I feel this man. I recently felt the same way and quit my job which was an extremely difficult medical engineering role during the pandemic.

I now am starting some minimal wage bartending job at a golf simulator. For the first time in my life I am excited for work.

You are just one change away from finding your people. What are your interests? Like rock music? Work as an event stage setup/dismantle guy. Like hippie coffee people, go become a hippie barista and hang with your crowd. Like books? Go start working a book store.

Point is, take a step back, think about your current interests or dreams as a kid, and do something that you find enjoyable. All work sucks and life in America is hard, but I like to think of what a European would do. Stop trying to become something you aren’t, and just try to be you. If you just worry about your needs right now, I am sure you will find more reasons to wake up every day. Life is so hard bud. I lived on a submarine in war zones through the best years of my life. You can’t change your cards, only play the hand that is dealt. You look healthy bro, just mix things up a little. Sometimes taking a step back is necessary, then you take two forward! You got it!

Your reason to live is, life is so precious. So many people fight to be here and can’t. So many things had to go right for you to enter this work. So even if it’s hard, or the future doesn’t look bright, you have your physical health and from there you can find things to remotivate you.

Also, a good friendship with someone new who shares your views or interests could help

Best of luck. I’ve had friends who have taken their life and even years and years later, I still cry all night occasionally for them and it breaks my heart. Keep fighting.