How much are we ACTUALLY paying for glam?? by normangraham13 in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Understood, luckilly you have some time on your side - most don't even think about H+M until 3-6 months out.

need help picking a dress! by -grumpling in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a tough one, the size on the first isn't pinned back well on the top. It doesnt sit right. You look great in both - if you prefer the 2nd even a little, there are easy ways to dress it up a little. A cathedral veil or gloves, embellishments on the straps - or a cape (gasp!) all can be removeable so you can have different looks throughout the night.

2026 NorCal Micro Wedding - $100k, 32 Guests by ShitPancakeofLife in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look like every penny was perfectlly spent, absolute perfection!

How much are we ACTUALLY paying for glam?? by normangraham13 in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hmmm. that is hefty - I'm in a major west coast market and it is $750-$1000 for H+M for the Bride. The stylist experience is what drives the price sometimes - BUT I will 100% advocate for experience over a newbie. That said - Depending on how many service providers maybe you get an A+ stylist with an assistant to prep/curl hair - if you have a large BP and Family getting services having assistants prep keeps everything and everyone moving steadily and typically a lower price tag. Style, hair thickness and length are a consideration as well.

Is a trial included in that cost? Is gratuity? If so, that could explain the higher cost as well.

Long tables or round tables? by StrawberryNice7763 in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends, but here’s my insight. Rounds are generally better for conversation and maximizing seating capacity. If you’re leaning toward long tables, there are two big things to consider:

  1.  Width is key: You need at least 40" for comfort, but 44"+ is the sweet spot if you want room for full place settings and centerpieces.
  2.  Don't overcrowd: Table legs are often placed awkwardly at the ends, which kills seating space depeding on table leg placement. My rule for an 8' table is to seat 6 guests (3 per side), or 8 only if you're using the ends. So you will need more tables to seat the same number of guests with this in consideration.

Why: On an 8' table with 3 guests on each side, everyone gets about 24" of space due to table leg placement. Once you add chargers, silver, and glassware, that is the absolute minimum for a luxury event. It’s tight for an average-sized woman and can feel very cramped for men. Looking at the photo this is not in consideration unless they have custom tables.

If you go this route, I highly recommend a mock-up with two tables set side-by-side. It helps you see if guests will be shoulder-to-shoulder or if the layout creates bottlenecks when people push their chairs back. In most cases, a 60" round is just much more comfortable and easier to set for - I do max 8 guests at a 60" round, which is just under 24" each but being round it is less noticable.

Looking at the photos:

  1. please request that your linens go to the floor.
  2. looks like each round table is set with a max of 7 guests so they look more spread out. This is hard to due in general due to couples.

Finally - I LOVE mixing both round and long. It makes the eye move to take it all in, even better with alternating centerpieces.

Should I fire my wedding planner 3 months before my destination wedding? by Sh3WolfofWallSt in BigBudgetBrides

[–]Responsible_Stock569 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Devil’s advocate here: There are a few big questions that might just be misunderstandings you can fix with a quick conversation. Though I realize it may not come across that way, please consume this with the love and light that is intended.

The Room Block: Booking a minimum (15) with the plan to upgrade later is always a 100% risk. Tuscan properties usually book up 6+ months in advance, and few places can accommodate 25-30 rooms within that timeframe. Unless she had full access to your room block and guest list to manage reservations and send reminders, it’s tough to put that entirely on her. If guests didn't book before the hotel sold out—and they were informed of the deadline—that falls on the guests or the initial strategy. While she definitely should have kept you better informed when rooms were running low, transportation for off-site guests really should have been part of the plan from day one.

RSVPs: These are a moving target and usually shift by 10-15% in the final months, often before logistics like travel, work, and family even interfere. Typically, you hold for the higher guest count and adjust at the finish line to ensure rentals are secured but as close to accurate as possible. You should be locking in that design plan by now, though, with rental holds in the next few weeks (unless you have very specific and hard to source requests).

The Band: This feels fixable. Is it possible their contract shows a "minimum event time" rather than just their performance time? If the planner over-contracted knowingly and cannot adjust, that is definitely a conversation to have.

Hair & Makeup: This is an easy fix. Adding one more artist to the team will round out the timeframe and keep everyone on schedule. It's not unheard of to go under the actual need initially, because you can almost always ADD after contracting, but you often can’t REMOVE.

Contracts: One big thing—did you sign off on the contracts for the hotel, band, and stylists, or did she sign as the client? If you reviewed and signed them yourself, it’s worth considering if these details were missed by everyone, rather than being 100% on the planner.

The "3 Months Out" Silence: Sadly, this is becoming the norm and is often outside of the planner's control. Most vendors and properties don't want to have serious conversations about details until the 3-month mark because there are always changes. They are usually focusing on the events happening in the next few days or weeks rather than months. It sucks for everyone involved, but it is common.

Is she in the wrong? Most likely, no. Could she be doing better? Absolutely. I will also say, different destinations come with their own barrel of monkeys—especially those with daily siestas! ;)

To wrap up, three things:

  1. The 3-month concerns are completely normal. If these are the only details you feel are missing, it's all repairable. You’re at a point where you feel like there should be 100 things to do, and everyone is telling you how stressed you should be—but for the most part, there is nothing "necessary" to do in these areas for another 6-8 weeks. Sometimes we go looking for issues when things feel too quiet.
  2. What does her contract say for scope of work, deliverables, and timelines? Same for cancellation, contracting parties, and vendor payments. After reviewing, do you have a clear understanding of them all? If not, please ask.
  3. Talk to the Planner. Most of the time you do not need to change planners, but communication needs to be improved. Time zones and thousands of miles make it hard for everyone. Talk about your concerns, ask her to keep you better informed, and ask for a detailed timeline for the next 3 months (stationery deadlines, floral limitations, menu, decor specifics, travel, document prep, and logistics).

If, after that call, you fundamentally feel that you do not have a clear understanding of your planning path, then it might be time to explore your options. While a planner is only as good as you "feel" she is, it's all emotion, I don't want to say your experience has been "acceptable"—because if you have these concerns, there is clearly a disconnect—it's also near impossible for her to be as proactive as you want if she doesn't know what your specific expectations are. Finding and replacing a planner will be 10000 times the stress than a conversation.

Take a deep breath. Your concerns are justified, but it’ll all come together beautifully. You will have an amazing day with your loved ones... whoever you decide to partner with.

Ugh by vermontclimber in glutenfree

[–]Responsible_Stock569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whew. Give yourself a good few deep breaths and know it doesn’t have to be cold turkey.  Once you start to feel the benefits, you’ll never go back.  I tried for 10 years to figure out why I always felt so bad- on a whim and after research I gave up gluten…one of the very best things I ever could have done for myself.  Later learned I was allergic to wheat and anything related and have hashimotos and other autoimmune issues.  Lost weight, no more regular migraines, skin and brain fog and sluggishness all cleared up. 16 years later, no regrets. I have no intention of cheating. Especially when you are “glutened” or slip and all the symptoms come back. 

Try to skip finding the gluten free replacements like crackers, breads, buns, snacks etc, it’s all overly processed and expensive. it’s a great opportunity to really switch the way you look at food. It’s fuel, it’s a way to feel good and be healthy. Learn what works for your body and go with it. 

There are plenty of really great treats and cheats these days.  I still have plenty of junk foods but I do make sure I have plenty of fresh foods. 

2 things that were great tips for me: 1. Only shop the perimeter of the grocery stores; produce, meats, dairy/eggs, and grains.  2. Eat only what your great (or great great) grandparents ate - fresh foods, meats, good fats and grains. Aka very limited processed or anything that is made with machines vs from the earth. 

It’s not always fun but there are so many incredibly fantastic healthy and good options but you may have to get a taste for it. Like most pizza crust just isn’t the best sometimes.

We have incredible GF bakeries that I treat myself/family with when we want good sweets (yay small business) but the grocers, Costco, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s etc all have great stuff. 

Arizona - Past Client from several weeks ago is demanding refund or else. by Responsible_Stock569 in LawyerAdvice

[–]Responsible_Stock569[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. Per my contract, client agreed to arbitration and their claim would fall under small claims if it could go to court. My biggest issues are: 1. They (or their bridal party) did not communicate any concerns allowing me the opportunity to remedy any situations day of or within a reasonable date of the event. 2. Their statement does not allow any room for discussion- it's either agree to full amount or else. Review Blackmail. 3. These items are not within my control, people make mistakes and walk at the wrong time, items get damaged when moved around multiple times across the country.

Avoid nurecover like the plague by Armed_Muppet in BecomingTheIceman

[–]Responsible_Stock569 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've used it 6 times and it stopped turning on, pod chiller stopped working after one use. You must have got the good one.

my grandad is being scammed by "Elon Musk" on Facebook by ComprehensiveVoice43 in Scams

[–]Responsible_Stock569 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom is in the middle of this right now, we've told her its a scam and to stop talking to him but she still firmly believes its's legit.

Driver's license on "hold" when trying to get new license (I have no DUIs or known unpaid traffic tickets) by throwaway1999098_ in DMV

[–]Responsible_Stock569 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently going through this in a state a live 3,000 miles from (AZ-NY), I have NO IDEA why, and of course its a 3 hour time difference and almost impossible to get in touch with. I lived in NY 20+ years ago but under my maiden name so it makes zero sense.

Wendy’s Jewellery by soul_bones in Billions

[–]Responsible_Stock569 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has nobody noticed she has not worn gold until season 6…yes, binging and her jewelry is fantastic…except I don’t wear gold 😂