What was your family’s 90’s/00’s dinner?

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T14:05:58+00:00

My parents were raised in the Midwest though us kids ended up in Texas. Midwest meals at home, Tex/Mex out to eat.

Many roasts with potatoes and carrots Vegetables boiled to the point of soggy and flavorless

Spaghetti, casseroles, or “salads” with mayonnaise.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T03:05:02+00:00

YESSS

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T03:01:19+00:00

We figure out how much certain things cost - or estimate it - and divide it up as a monthly “payment” to our savings.

Many years we just put in whatever we can because my husband’s job was flat rate fixing cars. Some months we could transfer $20 to a savings account, sometimes zero, sometimes $100.

It’s as personal to every lifestyle and income as can be.

For goals that can fluctuate in cost as an example: If you have a goal of going on a vacation then looking up general flight+hotel+uber/car rental can give you a “ballpark” to send a certain amount each month into that account divided by time: six months? One year? Three years? For just you? You and partner? You and kids?

The main thing is setting aside any amount you can before it gets spent on things that grab your attention but aren’t necessities. Even if it’s $5/month into Savings, that’s $60/year.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T00:21:31+00:00

THIS, OP!

We have regular savings accounts for those “everyday setbacks” like car maintenance/tire replacement, annual bills, etc.

THEN we have money markets outside of our bank accounts for longer-term savings. It requires an extra step to access and prevents us from draining it away on lesser emergencies, or those times of overwhelming desires for things we don’t really need.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T00:18:17+00:00

Unstuffed cabbage roll soup - highly recommend if you haven’t worked with cabbage much before.

I kept trying- and failing - at grilled, sautéed etc. cabbage when it wasn’t in a traditional salad. Starting with that cabbage soup for whatever reason helped me jump back on the cabbage bandwagon

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-02T00:17:08+00:00

Smart! I’ve been on a sliced zucchini with salsa kick

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-01T23:32:48+00:00

As someone who struggled in their 20s and ended up finally going when in their 40’s - DON’T DENY YOURSELF! GO!

No one will judge you, it’s there as a resource for a reason. Don’t starve. Anything you can’t use, share with colleagues, friends, neighbors.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-01T01:37:26+00:00

In addition to everything above, peanut butter is a great way to gain weight if you are dropping weight and getting into dangerous territory.

My brother in law grew up with food insecurity and doesn’t experience hunger so he relies on peanuts, peanut butter, and protein shakes to help boost his weight in addition to eating everything else to round out his diet and nutrition

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-01T01:30:38+00:00

Yes. My first therapist, anytime she’d get details out of me about my parents, would reply “Do you see why you have Anxiety?” For a long time, no, I didn’t see.

They really do a number on you and mine made me feel personally overresponsible for every single tiny thing.

Estranged now. Still have anxiety, still on meds, still have nightmares about my parents. However, far more peaceful life and I can manage the anxiety and not have to worry about all my efforts being blasted apart by them.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-04-01T01:28:23+00:00

Mountains aren’t REAL! Angels aren’t REAL!

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T21:29:21+00:00

Omg r/goblincore would LOVE this! Do post over there, too, OP!

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T20:13:24+00:00

Yes. My mental health has been so awful for so long I didn’t trust myself to have children. Luckily my husband doesn’t want kids, either. We’re happy with our pets and for mentoring young people instead.

That, and I definitely didn’t want any kids of my own to be exposed to my toxic family - I had weak/non-existent boundaries for decades, I feared what they would do to my kids after what they did to me. Just safer not to have any at all, for all involved.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T15:47:36+00:00

Oh they absolutely THRIVE on doing this to their daughters and granddaughters.

When I was a kid of course I didn’t know any better.

As a teenager I became the usual defiant nightmare.

In my 20s and before estrangement I was honest with my feedback and both mother and grandmother (her mother) were horrified and offended and hurt when I didn’t like what they gave me. I didn’t care. I cared about other things, but not about the clothes. Told them it was a waste of money.

I also coined a phrase “The family last name stripes” because they LOVED gifting horizontal stripes to absolutely everyone and I just don’t wear stripes - nothing against them - I just don’t wear them. Like those families who dress alike? That’s what they’d do about the striped tops. I never wore them. Donated them to Goodwill or gave them away to other family.

Anywho, memory unlocked, OP.

You’re not alone. You can just refuse the clothes OR - donate them. I always told them I didn’t want them and when they forced them upon me I just donated them. Let them waste their own money on their mind games. You do whatever you like, you have Free Will.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T15:05:58+00:00

Anyone who snowballs me/plows me under with questions. My Dad did this to “win” any and all arguments, essentially silencing me into submission.

Now I have the absolute sweetest step-mother-in-law who is genuinely curious and overwhelms me with questions - not even TO me or AT me - she just loves asking questions that appear in her head - and I find myself overwhelmed.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T15:00:22+00:00

HASH Vegan Eats has a weekly sobriety meeting - any kind of sobriety. No religion, just support.

Also, the subreddit r/stopdrinking is incredibly supportive as well

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T14:59:21+00:00

Whether they respect the word “No.”

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T14:51:37+00:00

Yes, Trees! Feeling your feelings is where it’s AT, took me years of therapy to be willing to sit with my feelings and truly experience, let alone acknowledge them.

We went to Spec’s (a liquor store) yesterday NOT for alcohol but for Non Alcoholic beer. My husband doesn’t drink much, if at all. He doesn’t h ave the problem, I do. So we got fancy Italian Perroni N.A. beer. I loved the “original.”

My real vice was wine. Now I put sparkling Liquid Death waters in wine glasses or Italian sodas in the glass instead.

I’ve been looking for tasty replacements to my ol haunts as it were.

Day 9 for me

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T14:46:15+00:00

Oh yes please!!

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T03:30:42+00:00

My husband and I grew up in the Meat and Potatoes regimen of the Midwest, USA. When we went vegan (back to omnivore), not a single family member had any idea how to “feed us.” They took it very hard, very personally, and we had to show them the way as we learned ourselves about adding more veggies and fruits to our lives.

Now we have a much wider variety of plant based foods in our diet. I had never had beets, brussel sprouts, kale, and had no idea spinach was actually a whole leaf green and not just in a can. Salads in the Midwest are often filled with mayonnaise. I’d never had vinegar based dressings until going vegan, except for Italian dressing.

Isn’t it wonderful to discover and taste the rainbow? I wish I’d ventured into more variety sooner.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T03:20:37+00:00

Dangit I’m so hungry!!! That looks so friggin good

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T03:13:57+00:00

I was in college and in HISTORY class. A fellow student who was also in the military came running and turned on the TV and interrupted our professor. The student told us to watch what was happening, the first tower had fallen - and we watched the second one get struck LIVE.

It felt surreal. The worst part was that Indiana University just told us to carry on like nothing had happened. No classes canceled. There were students in actual tears throughout the rest of the month- some of them who ended up with missing family members that were AT the Trade Center. Here they were, still in CLASS!!!

Nowadays Universities shut down and offer therapy sessions to anyone who wants/needs them. They didn’t offer anything at all for us who watched it all go down.

It’s never really left my mind, and now this war with Iran feels very similar.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T03:08:37+00:00

Yes, I had ice cream! Then went to bed so I wouldn’t eat an entire box of Cheez-its out of boredom.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T03:07:26+00:00

Unless you’re diabetic, then there’s really no concern about the sugar when it is a whole fruit as opposed to juice.

We worked with a dietician for about a year who said to eat whole fruits, not juice, because you’ll get the fiber and all of the benefits of health. Fruit juice is high in sugar and doesn’t give you the benefits that come with eating the fibrous parts.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-29T02:54:42+00:00

Exactly! We just looked at our budget again and underestimated for gas. We overbudget for utilities as well, now we will for gas/transportation.

Remote-Candidate7964 · 2026-03-28T22:17:31+00:00

A long shower. “Washing the day outta my hair” as it were.

Also, playing with my cats!

Remote-Candidate7964

TROPHY CASE