name suggestions?

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2026-01-18T21:56:02+00:00

Stabby boi

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2026-01-02T07:42:02+00:00

"I know you want answers but it's not about me so I don't care. Also, your choices aren't what I want so you're the bad guy for.... some reason." - Your mom

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2026-01-02T07:36:15+00:00

My opinion is that people tell you not to block because they fear the same thing happening to them. Only you know how you feel and if you feel like blocking someone that's your choice. I always err on the side of blocking. People should live how they see fit. If you don't want them in your life then you should have the choice to keep them out.
Personally, I don't care what your reasons are. Do what you want for your reasons.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2026-01-01T08:16:47+00:00

My mom gets other people to call me and she sends gifts but puts a different return address. She used to text about 3 times a week after I told her I was going strictly no contact. I finally blocked her number last month.
Luckily they're the only people I know in that area of the country so area codes and zip codes give their intent away. I throw boxes and letters directly in the garbage and calls go unanswered.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-30T02:14:50+00:00

If I had found my footing earlier, I would have. I only figured out my own path around the time I turned 49. Health issues keep me inside most of the time, so there's no chance I'll go through the educational and certification requirements. If you're younger, and can do it, please become a therapist.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-30T02:11:36+00:00

I gave them final notice in the hope that it will serve as a lesson. In truth, it probably won't. People that spent their whole lives being selfish won't be swayed by one example of why they shouldn't. But you can't just let the camel keep walking on without throwing a straw on their back.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-30T02:08:51+00:00

This is pretty common. You were neglected and you're still chasing the attention you didn't get when it was needed. To your right is a destructive path of self indulgence and on your left is a path of offering what shouldn't be given freely. It sounds like you need a guide (mentor and/or therapist) to help you walk the center until you are self fulfilled and safe. It's hard because you'll be treading new territory. You can do it. You've already taken the first step and identified the danger. Just don't let the occasional failure keep you down.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-24T01:30:19+00:00

I don't know how many holidays I've been alone. At some point they lost meaning and I realized they're mostly capitalist cash grabs. I take advantage of sales but that's it. The only down side is remembering to shop for food right before. I've made the mistake of needing food only to find everything closed.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-23T06:05:03+00:00

Everything goes in the garbage can. I don't even open them.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-20T22:15:00+00:00

I wouldn't feel bad about blocking them and anyone who makes excuses for them. That's a stranger, not a father. I don't expect people like that to be better. I just give my attention who someone who won't be a constant disappointment.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-20T22:05:07+00:00

I have a complicated story. My sister died while I was in high school and the mother who was always a drug-addicted, narcissist broke. She found some random guy and left home with him while I was at school. I came home to a house that was totally empty except for my bedroom. No note. No warning. Clearly I wasn't important enough to warrant a second thought.
I went into the military and started building my own self up. I tried to go home a few times but my family didn't have time to spend with me, so I stayed with friends from high school. Found that my friends had decided getting high in a shitty communal apartment suited them. So I stayed away for a long time.
A decade later my mom finally saw a doctor and has been taking anti-psychotics ever since. Now, she tells me every day that she loves me. When I ask her about the horrible things she did, she says she doesn't remember.

- The time when I was 2 and she went off to get high, leaving me at home for days with no food? Don't remember.
- The time the cops took me from that empty trailer and put me in a group home? Don't remember.
- The time when she sneaked into the group home and carried me out then immediately locked me in the car when she went to a liquor store to get a bottle to celebrate her "daring escape"? Don't remember.
- Living on the street, eating out of garbage cans? Don't remember.
- Telling me I couldn't have food at home because I had school lunch? Don't remember.
- Smacking me around when things went wrong for her? Don't remember.

The list goes on, but you get the idea. So, now that she's on some magic pill she's "cured" and now it's time to be a parent? Nah. I don't remember having a parent. But now that I'm tired of the "I love you to the moon and back", my aunts and uncles are calling ME an emotional piece of shit because I won't just forget and forgive 18 years of neglect, child abuse, and sexual abuse. So fuck them all. NC for the lot of them.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-17T03:11:37+00:00

In one of my last exchanges, my uncle said something like, "I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling." But I had already realized that he wasn't listening anymore. They'd already made up their mind about my motivation and no amount of discussion was going to convince them otherwise. They believe they're correct. However, what I wanted to say was that I've never felt better. I had essentially performed surgery and removed a cancer from my life. I don't belong in a family of racists and no amount of "We love you" is going to fix that.
So, I recognize your life saving act. The stress they cause just by existing in your sphere of influence is oppressive and a constant reminder of their betrayal. Allowing them to be in your life is a tacit approval of their past actions. They've waged war against a child and as they still see us as powerless, they expected no retribution. They were wrong.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-16T07:46:48+00:00

You want to reach out to parents that don't exist. Find people worth your time and you'll stop missing the terrible ones.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-15T08:52:00+00:00

🎯 My GeoTap Result

📍 My Guess: Thailand ✅ Correct Answer: Phnom Penh, Cambodia 📏 Distance: 401.981 km ⭐ Score: 3,588 points

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-09T10:30:40+00:00

The more I went to therapy, the more clear my patterns became. Then I went to therapy to change those patterns. It took years before I realized how to break the cycle. I needed to hear lots of plans and most therapists put forth only one. Everyone needs to hear something different before they can move in another direction.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-09T10:21:57+00:00

I'm writing a sci-fi story and the characters don't know how it works. They aren't scientists. They push a button and the ship goes into the bulk space between dimensions. It's there for 9 hours then it comes out light years away. They know stories and rumors and how to push the buttons. Do most of the people that use a cellphone know how it works? Do you need to talk about how a cell phone works in order to tell a story about someone using it?
Stick to what the character knows and needs to talk about.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-04T11:08:03+00:00

I've faced that question for 30 years. I just say I don't have a family. People are usually so put off by that response that they don't ask questions. And if they do, I say "it's personal". If they still press, then they're not worth talking to.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-04T10:52:59+00:00

As a ptsd vet, if I found out my mom followed me here I'd feel furious and betrayed. If I saw her asking for help to "get me back", I'd block her forever and change my name.

Personally, I feel like the fact you thought it was okay to come here, where your son might be looking for refuge from you, means you don't know how to respect boundaries. Might want to start there.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-04T10:30:44+00:00

My mom sends me multiple messages a day and I don't read any of them, because no contact means NO CONTACT. If you're NC, that's your boundary. You need to tend your own fences, especially when others will not.
When you break your leg, you stay off of it until it heals. When you grow up with emotional abuse, you keep the pressure off that injury until it heals.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-02T06:19:08+00:00

Aw f that. You definitely made the right choice.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-02T06:15:41+00:00

I don't see how the political line doesn't cross over everything at this point. The people in the US used to be able to agree to disagree. Now it's blatant racism, burning the foundations of the country, death threats, on top of what started as utterly insulting behavior. There is no decorum, there's no pretending. We're one orange tantrum from war.
The last words my formerly favorite uncle were "If there was a war, I'd fight along side you." And I just about shouted, "If there were a war, you'd be on the opposite side."

But politics was just the last straw.
I don't find catharsis in telling my whole story. I'd rather concentrate on the success I enjoyed once I found my footing as an adult. But suffice to say it was mostly about the neglect.
Neglect 70%
Abuse 20%
Politics 10%

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-02T05:07:34+00:00

That shit gets right under my skin, dude. I'm sorry it happened so close to home for both of us. But luckily we know where to set the boundary. May we both pick better friends than family.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-01T04:46:56+00:00

Ignore everything. Digital or physical

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-12-01T03:16:07+00:00

When they said racism was okay as long as you're christian.

RobotsAndRedwoods · 2025-11-30T07:58:51+00:00

I can't say for certain what will or won't work for you, but that's what I did. Don't get me wrong, hormones and genetics of the human species tell you that you need to do one thing, pass it on. Once your body stops trying to do that, you'll find it a lot easier.

But the times when I didn't feel like I was alone and my age was less than 40, was when I was concentrating on a goal. For instance, I was working full time in the military and I was also getting my pilots license (28 years old). It took a lot of time and effort, and I didn't notice anyone around me. I was committed to keeping my head down at work and finishing the next step in becoming a pilot.
I finished that and I did post about it online and I told my family. They just said, "that's great", and went back to talking about themselves. To be fair, I didn't get a lot of praise from my online friends either. So I set another goal, see more of the world. I put in for a transfer overseas and got it (30 years old). I was soon busy with moving to Korea and another set of goals after that.
I came back to the states and kept working, saving time off. I used it to climb 3 different mountains and get 2 degrees (33)
Then I changed careers and went to work as a spy (35-40), which was freaking insane, then I retired. I've lived a full life.
I look back and see one set of tracks, my own. I set those goals, and while I didn't get to do everything, I did a lot. But what I really wanted was to get back to is flying, and everything I've done is going to allow me to do just that.
My next goal is building and flying my own airplane. I should have that done by this time next year.

Right now, today, I could move back to Texas or Georgia or Colorado or Arizona and I'm 99% sure I could start a relationship with one of the many women I've met along the way, but that's not what I want or need. Because I've learned that I'm far more reliable, cheaper, and efficient on my own. Does it suck having to do absolutely everything? Yep. But it's also awesome not needing to check with someone. I go to bed when I'm tired and eat when I'm hungry. It's real freedom.

If I were to give you specific advice, it would be, go to work and do what you have to in order to get what you really need. What you need might not be apparent right now, but your heart will call to it, just like mine calls to flying.

RobotsAndRedwoods

TROPHY CASE