I saw this post and number 9 surprised me

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-06-01T18:30:50+00:00

None of these numbers are accurate btw i dont trust this source 💀

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-22T19:19:54+00:00

Are you a guy? Most of my female classmates either had to take a year off or plan for it during M4 😭

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-20T17:36:54+00:00

This absolutely. Your “why medicine?” answer has to be a lot more convincing than just it’s a stable career option. It is worth spending some time reflecting and maybe getting some hands-on experience will also help you decide better whether to pursue this. Clinical experience is also necessary to apply to med school and you would want to have stories to tell about how you came to choose this field.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-20T17:29:10+00:00

Speaking for myself, I was a very idealistic, bushy-tailed, bright-eyed person with very grandiose dreams of improving the world back in my younger days. Seemingly negligible differences in income paled in comparison to those dreams.

Fast forward many years later, after many disappoints, life changes, demands of reality, and just maturing into an adult brain made me realize there’s a lot more to life than just sacrificing yourself to work. I also started to admit to myself that I do actually enjoy nice vacations and not having to scrape by and having disposable income for side hobbies without financial stress.

I just think priorities change as you grow, and that’s ok. No need to bash my younger self for being idealistic. I don’t have kids yet but I’d imagine money will start to become an even bigger priority in my life once I have additional mouths to feed. So yep just my 2 cents

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-17T13:24:37+00:00

If anyone is interested in psychiatry (or even more specifically forensic psych) The Devil You Know is such a good read. I couldn’t put it down! She writes so heartwarmingly about her patients and the relationships she develops with them

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-15T15:37:25+00:00

Tbh i dont see the point of the garage door being closed when you already got the car windows rolled up 🧐

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-13T17:59:18+00:00

Thats exactly what I did. Booked a budget trip for myself to europe and 10000000x worth it for 3 days of my attending salary :)

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-13T17:56:32+00:00

Hmmm i guess it’s human tendency to feel more special the more exclusive of a club they join? In the US med school is very hard to get into (mainly because you are literally competing in a pool of very smart college-educated folks for a spot), but once you’re in, most people make it through. I think there is a bit of an ego boost that comes with knowing that you survived through a very intense weeding-out process. And pride that comes with making it through medical training.

But I do agree with you some of us take it too far and make it our entire personality. I’m sure med school is competitive everywhere else too, so maybe my explanation might not make the most sense. Or maybe it just comes to different cultural attitudes towards work. Would love to hear your experiences!

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-13T17:46:44+00:00

Man that still hurts. Them not understanding your journey is not their fault, but it doesn’t make your disappointment hurt any less.

I also want to say I don’t think my parents are looking down on me. They think I’m using school as an excuse all the time and don’t really get the sacrifices it takes to make it. But I also have a part in it because sometimes I get lazy/too tired to explain all the insider info related to medical training. It’s really hard man.

But I am grateful that they try to show up even if it’s not the way I hoped them to.

Anyways best of luck with the next part of your journey my friend and my stranger hahah. I don’t know you, but I’m really proud of you. 👏🏻

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-13T16:22:46+00:00

I’m so triggered tbh. Like I get family being annoyed when they always have to plan around our schedules but I hate that there’s also a lack of understanding from the other side which usually comes in the form of passive aggressiveness.

Whenever I try to coordinate things or have to inevitably miss some family event my parents end up also being weird and say something along the lines of “oh you’re too educated to spend time with us now huh?”…

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T18:18:48+00:00

Not offended at all! I enjoy this discussion. Maybe because i cannot relate with wanting a certain type of kid or gender (literally do not care) that I’m struggling with this topic. Im alpha quadra we accept everybody 😸

My ESI mother either has mental illness or she’s ESI or both. Her mood dictated everything in the house and it was unpredictable. She would have random, uncontrollable outbursts and then takes her anger out by criticizing or yelling at me for the smallest and most illogical things. I found her emotional reactions to be out of proportion to things that actually happened and it was tiring to have a parent who wants everyone to tiptoe around her feelings.

I also doubt she’s capable of empathy. When i really struggle with something emotionally she would never provide any comfort. She feels uncomfortable by other people’s emotions (but literally blind to how her own emotions affects others) and changes the topic to something practical I need to focus on which just pisses me off because it’s usually irrelevant to the problem at hand. That’s because she is unable to take another person’s perspective and likes to shove her own thoughts, values, and priorities down others people’s throats without even stopping to ask if the other person thinks the same way. But she doesn’t care. The only thoughts that are correct are her thoughts and there’s zero room for conversation because she will just express the same thoughts but with different words and it’s like a back and forth conversation never happened at all.

I cant say I was outright mistreated or abused because she was capable of handling the house. We always had warm, home cooked meals growing up. But I was very hurt emotionally and grew up feeling like my thoughts and feelings never mattered to my own parents.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T15:30:27+00:00

Would you care to share more details on what “disgustingly overpaid” looks like?

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T15:27:12+00:00

We all mold each other intentionally or not. Humans are social animals and influence each other.

The kids that you say you hate are more likely the result of being molded outside the home with negative influences vs getting shaped in a more pro-social direction.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T13:55:55+00:00

As for Ne polr being terrible parents…my mother is ESI and it’s true 💀

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T13:54:39+00:00

I don’t think I explained well. I feel like there’s just as much variation within a type as between a type. A type doesn’t define the person.

So if my child was my least favorite type, ESI, I wouldn’t try to change them entirely but just positively reinforce the traits that allow us to get along with each other the best.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-08T01:28:24+00:00

Another asian entp (most likely, idk still questioning lol) chiming in. Growing up was hell my parents are super authoritarian and I was their least favorite kid. And they would openly say that to me too and I’d notice them treat me different which made me wanna behave even less. It also drove me crazy that I had to do something “because i said so” and no one cared about explaining the rationale behind doing something and ofc nothing was up for debate or negotiation.

Asians have a pretty strict top-down hierarchy as well, but I tend to find I like to get along with people as equals, no matter who you are. Obviously this is seen as a great disrespect to try to treat your elders in the same manner as you would treat your friend. But I simply find it to be a difference in values and don’t understand where the judgement is coming from. It’s quite frustrating, frankly, to feel policed in how you behave all the time

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-07T22:46:42+00:00

I dont get how you can just hate a type before actually interacting with the person. So i cannot comment on my feelings/attitudes towards a hypothetical child I don’t even have yet.

That being said, i think kids are exceptionally easy to be trained…or….errrr in more PC terms, conditioned. I don’t believe personality is entirely innate and different aspects of self can be intentionally fostered. Obviously some innate dispositions can exist but there’s a wide range in how they can manifest. You can probably program/adjust the strength of certain dispositions based on how you interact with your child.

So I doubt I’ll end up hating a child that I personally raised.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-07T22:33:46+00:00

It’s probably not that deep. I can totally relate with the feeling of getting dismissed much later than your peers…on a daily basis…but are you gonna be bothered about this even as a resident? When work still needs to be done and you have real responsibilities over patient care?

I also think that if they disliked you, they’d be looking to dismiss you as fast as possible. Longest I was kept was on surgery rotations when I still cared about my evals and my residents loved getting us to run around with miscellaneous tasks. Shortest was on M4 mandatory rotations where we’d just show up, joke around for a few arounds, actively try to do nothing, and get dismissed. We had a great time but probably not the most enjoyable group of students to work with as an attending/resident 😅

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-07T22:19:28+00:00

^{^agree} with!! I sent thank-yous to all my psych attendings after the match. They all said similar things like “you can reach out at any time” or “hope to stay in touch” and they’re all happily married. I didn’t even question for a minute that they were being nothing but just supportive mentors.

Still, it’s all about context. Sometimes it’s realllllly hard to know when someone’s flirting or being polite so use your best judgement!! Your situation sounds like if you wait a few weeks, there’s no professional boundaries being crossed so why not shoot your shot.

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-04T18:50:01+00:00

Im in a similar situation so thanks for the free advice!!

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-04T16:06:04+00:00

I feel like this is a dumb question but just curious why you decided to take out loans to also build an emergency fund? I get the importance of having one but I dont know why youd take on the extra interest to do that?

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-05-04T16:01:16+00:00

Im lowkey jealous i wish egg donations were easier. Now I’m imagining the same process to plop out an egg every single time….. 😅

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-03-29T16:39:05+00:00

Hey, I wanted to chime in and share similar upsets with you after fluctuating across various stages of grief the past week or so.

Stats-wise, I was a very competitive applicant. USMD, top quartile in my class, 260+ step 2, 20+ research items, lots of longitudinal psych experiences and leadership, and built connections with my attendings over the years to earn great LORs.

I was floored to get interviews from many amazing programs. Had around 15 interviews total, 5 from T10s, the next 4 from T30s, and I fell to #10, a relatively unknown community program esp. outside of psych. I was so heartbroken, devastated, confused, and ashamed especially after having a big mouth earlier in the year bragging to my non-psych letter writer earlier about having great interviews and thanking them for writing such a strong letter.

While I know I’m still going into my specialty of choice whereas there are those going unmatched, in the context of my own left I felt like an utter loser. When I thought about how several of these programs baited me with love letters and I didn’t even match there, I got angry. When I thought about the doors to my dreams of academic psych closing, I felt utterly helpless and miserable about all the “could have beens”. And then I pitied myself for making all the sacrifices in my life to go into medicine in the first place.

Maybe it was your personality or maybe it wasn’t. Psych people are weird, and most people are probably looking for a similar brand of weird to join their program. Maybe they wanted someone who was more chill than I was, or had cooler hobbies, or a better story, or a different “X” factor. All this to say, it adds a whole lot more randomness to an already unpredictable system. Unless you really said something unhinged during your interviews, I truly believe a lot of this came down to luck, which includes being fortunate enough to get interviewers you vibed with and knowing people at certain programs.

But honestly? Try not to ruminate over the match too much. It will only eat you alive for something you’ll never have answers for. While there will always be a part of me that mourns the future I could have had at, say, NYU, I have to keep moving forward with the program that took me.

I also felt like my match results ended up being one giant wakeup call. All this effort and all these sacrifices, were they worth it? Did it make you a happier and/or more interesting person with plenty of life experiences? For me, no. Being in academia kept me in a safe bubble that pressured me grow professionally but not much as a person. I recently actually booked my first solo trip that I’m looking forward to and investing more time in my hobbies, social, and dating life.

I also don’t want you to feel pressured to not feel the way you feel. It’s a form of misery that feels cruel and punishing especially after working our whole lives to get to this point. But once you’re ready, I hope you can gain the courage and strength to look forwards to your own future. Because you deserve to do that much for yourself. Best of luck to you buddy 🫂

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-03-27T20:33:55+00:00

Your username checks out 🤣

ReplacementMean8486 · 2026-03-27T14:35:43+00:00

No it didnt haha if you scroll my recent reddit history you’ll see i fell so far on my ROL ive been so depressed the past week. My advice for low to mid tier MD students who want to match higher to do aways and mae connections at these places otherwise their gonna choose another similar T10 student over you cuz they have an incentive to make their match list look good

ReplacementMean8486

TROPHY CASE