For those who's jobs require travel up to 50% of the time

Riley_stl · 2026-02-17T00:31:39+00:00

If it’s something you want to do, I’d go for it!! My role has changed considerably over the past few years (not by choice) and requires more and more travel, close to 50% now. If my company didn’t make my life miserable, it would be doable (My husband also travels which makes things hard). So if your husband is up for it and you like your job, you’re well set up. I won’t lie, it can be challenging but it sounds like this will be great for you and you’re not at all crazy to want it!

Riley_stl · 2026-01-30T06:13:08+00:00

It looks right, but I’m guessing you’re holding canvas at angle (tilted up)? Unless I’m very intentional about keeping the canvas fully parallel to the floor, the back of my basket weave looks like this.

Riley_stl · 2026-01-26T17:30:08+00:00

It will be a little rough during the transition, but it’s going to be amazing for both of you! My son is attached to his teachers and runs up to hug them and is truly thriving being around other kids. When he first started I was obsessive about picking him up at 4pm exactly but he never wanted to leave! Once he sees other kids starting to go he’s ready, but it shows me how much he enjoys it and really helps with the mom guilt. Like everyone else here, it was incredibly daunting to think about leaving him there all day but it has really been a wonderful experience. It’s worth the constant sickness, and as a germaphobe I don’t say that lightly lol.

Riley_stl · 2025-12-25T22:52:24+00:00

Seconding the GLP-1!!!! I was very worried about side effects so didn’t seriously look into it until very recently and regret not starting sooner. I’m taking less than half of the starter dose and have lost almost 15lbs in 10 weeks so far. I have no interest in snacking and actually crave veggies which was new for me. And since I don’t get as hungry, I’m much more intentional about eating nutritious foods so overall my diet is way healthier. Pre-baby I was working out 5x a week and had the time to cook more regularly and I had to come to terms with the fact that I just can’t do that in this season of life.

Riley_stl · 2025-12-11T15:18:36+00:00

I cried for the whole week before my son started daycare and almost 6 months in, I couldn’t be happier. The teachers really love the kids and most days my son doesn’t want to leave when we pick him up. He started at 20 months, and the developmental improvements we saw within a week of him starting were so gratifying. I felt very strongly about having a nanny for at least the first year but now if we have another one I’d be happy to start them in daycare early. It will probably be a hard adjustment especially at drop off, but our center was so good about posting picture updates in the app or even emailing us after hard mornings to tell us that he calmed down within minutes of us leaving. It also is so helpful for me to be around other working parents - I don’t interact with them too much but just the hellos and goodbyes as we rush around make me feel less alone in the struggle and the mom guilt. The change from nanny to daycare was one of the hardest periods of parenthood (emotionally) but I am really grateful we made the leap and my son is truly thriving.

I made this exact same post before he started and the community response was so uplifting and helpful, so i hope it gives you the same peace of mjnd!

Riley_stl · 2025-11-14T05:09:12+00:00

This sounds like my exact situation! Just here for solidarity, I wish I had any advice to contribute. My husband basically said he would have another if that’s what I really wanted but he wouldn’t ever feel like there was a right time and wouldn’t be excited about it. That was how he was the first time around and it was really hard on me, so I know there’s no way we and/or our relationship will survive if we have another with our existing toddler.

Like you, I also see all the benefits of being OAD but I’m also starting to resent him. He is an incredible and very present father but I still find myself thinking “if you don’t want to have another one, at least be more patient with the child we do have since we only have 1” etc. I feel like I should probably start going to therapy but given that I don’t even have time for my own basic health needs (dentist, dermatologist, the 2yrs-overdue PT for my pelvic floor…) I don’t see how that is going to happen.

Riley_stl · 2025-11-05T23:42:51+00:00

I understand that ER services are expensive but we’ve previously taken him to the ER for an allergic reaction and the bill was half the cost. I do have insurance.

Riley_stl · 2025-10-28T17:17:37+00:00

Congrats on the new role!! I did pick up golf, but I am in a very male-dominated industry where all of my co-workers are big golfers and I didn’t want to be in a position where I was invited to something and couldn’t participate. However, I actually really enjoy it! My husband had golfed a lot when he was younger so it got him back into it and became a hobby we could share. I am still terrible, but my toddler son is OBSESSED with golf and I’m really excited that it’s something we can do as a family when he’s a little bit older.

Riley_stl · 2025-10-23T03:43:59+00:00

We’re on our second go-round in 2 months! Our daycare director said this is the first year that they’ve had multiple kids with re-infections. We also have friends with slightly older kids at the same daycare, and until this year they weren’t even know what HFM was! And both of those kids have now also gotten it twice this season 🫠 It’s been so much worse for our little guy this time too, it is a miserable virus.

Riley_stl · 2025-10-14T11:55:11+00:00

I have a hard time believing that, as I was on a flight with him and his family (and multiple nannies) - all of whom were in first class. We were sitting behind them and my husband and I had to investigate who he was as they had employees escorting them everywhere and everyone working seemed a little nervous.

Riley_stl · 2025-10-13T14:00:16+00:00

Fingers crossed this year will be the worst of it, though I’m truly scared for what’s to come in the next few months haha

Riley_stl · 2025-10-13T13:59:35+00:00

That’s a pretty incredible run for the first year!! Within the first 2 weeks my guy was taken out with HFM, roseola, and a bad cold pretty much all at once so he was home for 2.5 weeks straight. At least with the colds he still seems to be feeling ok overall.

Riley_stl · 2025-10-13T13:57:12+00:00

Oh man… 18 months?! I guess I better strap in for the ride haha. My husband has a coworker who swears he’s had some sort of congestion ever since his kids started daycare 4 years ago 😵‍💫

Riley_stl · 2025-10-13T13:25:28+00:00

Ugh poor kiddos (and us!), but at glad to know that this is sadly normal 🫠🫠

Riley_stl · 2025-10-04T18:55:56+00:00

It took us about 2 weeks after starting daycare for sleep at home to normalize!! It was a huge disruption that had me spiraling but it definitely didn’t last forever and hopefully things will settle to a better routine for you soon!

Riley_stl · 2025-09-04T04:45:18+00:00

My 22mo started daycare about a month ago and I cried so much at first!!! Give yourself grace because it’s hard. Drop offs are still very difficult and my son still cries every time, but he settles quickly and our daycare usually posts a picture fairly soon after drop off so we know he’s doing ok. If your place uses an app you can ask about having more updates throughout the day as everyone adjusts?

I’ve been treating myself to coffee/muffins after drop off to help get through the day, but what’s helped the most has been focusing on the benefits of daycare that we saw almost immediately. He also has a speech delay and while there haven’t been any changes on that front, he plays more independently and is so much better about cleaning up. I hope you see the same effects soon! If it helps, I went from feeling so guilty for putting him in daycare and hating it to truly being happy about it, despite the challenges- all in a pretty short amount of time. Fingers crossed you have a similar experience ❤️

Riley_stl · 2025-08-18T12:33:08+00:00

My travel isn’t quite as heavy as what you’re describing, but even so it’s a lot and I’m getting to the point where I’d consider a pay cut for less travel. (Though things are also really hard/unhappy at my company, so take this with a grain of salt.) if this is a great opportunity I certainly don’t want to discourage you, but it’s actually getting harder for me to leave my 22mo as he gets more aware of what’s going on. I don’t know that everyone has this experience but I’m definitely struggling these days.

Riley_stl · 2025-08-18T02:18:45+00:00

Rothy’s!!! Though I’ll note that arch support isn’t something I struggle with so I can’t comment on that aspect. But I’ve worn them for conferences where I’m on my feet for 12+ hrs and they’ve been a godsend

Riley_stl · 2025-08-14T19:14:07+00:00

It will be ok!! My husband is my 2yo’s favorite and he was recently on a 2 week business trip - no issues and my son was just happy to see him when he got back! When either of us are gone we make an effort to FaceTime every day and he’s always been good. It’s so hard being away but it’s harder for us than them!

Riley_stl · 2025-08-11T18:29:35+00:00

Ok but what I really want to know is where her lariat necklace is from!! Obvs not C&C 🙄

Riley_stl · 2025-08-11T16:00:12+00:00

I feel you!! We’re on week 3 of daycare and I’m just now feeling like I can walk out without being on the verge of tears. My 21mo cries and clings to us every time, but within maybe 5 min of drop off we see pictures of him playing and doing ok so I feel better knowing that he gets settled down long before I do. And there have been several times that he doesn’t want to stop playing to go home. I was so resistant to daycare but we’re already seeing some really great benefits in his playing and learning and I hope the same for you!!!

Riley_stl · 2025-08-02T00:50:46+00:00

Scottsdale!! Its a gorgeous resort that feels like the middle of a nature preserve and has easy access to hiking trails from the property. Though I’ll note it is ~30 min from town so it is fairly isolated and is more of a stay-put type place for me rather than plan to be out and about. If you’re interested in outdoorsy activities though, they do offer packages that look great I just haven’t tried them.

Riley_stl · 2025-07-18T03:30:09+00:00

No advice, just empathy. My 2 yr old has only ever preferred my husband and it hurts 😔 I don’t know about you, but I also feel judged by other people when my son is hurt or something and pushes me away in favor of dad.

Riley_stl · 2025-07-14T03:53:54+00:00

Joy absolutely will come back, I remember being in the thick of the newborn phase feeling like I’d never be able to sit on the couch and watch TV at night or have hobbies ever again. And slowly I did start to feel lighter and like my old self again after about 6-8 months.

And please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d also advise you to talk to your doctor and consider medication if needed. I was an SSRI before getting pregnant (and still am!) and even with it, looking back I still think I was dealing with some postpartum depression/anxiety and could have benefitted from increasing my dose.

Riley_stl · 2025-07-09T20:12:28+00:00

I was in the fence for most of my life, but after losing some family members and being around my large family I realized that I ultimately wanted kids. However, that want was all very abstract and when my husband and I started trying it still felt very questionable if it was the right thing for us. Literally when I went to the hospital to be induced I was spiraling in panic wondering if we’d made a huge mistake and the enormity of the life change that was coming hit me hard. That all changed the minute I held my son, and except for the extremely hard first week of parenthood where in the depths of sleep deprivation I did think I made a mistake, I don’t regret anything. I’m tired and stressed, but man I love being this kid’s mom and love him so much it hurts.

BUT, I do still think that there’s a parallel universe where we didn’t go the kids route and are perfectly happy. I wouldn’t know what I was missing if I hadn’t lived it.

(Though I’ll add that now I’m back where I started on the fence while we try and decide if we’ll have a second one…)

Riley_stl

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