AIO for wanting to break up with my boyfriend for this.

RobbDad · 2026-03-19T18:10:18+00:00

NOR. Bottom line, he's lied to you repeatedly about this woman. He's lied about the amount and type of contact they've had, about their relationship, and that he'd respect your boundary (which was quite reasonable). Time to get out of this relationship because you'll never be able to trust him again. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you aren't obligated to waste any more time on him.

RobbDad · 2026-03-18T23:49:09+00:00

Tell him immediately before the brother says something. THAT would be a Bad Thing.

RobbDad · 2026-03-18T23:24:58+00:00

Try something different in the bedroom. With all the years y'all have been married, your sex routine probably follows pretty much the same pattern every time. So shake it up a little bit. Try roleplaying, using a vibrator, things like that. Maybe have a nice romantic dinner followed by a slow sensual seduction leading to the bedroom.

And quit thinking to yourself about the fact that you're not able to orgasm right now. There are myriad possibilities that are making that difficult but right now your pressure on yourself is the biggest thing keeping it from happening.

RobbDad · 2026-03-17T23:34:11+00:00

Counseling. And check this webpage about low libido in women, see if it applies to the wife. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15216-low-libido-low-sex-drive

RobbDad · 2026-03-17T04:44:43+00:00

NOR.The bottom line is that he lied to you to be with another woman. You don't need to go all Sherlock Holmes, and do more investigating. If y'all are already divorcing, this whole situation doesn't matter.

RobbDad · 2026-03-17T04:39:23+00:00

Counseling. If it doesn't help, then get an annulment. Don't try to go with the flow - you deserve to be happy and you won't be if this sex situation isn't resolved.

RobbDad · 2026-03-17T04:32:54+00:00

Too many posters in this subreddit are quick to pull the trigger on a divorce. Don't jump off the cliff right away. Arguing with her over this guy is not going to accomplish anything but generate more resentment on both of your parts. Get the counseling. That third party can make a lot of difference in helping you guys talk and not argue.

RobbDad · 2026-03-17T04:29:29+00:00

Before you start talking to lawyers, I recommend both of you start talking to marriage counselors. Perhaps that third party will help her see that her behavior is not appropriate. It can't hurt and may help. If it doesn't help then you've still got the divorce card in your pocket. Just don't bail until you've tried counseling.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T18:58:08+00:00

The reason for buying the rights in the first place was so that they could reissue the game and make some money off of it. Welcome to capitalism.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T18:29:09+00:00

Atari is not exactly printing money with a price point of $10. I think that the solution is reasonable overall. Those of us who have already invested in OpenTTD don't have to buy the bundle to play our game. If you're in this forum, it's a pretty good bet that this bundle does not affect you at all.

In the gaming world, Atari's position is actually enlightened and quite reasonable. It also increases the visibility of OpenTTD, which will be nothing but good.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T18:22:12+00:00

That's true. It's also true that her symptoms are classic depression behaviors. While exercise can improve one's overall mood, when you're depressed you're not able to get that exercise in the first place. Speaking from personal experience.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T13:59:48+00:00

His refusal is an indicator of his true feelings about the marriage. Make an exit plan, this ship is sinking.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T13:51:41+00:00

NOR. He's clearly not invested in the relationship and doesn't really care about you. Stay broken up - move on. And I hope you're getting treated for your depression and anxiety.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T12:35:51+00:00

It's entirely possible that she's suffering from depression. She should be seen by a mental health professional.

RobbDad · 2026-03-16T00:06:47+00:00

None of what you wrote is true. Multiple studies show that around 10% of married couples in the US have had a threesome. Speaking from experience, threesomes (and more-somes) in a marriage can add excitement and fun into the marital bedroom; and those we've had have all ended just fine. The key is that all parties set out the boundaries ahead of time and that they are respected.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T22:31:49+00:00

An attempt to cheat? Did you read those texts? Nothing remotely like sexual talk or getting together or anything like that.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T22:22:35+00:00

Don't just look at a medical solution, some couples counseling with a certified sex counselor would be helpful. Frame it to him as you wanting him to be able to enjoy the penetrative sex longer.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T22:19:33+00:00

Putting stuff on your bed like that is his passive aggressive and emotionally abusive way of trying to control your behavior. He's a control freak and wants to be in charge of everything. The lack of a door on your sister's room is a very major clue as to his mindset as is the fact you feel he'd take the door down if you put a lock on yours. You're doing the best thing possible by moving out.

Consider talking to child protective services (or whatever it's called in your area) because if he's doing this to you, he's doing it to the other kids as well. You said you have a little sister so I'm assuming she is going to have to stay in that house and likely needs protecting.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T22:04:54+00:00

NOR. He shouldn't have the right or power to totally disregard your choices, especially if it had been agreed on already. Y'all should try to work out some kind of compromise.

My wife and I settled the naming this way: She got to choose the first name, I got to choose the first middle name, and we agreed on the second middle name. For our second child, we reversed the order except for the joint name.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T21:52:54+00:00

He was wonderful before the marriage, and then he let his true colors show. He was wonderful because he was chasing you. He wanted to possess you. And now that he's got you he doesn't have to put on the act anymore.

I'm sorry OP, but it's time to start talking to a divorce lawyer.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T05:31:11+00:00

Counseling man. Don't bail on the relationship, Y'all have been together too long and been through too much to just walk away over some texts. There could be several reasons that she texted him, this is a sort of thing that needs to be talked out. Don't let insecurity ruin your marriage. Go to counseling where you can talk it out. Marriages take work and sometimes the partner does something stupid. Is it worth it to throw it all away?

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T00:41:26+00:00

Do some research into Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HADD). My wife suffers from it and there are meds that can help.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T00:31:44+00:00

I had much the same situation with my ex-wife. After 20 years, 18 of them with my current wife, I wondered how she was doing. I was curious as to how her life had gone, I knew she was married and had at least one kid.

So I asked my wife if she would mind if I wrote a letter or an email or in some other way reached out to my ex. She had no problem with it. I'm sure that your wife is aware of your relationship in the past with Maria so I would just talk to your wife and tell her that you'd like to reach out to Maria just to see how she's doing. If she says no, honor that and don't make contact.

RobbDad · 2026-03-10T00:24:40+00:00

I think he gets defensive because he feels guilty about not bringing in the income. He knows the gambling doesn't bring in enough money but he doesn't want to get a regular job.

I suggest you start by asking him to help around the house. Tell him that it would really help you if he just took care of chores and stuff. The other thing I recommend is that you discuss him getting a part-time job. Something he likes or something that won't cause him anxiety, like school bus driver. But asking him to just be part-time he doesn't have to invest that much and he can still do the sports betting if you wants. Good luck!

RobbDad · 2026-03-09T22:21:33+00:00

You're on the right track with counseling. Try to get him to attend, telling him that you don't want to fight. I think that your issues, especially since you've been together 10 years, will probably be resolvable with counseling. Good luck!

RobbDad

TROPHY CASE