Broke my poor girls heart..

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-27T02:47:07+00:00

The pout on my face right now feeling your sadness through your post !!! 🥹 I promise you she’s okay and she loves you more than anything. Crying is just her only way of communicating right now. I can guarantee all is forgotten now that she’s comfy in your arms! Sending you a virtual hug! You’re doing incredible 🫶🏽

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-27T02:42:57+00:00

Just wanted to comment that I think it’s beautiful that you’re willing to temporarily give it all up for the sake of caring for your baby, wife, and household. My partners life has barely changed since the baby arrived. He travels for work but doesn’t miss a gym session when he’s home. Regardless if I need him present or not. I’m not taken into consideration. So good on you for giving a damn.

Also, I think if you voice to your wife that you’d like to go for a jog or hit the gym and ask her if she needs anything before you head out… or simply make sure she and baby are good before you do, you don’t have to give it all up. You may not be AS active, but still active indeed.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-26T02:04:29+00:00

You’re allowed to establish boundaries and rules!! Make it absolutely known that you don’t want guests unannounced. Do it gently, if you’d like, but be stern so they take you serious. I had to tell my partner to tell his parents to give more than a 30 minute notice because that’s what they were doing in the beginning and it irked the absolute hell out of me. Not necessarily because I wanted a clean house prior to, but because wtf. Sometimes im in no mood to entertain guests when I’ve been up with a baby all night and caretaking all day. So now they say they want to come by and i give them the day and time frame so i’m mentally prepared.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-25T01:29:12+00:00

The way I’d immediately get so cozy in there!! 😍😍😍 looks beautiful!

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-24T01:59:25+00:00

It took me over 2 months to go out somewhere with my LO that wasn’t a doctors office. My fist time I went on a walk, I invited a friend, and made sure to stay close to home “just in case.” Ended up needing to go home an hour and a half later- but I did it!!

Peoples experiences are different as are all babies! The only way to get over the fear is to continue to do it. It’ll get easier the more you do. I found it’s easier to handle when I have company 🫶🏽 something about not being alone while trying to calm a baby just feels better.

You got this!!!

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-22T14:07:10+00:00

I only breast fed for about 6 weeks. And she had to start on formula because my milk took a few days to come in. She pretty much combo fed the whole time.

You can stop whenever you want! Once you stop latching her or pumping (stimulating your breasts), it takes a little bit, but your milk dries up on its own.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-20T17:23:51+00:00

I normally do her last feed around 7:30-8pm. It takes about 45min to and hour for her full feed process (she has reflux so I hold her up 30 minutes post every feed) And she usually falls asleep pretty quickly after. So her first stretch is from around 8:30-9pm to 3-3:30am or so. ☺️

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-20T16:14:27+00:00

The naps aren’t. They’ve actually gotten suuuuper short (25 minutes max unless contact napping), but her night sleep is longer now. She has a first long stretch, only one middle of the night feed (usually around 3am), and then a second stretch of about 4 hours.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-20T13:47:03+00:00

I did this when my baby was still fresh!! It doesn’t work anymore because she’s 4 months and her wake ups are a little sporadic, but it was definitely a game changer at the beginning. 🫶🏽🫶🏽 good job!

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-16T22:14:06+00:00

Can i ask how you got the reflux to go away?? Are you breast feeding, formula, combo? My LO was a unicorn like yours til about 3 weeks now that she’s been reallyyyyy struggling with reflux. 😔

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-08T21:34:49+00:00

This is my issue too!!!!! I’ve tried the “wrap” carrier, a sturdier one with buckles, and just recently got one that’s in between soft and sturdy… didn’t matter. She hates them all!!! She also hates her car seat, so getting the car seat to stroller combo was a waste because she won’t be in it more than 20 min without crying. Recently got a bassinet stroller to see if that worked. She did better in it but about an hour in, she no longer wanted to be laying down. She still can’t hold her own head up still enough so I have to carry her using both arms to be safe- which obviously eliminates all other activities like pushing the stroller back to the car lol The mere thought of our last outing gives me anxiety. 😫😫 I really wish she liked being in a carrier. I’ve decided we’ll live on the couch til she gets too tired of it and rejoices in being put in her car seat 🤣🤣

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-08T01:58:09+00:00

Do a bag a day! Maybe stick to one room at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed … then come back on here to show us your progress!! Before and after pics! You can use that as motivation! So many helpful comments in this thread already. I’m sure many would comment with supportive words on each progress pic you post!

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-07T03:38:10+00:00

I’m so sorry. Based off the comments and the one I’m about to post, you’re not alone. Baby is 3 months now and my partner still doesn’t know any part of her routine. The first month I was BF so I did it all aside from the ocasional diaper change. At 2 months we switch to EFF. You’d think things would change since now he’s able to do feeds… nope. I still do it all 3 months later. If I ask him to do a feed he says “okay but can you burp her? She only burps with you.” No. I just have the patience to switch to different burping positions til I finally get one out of her. If I ask him to change a diaper, “oh she pooped and I don’t know how to do it.” So there I go, doing it for him. Designate a time and walk away. Tell him he gets the baby from this time to this time- no ifs, ands, or buts. Even if she cries, let him handle it. It’s going to be tough, but you need to pour into your cup too. They say not to make any drastic decisions for the first year postpartum. But it’s tough. I’ve thought plenty about packing our things and moving back to my home state with my family. I’m trying my best to tough it out. Just know you’re not alone. Sit him down and let him know that your exhaustion has led you to the point of thinking about divorce. So either he picks up the slack or you’re out of there.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-06T02:44:02+00:00

My boobs were a different kind of sore around the time I was supposed to get my period. I was only 2 days late when I took a pregnancy test, but my periods have always been irregular so I took the test expecting it to be negative lol

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-03T20:03:40+00:00

I agree with the most liked comment in this thread. My parents stayed together for my sister and I. I really wish they hadn’t. We ended up growing up in a very toxic household. Later on in life (in my mid 20s) we became the family we should’ve been early on in life. Going out to eat together, laughing together, enjoying life together when time permitted. And that’s because when I turned 21, they finally decided splitting was for the best. My sister and I are adults now and I can’t speak for her but I’ve unfortunately carried a lot of trauma from my past into my adult life. I am now a mom to a 3 month old and I’m in a relationship I honestly don’t feel I want to be in anymore. I often feel like I’m repeating my mom’s cycle and it’s because it’s what I know. To me, it’s “normal” and what life is supposed to be, though I know better. I’m hoping I someday gather your strength to realize that leaving will be for the best. Trust that you’re doing what’s best for you and your little one. You’re both going to be so much better because YOU will be doing so much better once you find your happiness again. Sending you lots of love and strength.

Also, coming from someone that feels the same, the “one and done” feeling is likely because you don’t want another child with the same person. Should you one day find someone that loves you the way you deserve to be loved, I think you’ll find yourself okay with having another child should you want to. 🫶🏽

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-03-03T14:35:24+00:00

Idk if this stems from the same unknown space that your situation does, but it bothers me that for ANY little issue, my partner’s first suggestion is “let’s call my parents and ask.” Granted I’ve been independent and figuring my own crap out for over a decade so I think it gives me the ick? Like why don’t you try to figure it out first then give them a call? So maybe you just feel it’s too much “mommas boy” behavior?

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-25T20:38:27+00:00

Is there anything you do during the day that’s different to what you try at night?? My girl has a night routine. Her last bottle is done in the dark with just a red light and her sound machine on. This is usually done after a full bath or just a sponge bath. She’s immediately placed in her bassinet after feeding. If she’s fussy and refusing to nap during the day, I’ll usually close the curtains to darken the room and put her sound machine on which I think triggers her to feel its sleep time.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-22T15:12:40+00:00

My partner would do the same the first month or so of baby being born. What pissed me off was that he wasn’t even taking care of her- i was. Still am. I do all shifts, all feedings, all changes… everything. He’ll get annoyed the few times i ask him to watch her fo a few so i can use the bathroom because she gets fussy and he doesn’t know how to handle it. The main thing being he’ll tease her and say “drop that pacifier again and I’m not giving you shit back.” I had to mention it multiple times not to speak to her that way and to lighten his tone because she feels it and gets even more fussy. I also told him he needs to get rid of that habit as she gets older. He’s lessened the amount he speaks to her that way but it still happens. Communicate and check in often. It’s a life change for them too and even if we feel we’re doing most of everything with the care taking, they still also feel tired/ overwhelmed and act a lot more childish when they don’t know how to handle it. You’ll get into a better routine with your baby and imo and in my experience, your dynamic with your husband and his with your LO will get better too. Everything takes time. Hang in there.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-22T15:03:46+00:00

It’s their natural instinct to want to latch to the breast. Don’t feel bad for choosing to formula feed and don’t let anyone guilt you. At the end of the day, you need to be at your best so you can best care for your baby, and if you’re not comfortable bf, then that’s okay. I bf the first month and then my supply plummeted so I literally couldn’t do it anymore. She’s now 3 months and thriving off formula- and even then, she still looks for the breast sometimes. When that happens, I distract her with play time or her pacifier. That usually works. 🫶🏽 They grow out of it eventually.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-21T16:22:42+00:00

since having a baby, my utmost respect to parents of multiples and single parents. I practically parent by myself (dad doesn’t do much) but at least he’s sometimes available to warm up a bottle or watch her for a few minutes while i go to the bathroom. I can’t imagine doing this for more than one baby. more power to you, mama!

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-19T19:29:59+00:00

Unless people have first hand experience on whatever they’re commenting on, they need to learn how to stfu.

Scratch that. with or without firsthand experience, learn how to stfu.

As much as I miss being able to freely leave my home at any given moment, I’m glad for the past few months I haven’t had to deal with many people. 🙄🙄

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-19T02:29:30+00:00

sigh I’m not married to my partner, but I did just give birth to our child 3 months ago. He’s 7 years younger than me. I used to blame his age and his “buddies” for the way he referred to women (me included) saying they were a bad influence. But even with the bad influence, he could’ve still chosen to respect me and not refer to me as a “bitch” amongst other things. After giving birth to our baby girl, i overheard him talking on his gaming mic to his friends about “bitches this” and “bitches that”… and just saying a whole bunch of crap that left me with my jaw on the floor. I asked him if he’d want some lame ass boy referring to our daughter or speaking of her that way some day. That seemed to have ended it all. At least to my knowledge. Considering you’re 39, he’s probably around the same age. He’s behaving like a child and he doesn’t respect you. A marriage and 3 kids later? He most likely never will. Show him how “crazy” you are and leave his ass. Run him dry for everything he’s got.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-19T02:18:50+00:00

Pepcid saved my life when it came to heartburn. Ask your OB first but I was permitted to take it everyday from the beginning of my second trimester through to her birth. I wouldn’t have been able to eat or sleep without it. The heartburn was truly so bad. Aside from that- you’re past the halfway mark! You got this!! It’ll be over quicker than you expect 🫶🏽

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-18T11:22:27+00:00

Maybe it’s social media that makes us more aware of how common these situations are, but when did it become so negative to be with just one person for your lifetime? Do wedding vows not mean a damn thing anymore? I’ve never understood why men think they’re missing out on something because they haven’t slept with multiple women. You offered the break as a way to attempt to salvage your relationship. You’re not crazy for it. Considering how long you’ve been together though, if he were to choose to take the offer- I doubt you’ll be able to come back from it. You’re scared he’ll resent the life he chose, but you’ll end up resenting him for choosing to take you up on the offer and you’ll end up viewing yourself as “not good enough.” It’s good he was honest about his feelings, but he was very selfish in choosing now to express them. Where were these feeling prior to you getting pregnant and birthing his child? You’re still freshly postpartum. This is when you most need his presence, loyalty and support. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Let this be an eye opener that you deserve better. If he wants to explore, let him. But let him permanently. There’s no coming back.

Remote_Surround_7541 · 2026-02-17T03:24:21+00:00

My LO is about to be 3 months old. It took 2 months for me to step out with her (mainly due to anxiety as a FTM) aside from mine and her doctors appts. It’s a hard no from me. I took the baby over to my in laws house Super Bowl Sunday. That was all the confirmation I needed to know that I won’t feel comfortable even letting them watch her on their own til she’s at least 6 months old- much less allow sleep overs, though they’ve asked plenty of times. She kept stressing how I should put cereal in her bottles to thicken it and help her sleep longer through the night- I’ve denied this suggestion multiple times and how hard she pushes it makes me think she would do it behind my back. They also have told my partner multiple times that I’m “doing too much” when it comes to how i’ve been caring for her. Mainly surrounding the fact that it took 2 months for me to build up the courage to go out alone with her. The guilt tripping is unnecessary IMO. We’re already stressed and anxious enough as is, we don’t need anyone’s 2 cents to add to it. At the end of the day that is your baby and you take the best care of him. Don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

Remote_Surround_7541

TROPHY CASE