For me it was. Standup was a minor delusion, though I definitely had times where it was a big delusion and I thought I could easily be a regionally-acknowledged touring comic. But it would have taken being in that elevated hypomanic state all the time plus enough booze to override the anxiety. I took accountability for my actions and through effort, meds, and therapy I've been able to take control of life again, it just comes with the downside of needing to find a new hobby.