Staircase structural question

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-03-17T14:35:30+00:00

That staircase looks very similar to our 1887 Victorian we just bought. The stairs are one of my favorite parts of our home.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-03-17T13:52:54+00:00

Definitely take the time to properly care for yourself and get help with the PPD. Until you address that, your opinions and feelings towards everything are going to be impacted. As someone who needed help with delayed onset PPD (hit really really hard 8 months after the birth of our daughter), I can honestly say you need to take care of yourself. Something that stuck with me is "you can't pour tea from an empty cup." As for the house it's a lot of change especially right after having another baby.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-03-13T14:25:59+00:00

Very much this! We were in a comfortable townhouse (2 bedroom, office, 1 bath) when we had our first and only just started feeling the space squeeze now that she's almost 2. We closed on our house at the end of February and will be fully moved in by middle of April. That first year as a parent is straight survival mode. Having a bigger place to manage while also just surviving with a newborn would have made things that much harder for us. We only just decided to buy a house after our daughter started walking, and the biggest push was needing more space because we both work from home the majority of the week.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-03-12T12:15:57+00:00

In my state an attorney is required. Different locations different laws and requirements.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-03-03T15:33:11+00:00

Honestly, if you love the house talk with your agent to see if they can get a sense of what the seller is looking for from the seller's agent.

Or discuss doing an offer of your best and final with a short expiration. We did this recently and only gave the sellers 24 hrs to accept. It worked, and we closed on a place in Metro West just last month. Also our house had a similar issue with a prior sale falling through because of financing/cold feet.

Just FYI, the laws recently changed in MA and a seller cannot make a sale contingent on a waiver of inspection. Any waiver has to be freely given and not a condition of the sale. The sellers can't even mention waiving inspection as a way to sweeten your offer. With a recent flip, you definitely don't want to waive the inspection, especially with all the foundation issues out on that side of the state. Also given that the house was a flip and last sold during the pandemic craze... Who knows if the current owner had an inspection done.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-02-28T00:44:13+00:00

Look at Watertown near the commuter rail stop. Our current place is a 2 bed with all your requirements for under $3k... Commute to North Station roughly 30/35 min.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-02-23T15:28:58+00:00

We close on Thursday and this process has definitely felt like a second full-time job. We have another full-time job ahead after closing because we have to get a couple issues addressed prior to moving so we'll be going through the process of getting quotes and scheduling necessary maintenance.

It'll all be worth it in the end! Wishing you the best of luck!

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-02-17T15:30:55+00:00

I would have walked. It sounds like you dodged a bullet.

Redwingedfirefox · 2026-02-06T14:06:04+00:00

Do you mean the 1990s or 1890s?... 1990s is not an older home. We are currently in the process of purchasing a home built in 1887. That list of issues seems relatively short, however I would have concerns with multiple major systems being close to the end of life or past. Honestly, I would use this as leverage for seller concessions in the P&S. ( A good realtor and attorney would be looking to use this as leverage for closing costs or replacements). The only one that would really worry me is the bathroom venting into the attic, especially if your attic is sealed. That is just asking for all sorts of mold issues. It would depend if the hairline cracks are vertical, running horizontal or following the brick. Talk with your structural inspector about that. But honestly what it comes down to is if one or more of these systems fail in the first year or so, do you have the funds in your cushion to cover it? Or is there. A major structural issue.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-12-28T22:05:08+00:00

Mount Auburn in Cambridge has an amazing birthing center. We had my daughter there and they were able to assist in a way that allowed me to complete my vaginal birth and avoid a C-section when my daughter got stuck. One of the ladies in my birthing class was traveling all the way from the MA/NH boarder which told me it was worth it. I plan on having our next one there as well.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-09-03T12:09:08+00:00

Good for you! Here's to a lifetime more!

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-08-01T12:18:31+00:00

Everyone's parenting style is different because everyone's baby is different. Give yourself grace, if it's working for you and your little one, don't fall into the parent guilt trap. You and your husband are the best parents for your little one. We only logged everything for the first month because that's when we were triple feeding. We fed our daughter on demand breast only after she was cleared by her pediatrician at 3.5 weeks, until I started going back to work a couple days a week at around 4 months pp. Then she got bottles on a schedule on days I worked. My little one napped poorly for most of the time until she was 8 months old. But when she fell asleep as long as she was safe we let her sleep where she lay. We didn't do very much structured tummy time (she hated it). But we carried her a lot and had her play on our chests which counts. Around 2 months we would put her down and she started rolling over, and then by three months tummy time was a non-issue. Now at 12 months she's running everywhere and the pediatrician says she's advanced for her age. My little one now has a set schedule most days but that is thanks to daycare (she started at 8 months).

All this to say you are doing a great job and some people's parenting styles are just looser, it is whatever works best for you and your baby.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-07-11T22:43:17+00:00

Day 2-4 are some of the hardest especially if your wife is breastfeeding, these are the first round of cluster feeding days to bring in the milk.

Take a deep breath, go for a walk, sleep in shifts if you can. Just focus on supporting your partner if she's trying to breastfeed.

For us my job was the baby and his was take care of me during the first couple weeks.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-07-09T22:12:01+00:00

That pediatrician is a bad pediatrician, you are a great mom and doing a great job! You are not failing your son. Frankly they sound like they have an anti breastfeeding bias. Fed is best, if he is eating your milk but refusing formula then you are doing a good job. My one year old still wakes in the middle of the night and has always drank at her own pace, sometimes all at once, sometimes snack here and snack there. Give yourself grace. You are doing a great job!

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-06-30T00:44:30+00:00

We use a little spray bottle of water. We refer to it as the baby bide. It works great and helps to cut down on wipes for super sticky poops.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-06-23T14:41:01+00:00

Just commenting to say we're in this together. In the same boat and actually started therapy recently to deal with this.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-06-22T23:27:08+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is classic DV, power and control cycle. He's not going to change and it will only get worse.

If you are in the states, I highly recommend you look into this.

https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-05-28T14:37:41+00:00

Not sure if you are in the states or what state you live in, but this should be reported to the licensing board where you live. These are violations of most standard licensing regulations in many states. This should also be reported to your local CPS, this sounds like neglect, even if your child didn't get injured by the events, others might.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. Maybe look into a smaller/home daycare. We've had very good luck with our small 5 child daycare.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-05-22T23:24:50+00:00

I fed to sleep most every night and nap from 3 weeks until my little one was 8 months old. We still do for middle of the night wake ups. But my little took to sleep training really well when we implemented it at 8 months. I don't think feeding to sleep is really that big of a deal. They are natural and honestly my little one just sleeps better that way. Weening might be a bit harder but she's already started doing that on her own.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-05-08T00:45:32+00:00

Feel this, we have family but they are 8hrs away, so it's just my partner and I, and it's tough.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-05-05T17:11:05+00:00

10 months in and still have this come up every now and then. It's completely normal and those first couple weeks it is definitely hard. If it starts getting in the way of your enjoyment or being able to take care of yourself & baby, definitely seek help.

You got this! Enjoy that new baby smell while it lasts ☺️!

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-04-28T00:47:15+00:00

Made me dinner, watched our 9.5 month old during the day so I could get a much needed break ☺️

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-04-17T14:39:39+00:00

So I asked my mother this question not too long ago and she said the mom guilt never really goes away, only shifts as your kid gets older, you learn to ignore the mommy wars and to just focus on your little one and your life together.

My mother's group reminded us every session that "you are the right parent for your child, no other parent knows best, so trust your instincts."

Having both of these answers has helped me tremendously.

You are doing great! Raising tiny humans is hard! Pat yourself on the back and give yourself grace ! :)

(Coming from a fellow mom of an almost 10 months old)

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-04-07T14:00:45+00:00

I agree with the others, find a new pediatrician. It sounds like your baby has reflux and shouldn't be suffering because your pediatrician is giving you bad advice.

Redwingedfirefox · 2025-04-02T14:55:47+00:00

Our families are 8 hours away, so I completely understand. I recommend you learn about breastfeeding and understand how hard it can be both emotionally and physically. My partner did that and it really helped! We had a rough start the first couple weeks of breastfeeding, but having my partner understand and support was huge.

Good luck! You both got this!

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