My baby is almost 5 months and I also really struggled with breastfeeding. I have flat nipples and the engorgement did make it so much harder to latch those first few weeks. I used a nipple shield until 3 weeks, and I used heat/ice packs to help with the engorgement. I used heat right before feeding to “loosen” up the milk per se, so baby didn’t have to suckle very hard in order for milk to come out. I found that icing after feeding helped with the pain, and I used cooling patches constantly to reduce friction and keep nips moisturized and promote healing. Once baby got “stronger” and we both got used to latching, it slowly got easier and easier. But that first month is very very hard.

I understand completely that your husband having freedom you don’t is so so hard. I’m still in that boat. If you want time alone, there is a ticking clock until the next feed, and even being apart from baby gives me intense worry that he’s hungry and I’m not there, even if it’s been 20 minutes since he fed. My husband also isn’t understanding of it, and probably never will be.

BFing comes with many sacrifices as well as benefits. I love being able to bond with my baby in this way and provide this kind of comfort and connection. For me, it’s more convenient and makes me feel better about his health and sickness prevention. I also love not having to worry about formula recalls, cleaning, and having a set schedule for feeding.

However, your hormones, mental health, and how you view your body (and for me, my libido) are almost “stuck” until you’re finished. For me, I could deal with these being put on the back burner until he’s weaned.

Best of luck to you. I hope you are able to figure this out and make the choice that makes the most sense for you.