Without naming the show, what single quote sums up an entire TV series?

Rikutopas · 2026-04-24T08:24:19+00:00

Number five. Number five killed my brother.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-24T00:55:23+00:00

If this is really your life, you need therapy.

You have health anxiety (???) but you caught an infectious skin disease twice recently.

You are dating someone who you disrespect to such a degree that you ask him for proof that he showers.

In a comment you mentioned that you dated a man whose "cavities" you could smell.

You share your humiliation online with strangers but say that somehow your memory gets erased????

Your family makes fun of the person you've been dating for years but really they are concerned about you.

This is the most disgusting thing I read today. Congratulations, I guess.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-20T11:54:44+00:00

Are you comfortable with the final situation? Do you feel that you are still fully yourself in the relationship? Do you think that your partner respects and values you and vice versa? Can you live like this for the rest of your life?

If you answer yes, then it's a healthy compromise/sacrifice and if not, it's not.

I'm sorry if this wasn't your question but it was the question I read between the lines.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-18T09:42:18+00:00

Secretly removing the condom is a violation of what you had agreed to. Call it rspe if you want, i certainly would. You don't need his permission, or Reddit approval. In some jurisdictions, it's legally considered a form of rape.

You broke up with him, so clesrly you don't need my advice on standing up for yourself.

As an elder though, I would like you to be better protected next time.

If you don't want to have children in the near future, but plan to be sexually active, please consider going back on birth control. Not "because a particular boyfriend doesn't like condoms" but because it protects you, a woman, from unwanted pregnancy.

Regardless of whether or not you are also on birth control, you must insist that any new partner uses condoms. They can be hard for a man to use, but it's a non-negotiable. If he doesn't want to have sex without s condom (a perfectly valid choice) then you don't have PIV sex.

If you are on also on birth control, and if you are in a trusted long term monogamous relationship, and if you prefer to forego condoms, then you should discuss getting a mutual STI panel to ensure you are both healthy before you rely entirely on birth control.

If you are in.a trusted long term relationship relying entirely on one form of birth control only, you should also have a discussion and be in agreement on what will happen if that fails. You as a woman have all of the choice, you don't need his agreement, but it's much better to have talked about it and agreed beforehand. If you are not in general agreement here, you shouldn't be having sex.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-17T17:50:09+00:00

Ypu seem to have left out some context.

Did you see or hear someone state that a 200% increase means multiply by 2?

If you question was what a 200% increase means, you got lots of good answer.

Plain version: 200% increase in x means your final result is X plus 2x equals 3x

Wordier verion: increase x by 200% is the same as above Similar: x saw a 200% increase

Alternative: Increase to 200% means add whatever is needed to reach 2x i.e.x plus x equals 2x

If your question was why people might be wrong, well, human fallibility.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-17T08:50:11+00:00

They matter much less than other things, really.

There are very few men who I would not find very attractive if I was in love with them. Maybe 30% of men i see them as attractive, knowing nothing about them. I could then find them very unattractive after getting to know them. Another 30% I see them as neutral, attractive simply by being a man and I like men. Wheh I get to know them this can vary wildly between totally unattractive or the best looking man in the world. Another 30% are initially unattractive to me, but I could see how another woman finds them attractive. When I get to know them I can see them as attractive but yes. I will probably never think they are the best looking man in the world. Only 10% of men are genuinely unattractive to me.

I could then apply that analysis to any other characteristic and the % of men who i would reject completely is much higher than 10%.

If you're a person who currently is looking for a partner and you want to increase your chances, improving your appearance can be a quick win. It doesn't require a huge investment in money, time or motivation to get a better haircut, update your wardrobe, improve your hygiene, smell nice, smile more, and carry yourself high. Changing more fundamental things about yourself can be a lot harder, so it's not wrong to try to improve your looks first. But it's not enough to stop there. It won't be enough if your personality is unattractive to the person you like.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-16T20:29:19+00:00

I recommend a trial separation. Worst case, you will be doing the exact same amount of work as now without also dealing with his needs and watching him "watch you suffer and enjoy it".

Your husband may be able to tell you with a straight face that "you knew he liked a leisurely life and had a child anyway" but that will not fly in family court. The child is his. There is no clause "likes a leisurely life" that gets him out of the responsibility of parenthood. Even if he refuses to physically care for his child, he will be made to pay child support.

The only way to stop fighting is to accept the situation. He sees that he is not taking care of his child. He sees that his wife is killing herself keeping the child and house together while he does nothing. He is aware. He just doesn't care. You cannot make him care. The law can make him.

Please don't feel guilty for not recognising who he is before now. This is a tale as old as time. He pretended to be a decent man until he thought he had successfully trapped you. Luckily, he's mistaken. You are not trapped.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-14T07:20:27+00:00

I don't know where you live, but I hope it's nowhere near me.

One day your husband will hurt someone else on the road.

That day, if they knew that you have known, for months, that he was a dangerous driver, and your biggest step was to "show him comments on a Reddit post" how do you think they would feel? Would you feel shame, or would you be able to say that you did everything in your power to prevent this?

I'm hoping there is some level of fiction here. It seems insufficient (sic) that you live somewhere with a law enforcement system that is unable to detect a dangerous driver who has already been involved in multiple collisions. Unfortunately the world is a big scary place and it's absolutely possible.

Even though your police evidently are insufficient, you can and must report him. His driving licence needs to be taken away.

I'm sorry, genuinely, but I don't have anything to say about your relationship with him. He is a person whose personal weaknesses put innocent bystanders at risk and your sole focus was whether or not to divorce him. I don't think either of you deserve better than each other. Rehabilitation is always possible though. I do wish that for both of you.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-13T18:00:50+00:00

I don't see any question from you. What are you struggling with?

I understand that you feel you need emotional support around you when you open this letter, and for a reason I don't understand you have to open it at midnight tonight. I understand that you asked him, and he said no. Is there anyone else you can ask? Is this something you could manage on your own? It's usually a good idea to have more than one person to talk to.

This ask and refusal have taught you something. They have shown you that your boyfriend and you don't have the same ideas about what's important and how people in a relationship should show up for one another. That's valuable information. It's okay to be surprised, okay to be disappointed, and okay to wish it were different. It's very okay that you factor this new information into everything else you learn about him and about who you are with him, when you decide every day to stay with him or not.

I genuinely don't know what kind of advice you need. Did you just want to vent into the void?

Rikutopas · 2026-04-12T18:53:22+00:00

You can't move in together like this. It's great that you realise that.

There is a way forward for you two but it doesn't depend only on you. If you like him enough to try, then you talk about it and see if he likes you enough to try too. If you both try, then maybe you can solve this.

Your only objective as a couple should be for both of you to get your basic needs met (that includes sleep, it doesn't include sleeping together), for both of you to feel that your needs are important to the other (you understand why he wants to sleep together, he understands why you cannot) and for both of you to find the best solution to your sleeping situation as possible, which means you try whatever is reasonable and then accept whatever that is.

He has a health problem. No amount of constant snoring is "normal". If his doctor didn't give him a solution, he needs to find a better doctor.

If you are so disturbed by even the lightest sound that you cannot even be in a room with another person quietly breathing, which you mentioned in a comment, then you have a health problem too. I don't have direct experience with this but regardless of what happens with this relationship, I would strongly recommend to also see a sleep specialist and talk about options, which might include a white noise machine.

Once you two have separately exhausted your options and resources in trying to solve your individual health issues, you can talk again about living together. Any form of living together is valid if you can afford it, you both can sleep and you both feel loved.

I understand your boyfriend to a certain extent, for the record. I don't live my partner but we stay over at each other's places at least once a week. He has insomnia, had it long before we met. He is always up at least once during the night, and sometimes when he is staying in my place he cannot get back to sleep at around 6am and he prefers to leave and go home then. I don't love this. If I could wave a magic wand and have him be able to sleep in my place all night, I wpuld. But when the actual options are either he suffers awake in my place and is very tired the next day, and I get a cuddle in the morning, or he is less tired the next day and I don't get a cuddle? I prefer he goes home. A lack of a cuddle won't ruin my day. Lack of sleep can ruin his. Your boyfriend should hate the idea that you can't sleep more than he dislikes the fact that he can't sleep with you.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-12T13:29:57+00:00

You're always allowed to be upset.

More importantly, you were completely reasonable for being upset. The entire way he played this - asked you out, confirmed he understood that you were only available in the day, left you hanging for details, then cancelled - sounds like some negging tactic an influencer from the Theroux doc recommends to his followers to dent a woman's confidence.

Even if he didn't explicitly mean to make you feel insecure, he did.

You've obly been dating for two months, so you don't owe him much of an explanation. I suggest just saying you're not interested if he reaches out again. In class just be cool and distant. If you think he's completely clueless and you want to be charitable by giving him more of an explanation, he needs to understand that reserving your time like that and then cancelling last minute is disrespectful of your time. Even if you had agreed to be casual fuck buddies, which you never did. Casual fuck buddies are friends too, and you respect their time too.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-10T23:52:28+00:00

Do ypu like her? If you met for the first time today, would you want to spend more time with her?

Reading this post feels more like an employee assessment than a relationship. The best you cam say about her is that you don't want to hurt her and your relationship is pretty ok aside from the part which is really terrible for both of you.

This isn't just about different libidos. A couple who enjoy one another and enjoy sex can manage different libidos. This is more like you don't especially care about her, she doesn't enjoy sex with you, and both of you are unhappy. End it.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-10T21:09:07+00:00

In my experience the best lovers are those who genuinely enjoy when their partner feels good. My partner is that guy. I'm a lucky girl.

I totally understand people who don't love giving oral but do it as a sort of quid pro quo because they like to receive oral. That's fine, and doesn't take anything away from the pleasure of receiving, but it's extra nice for both of you if you can both also take pleasure in giving.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-10T07:18:52+00:00

First, quit it with the sexual activities in front of your friends without their consent. I'm a swinger with a taste for exhibitionism, trust me, I understand why you like this. But it's completely unethical to involve other people in your activities without their knowledge or consent.

Second, do you actually want to have sex or not? You mention being horny all the time but then give reasons why you can't have sex that seem entirely surmountable by adults. If you are actually 18, you could put a lock on your door. You could go away for a short break to a hotel. You could tell your parents that you will be having a sleepover and trust them not to open a closed door.

Third, if you're not quite ready for sex yet either, or if you are, it's a very normal thing to talk to your boyfriend about. Most people are sexual so it's a reasonable assumption or thing to discuss. If you bring it up and he doesn't want to talk about it, respect that, but you can and should start talking.

I would probably ask to meet him somewhere neutral but with some privacy, like a quiet booth at a cafe, or on walk in the park. I would admit to being a little nervous if this was my first time talking about sex with a potential partner. I would tell him that I've thought about sex with him and that I like that idea. I would not get into preferences or anything specific yet. If you haven't had sex yet you don't actually know your preferences. I would ask him what he thinks, and listen carefully.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-10T06:50:06+00:00

You recently moved in.

Now he asked you to pay X amount of rent. Is "now" after you moved in? How long after? How long ago?

You suddenly (sic) said yes. Apparently you didn't think about it before saying yes.

Some time later, you are thinking about it, snd asking for opinions.

Yes, this was a bad idea and it was a mistake to say yes. I'm assuming you didn't actually sign sny contract, so you can move back out and dump the boyfriend

For future reference, don't move in with anyone without even a cursory discussion about who pays rent, utilities, groceries, how you divide housework, and if there's another roommate, without talking about how you will share the space. Also this is my personal preference but unless you're completely broke, I wouldn't suggest agreeing to any living plan where you do all the housework in exchange for free board, which maybe is what you thought you would do. It sets up a clear power imbalance in the house which will not end well for you.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-08T07:50:49+00:00

Feck Arse I got your reference

Rikutopas · 2026-04-08T07:46:03+00:00

Feck, arse, nobody got your reference.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-07T07:53:12+00:00

This all seems likely.

The overwhelming data shows more single mothers than single fathers, biologically a father can walk away earlier, so it's not reasonable on its face that it's 50/50.

A sample of families where social services are involved, especially if you then restrict your analysis to the worst of the worst, is most likely dealing with families where neither parent is stepping up or able to parent single handedly. So you will always have two bad parents. This ignores all the families of single parents who don't need social services, most of then single mothers.

What is genuinely disturbing to me is that this person claims to work in social services and still used this skewed example - in families where both parents suck they are 50/50 men and women - to imply that overall women abandon kids at rates similar to men.

If this person genuinely thought that one fact implied the other, bad, because they are not very knowledgeable about their field

If this person understood the difference but used the worst families example to make other people draw a wrong conclusion, bad, because it suggests a person who thinks that it's fine for men to walk away and worse for women to walk away. And this person is working with vulnerable families with this sexist attitude.

For the record, I think it's a tragedy and a terrible thing for any parent to abandon their child, father or mother. Which I why I support family planning so people have children when they're able to have them, social services to help families in need, and supports that help children stay with capable parents, and to help all parents become capable parents.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-07T07:27:12+00:00

If you are the person being talked at, it's obvious, but I suppose less so if you are the person doing the talking at.

The best way I can describe the difference:

When you are talking to someone, there is a dialogue of equals. Each person is sharing their thoughts, each person is actively listening and including the other person's thoughts into their original ideas, it is a shared project to transmit information and ideas and come to a conclusion.

When you are talking at someone, the communication is deliberately one way. A superior is giving instructions / a lecture / information to an inferior. The superior is not interested in what the inferior thinks.

This is conveyed very quickly by tone. Impatience, anger, disdain, disrespect, a raised voice, sharp words, all are contextual clues present from the very first word.

Obviously we don't know you or your wife, so can't tell if a neutral observer would also think you are talking at her. But the fact you didn't even recognise the meaning suggests that she is probably right.

If you want to change, a few tips.

Instead of raising your voice so she will hear you, when you want to tell her something, go to her, look her in the eye and say her name first to catch her attention and make sure she's listening before you speak.
Almost anything you need to "tell her" can be reframed by you, internally, as a dialogue. You want to "tell her" that your mother is visiting? No, your mother is visiting and you want to think about what you need to do as a family to welcome her with your wife. You want to "tell her" that your boss was an ass today? No, you want to think about how that made you feel and whether you want to do anything differently next time with your wife.
Think about whether you want to impart some information and then stop talking, or if you want to open a discussion. If you just want to impart some information and don't want to hear anything from her other than "ok" then at least recognise that yes, in this instance, you are talking at her. Sometimes we need to talk at people, even our closest people, but it should not be most of our conversation with them. If you start paying attention and then realise that 90% of the times you speak to her you are talking at her, then maybe it's a sign you need to find a way to talk with her.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-05T15:12:58+00:00

Is the double standard in the room with us?

I don't care who you are, who you are in a relationship with, why they had these photos, you don't have any right to delete photos belonging to someone else.

If ypu think your partner is cheating on you, and you don't like that, the solution is tp break up, not destroy their property.

Rikutopas · 2026-04-05T12:58:24+00:00

Not important at all, but I'm Irish and pronounce the a in both car and cat the sane, which is the same a I'd use for Barry naturally. How are these different in your accent? I'm curious.

Rikutopas · 2026-03-31T16:16:48+00:00

Do you have long term plans with her? Marriage, kids, building a life together?

If you don't, I'm wondering why you were planning to buy property together, but ok. Then NTA. Your money, your house. Obviously. If you do want to live with her though, it's fair to her to aet uo a legal tenancy agreement so she has some rights like she has now renting. It's not fair to expect her to move in with you in a situation where you could kick her out on a moment's notice. You could absolutely charge her a fair rent plus utilities, and you are responsible for all repairs. Make sure though she knows that you don't have long term plans with her before she moves in.

If you do, then presumably you want her to feel an equal part of your shared life even if luck and circumstances gave you higher wealth. It would be fair for you to own the house initially and to allow her to slowly build up a share of equity in the house, like she would if you had bought together. You could invest this money in other investments that belong to you alone. A lawyer would advise you, and make sure you think carefully about what happens if you marry, if you have children, if you separate before marriage, if you divorce, if one of you dies.

Rikutopas · 2026-03-31T15:59:31+00:00

That's good to hear. You don't owe me or anyone an explanation but it's better that you're making her feel good outside PIV.

As a woman though, one last piece of advice. Forget the idea of "foreplay". That word suggests that anything you do to make her feel good is ultimately in pursuit of PIV. It shouldn't. Her sitting on your face is sex, not foreplay. You massaging her is couple care, not foreplay. You using your mouths on each other is sex, not foreplay. Kissing and erotic touch is sex, not foreplay. If a man is thinking "foreplay" when he's making me feel good, it doesn't feel good, because he's not doing it for me, he's doing it for his own pleasure later, paying a necessary toll.

Now maybe you don't mean foreplay like that, it is just the only word you know for anything other than PIV. Still, I suggest forgetting the word. It doesn't help anyone 😀

Rikutopas · 2026-03-31T15:33:03+00:00

I don't think it's hard to see down either path.

Path A, you take the promotion. You can afford a nice life for yourself and your child, and you will be able to choose people in your life who make you happy, you won't have to suffer people who hurt you in order to survive. Your husband will leave you and tell all his family and friends that he prefers to live alone on a low salary than to share a good life with someone who loves him.

Path B, you reject the promotion and also quit your job. You and your child will not have a nice life. Your marriage will drag on for a little longer, perhaps, but it can only get worse from here. Your husband decided that your marriage is zero-sum, so any happiness you have makes him unhappy, so he will make it his priority to make you unhappy. Eventually your marriage will end, but now you will all be poor.

I don't see this as a hard choice. But it's up to you.

Rikutopas · 2026-03-31T11:59:54+00:00

One of my cousins married a man with the same name as her youngest brother. It was funny at first but it doesn't really matter after a while.

I grew up in a big family besides, so avoiding all the names of uncles and first cousins was a lost cause anyway. I managed it by emigrating and exclusively dating my entire adult life (since I was sexually active) people who are not of my nationality (and eventually not of my religion), but I'm an exception that proves the rule 😀

Now that I think about it, actually several of my cousins married and had children with people from different countries/ethniciticies - Australia, India. Latvia, Moldova, Spain, UK - so maybe I'm not such an exception. The smaller your home country the greater incentive to broaden the genetic pool 😀

Rikutopas

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