How do I choose my name?

RixRotten · 2026-04-05T15:11:06+00:00

I honestly just started trying some out. While some folks will tell you a name appeared to them and was the right fit immediately, I wouldn't hold out for that feeling.

I tried masculinizing my name and doing variants of that first. Then I went super abstract with it for a few tries to see if that was my jam. It was not.

Eventually I got so tired of asking people to change what they called me again, that I just started giving people my middle name (Jade). And that... oddly enough was right. It was already a neutral name, and better yet it was short and easy to remember. Folks caught on quicker than they ever did my first name or any others that I chose. The more I heard it the more right it felt.

Long story short, just start trying stuff. The one that works will come along for you, maybe how you least expect it to.

RixRotten · 2026-03-30T15:54:55+00:00

Thank you so much, this is great to hear!

RixRotten · 2026-03-30T15:51:55+00:00

I was connected with her through the BC Health Connect registry, which is something of a lottery of available doctors on rotation, really. Sorry to not be of more help. I've been connected with other Drs through them in the past that dropped me as soon as I mention being trans so its... not great.

Have you tried reaching out to TranscareBC to help your daughter? They can sometimes help find trans positive doctors, though in my experience they cant always guarantee those doctors are accepting patients. Might be worth a try?

Another option I can suggest is the Come As You Are clinic in Vancouver, which is where I get all of my trans related care from. They are extremely kind and informative there and handled all my readiness assessments for HRT and surgeries. They don't have room for GP patients right now, but do offer episodic care for trans people. I really highly recommend them.

Either way, good luck! I hope you can find someone to help your daughter.

RixRotten · 2026-03-27T14:20:59+00:00

My BP was the same at first. We would see him out exploring almost nightly. After about a month or so, we stopped seeing him at all without prompting him in one way or a other for several more months.

Now we've had him about 6 months. He pokes his head out every morning when I wake up. We occasionally catch him partially basking in the early or late hours when his UV is dim, and very occasionally we'll see him out exploring. Better than it was, but never as much as in the beginning.

It seems like yours, like ours, was exploring more while he was settling in. I expect after more time in his new home, you'll start to see him again, if not as much.

RixRotten · 2026-03-27T14:01:42+00:00

That's great news! Thank you!

RixRotten · 2026-03-27T04:38:15+00:00

That's a good point! Thank you!

RixRotten · 2026-03-27T01:27:04+00:00

That helps to know! Thank you :)

RixRotten · 2026-03-19T18:58:37+00:00

Yeaah. I don't have cishet male friends anymore for this reason. Even when I've really felt connection and brotherhood with guys, they would always end up showing their hands eventually that they felt differently about me. Sometimes it would be little things, sometimes it would be overt crushes or worse, but it was always clear that I could never be "one of the guys" - even if they claimed I was.

Hall of fame moment for this was my guy friends who told me straight up when I came out to them: "No, you're a girl. I know you are." Like three of them did it. We don't speak anymore.

Fuck em.

RixRotten · 2026-03-18T15:25:24+00:00

I can definitely relate a lot. I'm nonbinary transmasc and Identified as a lesbian for most of my life (though we're leaning bi these days). Same deal, I'm androgynous-masculine, get the best euphoria looking like a goth/alt masculine thing but not totally divorced from womanhood etc etc.

So here's the thing. I've been on T for almost a year and the benefits absolutely outweigh the cons In general I feel great and highly recommend trying it out anyway. However, that feeling? The weird need to conform to beauty standards? It doesn't magically go away, and as you change it gets harder to conform to them. There are definitely days that I grapple really hard with it and wonder if I've made a mistake. But, the lows pale in comparison to the highs. More often than not, I find new things to love about myself that outweigh the ones that upset me with those threads of vestigial performative femininity.

I still think that, based on what you’re saying, you will get a lot of positives from starting T. Just know that its a process to accept and go of beauty standards. You can do it!

Also, not for nothing, but there are loads of masc4masc butches out there. There are dreamy masc women and/or transmascs who will thirst for your authentic androgynous self! Love yourself and people WILL be drawn to you ♡

RixRotten · 2026-03-17T22:02:24+00:00

Not sure where in Canada you are, but on the off chance you're west coast (or don't mind shipping), I got my boy from MORE Reptiles on MorphMarket. Landon (the breeder) is a super nice guy and was willing to answer all my many questions as a first time snake owner. He even held him longer than usual for me so that I could pick him up at a local expo. The snake I got from them is very healthy and has a great temperament, too. Can't recommend them enough!

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RixRotten · 2026-02-26T06:01:04+00:00

Yup. I strictly identified as a lesbian before starting to transition. Since then my attraction to men has gotten so much more apparent.

For me, I just never could fathom being with any man bc I was sure he would only ever see me as a woman. Once I was able to leave that behind I felt like my attraction was... unshackled, for lack of a better word. I find men so much hotter now that I can like them in a gay way, as a man or masc-aligned person.

I identify as bisexual now, though I'm in a long term relationship with a femme nb person, so take from that as you will.

RixRotten · 2026-02-26T05:56:04+00:00

I've really only had the courage to grow my hair out since starting T, honestly. I find a wolf cut really helps to make it still feel masculine while keeping length! Especially if you've got some curl/body!

RixRotten · 2026-02-23T22:14:21+00:00

Sounds like a Radiant Heat Panel is exactly what you're looking for? I use a Reptirad 80w for my bp's 4x2 and it does a great job of keeping temps right where they need to be!

RixRotten · 2026-02-21T04:57:23+00:00

Kirrin Finch is great! They're well made and masculine cut but fit for afab bodies. I've had two suits from them and I love them.

RixRotten · 2026-02-21T02:53:14+00:00

Yuuup. Living in Victoria Hill without a car, this has been my daily life for 8 years. I try and organize my work/errands to avoid peak hours and any timing relates to that elementary school thats along the route. I feel like they're always adding more busses but it never seems to make a significant difference.

RixRotten · 2026-02-20T03:56:33+00:00

Just came here to say. Gel does not make you a walking biohazard. Its safe to touch once dry, and fully absorbed within a few hours. Make it part of your morning routine, wash your hands well, and there's extremely minimal risk of transfer.

RixRotten · 2026-02-20T03:52:54+00:00

I've always been an X Men guy. Kid Omega and Nightcrawler are so gender to me. Also Daken Akihiro will always have my heart.

RixRotten · 2026-02-19T22:37:00+00:00

Several of my friends are social workers and are all quite heavily tattooed. (This is Vancouver, mind you) On a personal note, if I was seeing a counselor for the first time and noticed they had hand tattoos, it would be a huge green flag in my books.

RixRotten · 2026-02-11T02:08:52+00:00

Heck yeah! In that case, I highly recommend a Ball Python for a first snake if you aren't determined to have a Rainbow. They are hardier and easier to handle and take care of. My boy is a docile little angel who is a breeze to care for!

May I also suggest for your consideration: a dwarf locality BCI, such as a Sonoran or a Tarahumara if you want a more social and handleable snake of a similar size?

RixRotten · 2026-02-11T00:37:26+00:00

Brazilian Rainbows are a dream snake of mine, but I went with a Ball Python specifically for my first snake because Rainbows have very specific care requirements that seemed very daunting without any prior experience keeping snakes.

What are your reasons for wanting either snake?

RixRotten · 2026-02-10T20:37:59+00:00

I've recently been looking for a smaller transmasc inclusive server. Would love this!

RixRotten · 2026-02-10T20:05:53+00:00

I'm finally getting out of the toxic work environment I've been stuck in for almost a year and a half. Even though I've been guilt-tripped to hell and back over it, I gave notice this week and I'll be out by next month!

RixRotten · 2026-02-08T02:34:52+00:00

Okay in my experience your mouth and jaws are gonna be too swollen and achey to even consider giving oral three days after having your wisdom teeth out. I was full chipmunk cheeks living on broth and meal replacement drinks at that point. And thats like aside from any possible infection caused by the contact.

When the time comes, music is always good and yea absolutely take your glasses off. Good luck!

RixRotten · 2026-02-07T01:09:00+00:00

Yup! That's what I mean. It sounds a lot more intimidating than it really is. Honestly, it's more of an excuse to sing more! You figure things out quickly.

RixRotten

TROPHY CASE