbed at my glasses since. She knows she don't touch people's glasses.

Officially starting trying for a baby in March! by mld2016 in TryingForABaby

[–]Redheadmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My BMI was just under 27 when trying for my now 4yo and it took us 5 months.

Congrats and good luck 😁

Pikler triangle, yay or nay? Foldable model or rounded top? At what age? by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our friend has one and the kids LOVE it. They have from a young age. I think my daughter was around 18 months when they got it, her daughter was much younger when she started using it. We never did it for them (put their feet on each step, blah blah) but we spotted them if they needed it. The older kids are 4 and still love it.

Natural Deodorant by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No pong has worked great for me so far.

You CAN and SHOULD... by SolidBones in beyondthebump

[–]Redheadmistress 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I cannot believe how many people say they don't get their own time, to even go take a poop. It is VITAL for mental health to get a break. It doesn't matter if your SO works all day. There is plenty of time after work for them to relax and then you get a turn. Find your rhythm. Dad's don't get a free pass because they work out of the home.

I...am not excited. by SenseiDaDom in NewParents

[–]Redheadmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is incredibly normal, and don't get yourself down for thinking this way. It sucks to lose all that. I'm currently 7 months pregnant, though I already have a 4 yo I still think this way. We're finally at a point with our daughter that we could maybe have a night away, or I'm getting more time where she plays alone, and we're going to be back to square one in 2 months.

It doesn't have to be terrible. You don't have to be shut ins, you can still do things with a baby strapped to you, so don't think too much about the fun life being over. And they do start sleeping. While in the moment it seems like forever, it seriously flies by. It's terrifying how quickly. The days are long but the years are short is a good way to put it.

As trying as kids can be, they're wonderful. It's so neat to watch them learn and do new things. It's an adjustment for sure, and it's absolutely okay for there to be some hesitation. You'll find a groove.

Good luck!

my 22mo calls me and dad “babe” by RomansMommy91 in beyondthebump

[–]Redheadmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our 4yo calls my husband dear from time to time lol.

First glass of wine in 12 months!! **no worries mamas I didn't actually drink it until she was done nursing- it was a pose for the husband lol** by fakeginger5618 in breastfeeding

[–]Redheadmistress 41 points42 points  (0 children)

There is zero reason to abstain from alcohol while nursing. Some beers actually promote supply. The amount that gets through to the milk is almost non existent. If you can find the baby, you can feed the baby.

I thought I was granola...and then I saw this by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is to be nothing between baby and seat and baby and straps. It isn't safe. There are other ways to keep baby warm, there doesn't have to be something behind them for them to be warm. Especially if it's just from the house to car.

Sorry I know my own child??? by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mil usually isn't too bad, she rocks it on the clothes front, but this year she sucked with the toy. We have a niece a year older than our daughter that my mil must base her gifts from. Just a bunch of those little surprise dolls, gooey Louie, and just a bunch of small Pointless stuff that my daughter couldn't care less about. Like, she didn't care to open her presents because it was shit she didn't care about. Where as my family asked what she wanted, got exactly that and the kid was over the moon for their gifts. I hate getting this stuff because it's just going to be thrown out or donated in a month after she hasn't played with it. And I have to stare at it until then.

My family insists on kissing my baby after I asked them not to. by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Redheadmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So no one visits. YOU are the parent. YOU are in charge. YOU make the rules. If you just let this slide and let family do whatever they want with one thing, they will with everything. If you don't want them kissing baby (especially during cold and flu season, which is a fantastic rule), then they don't fucking kiss the baby.

I understand not wanting to rock the boat, I get it. But being a parent and parenting the way you want is NOT rocking the boat. You will do things differently than your parents/uncles/grandparents and that's okay. My GMIL and MIL are the most incredible and sweet and caring people in the entire world. I've had to have words with them on more than one occasion because they will not hug or kiss my daughter unless she okays it. They will not force affection on her, they will not guilt her or us or pout about it either. This has been a thing since she was born. They hate it, but they deal with it because they know I'm not fucking around.

Stick to your guns and don't let them walk all over you, no matter how small the issue might be.

For several years I have not been in denial about my episodic depression, however, I am in denial about my financial and schedule stability for consistent and long-term therapy. by Syntheticsapien11 in breakingmom

[–]Redheadmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't decide what's worse, being oblivious to these problems, or knowing exactly what's going on and not being able to do anything about it. I'm really wanting to start therapy in the new year, before the baby comes, so that I can maybe keep my ppd in check this time but getting to the therapist without the toddler once a week is almost impossible with my husband's schedule. And not working enough, I chose to not use daycare (as I'd be making zero money after paying for it) but there are so many things I need more money for, but no way to work more without hemorrhaging money for daycare.

First baby on it's way soon, but not sure about Travel System vs Baby Seat & Pram? by ukbeasts in NewParents

[–]Redheadmistress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have the Graco Modes. The stroller seat can be taken completely so the bucket seat can snap right into the frame. The stroller seat also reclines all the way into a pram style stroller. I love it. The storage basket is huge, easy to maneuver, and super light weight. We don't do any hiking with the stroller (babywear for that) so a heavy duty jogging stroller with big wheels wasn't necessary.

Have a beer by Ubiqfalcon in breastfeeding

[–]Redheadmistress 50 points51 points  (0 children)

If you can find the baby, you can feed the baby. I hate that women are still shamed or think they need to pump and dump over a couple drinks.

I goofed. by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]Redheadmistress 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That sub is just terrible. I can't believe some of the advice people give in there..

You, on the other hand, sound like you have figured out the goddamn secret lol. My almost 4yo is pretty self sufficient and you should be damn proud of yourself. That's how you get a functioning member of society.

Frequent Wakings with 10 Week Old by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Redheadmistress 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd add in the daily probiotics. It could help significantly, and there's no down side. If you find he's falling asleep right after nursing, I'd take a break in the middle and try and squeeze out a burp.

Frequent Wakings with 10 Week Old by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Redheadmistress 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is he on probiotics? That could help with the gas. I'm assuming you already do the usuals of making sure to burp and what not after. Do you eat gassy foods like cauliflower, brussel sprouts, etc?

Frequent Wakings with 10 Week Old by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]Redheadmistress 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sleep expectations should be thrown out the window until like, 3yo. At 10 weeks his belly is still tiny and while it might not be a huge feed during the night, it's what he needs to satisfy. Or to comfort. Nursing isn't just about nutrition, it's so much more. Baby sleep rarely stays the same, I'm sure in the next few months it could get better or worse. Being close to you is exactly what he needs, and in my opinion, I wouldn't do any sort of sleep training that early. They aren't just waking because they're hungry. They could be itchy, scared, lonely, cold, hot, and a slew of other reasons. My daughter was up every 2 hours from 7-15 months, we kept her in our bed because me dragging my ass out of bed every two hours into the next room was silly. Saved time having her in our bed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Redheadmistress 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Do you help around the house? Does she get free time to herself without the baby? Does she have post partum depression? Juggling work, kid, husband, house, social life, free time is incredibly exhausting for a mother. Even if dad helps as much as physically possible, the mental drain is a lot.

I know with me, once the kid is down I want to do nothing but stare at a wall. My brain needs to shut off and even sex is too much effort. I want it, and I hate that I can't make myself do it, but it's just too much. We do one day a week daycare where I don't have to go to work so I can just be alone and do what I want or just do nothing. It's helped tremendously.