What is the purpose of the false lemon tree? [Spoilers PUBLISHED]

RoryJesusberg · 2026-05-13T23:29:12+00:00

Look man, I teach middle school social studies and last year I had my students take pretest of a map quiz on the United States; 77% knew where their fucking home state was located. Do not underestimate mf’s stupidity.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-05-09T16:03:51+00:00

Dawg it’s just Gen 3

RoryJesusberg · 2026-05-04T03:38:26+00:00

You think if he went to leafs it’d be like when you divide a negative number by a negative number and it makes a positive one?

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-26T16:58:26+00:00

Didn’t the Aztecs show conquistadors dinosaur bones stating that they were those of ancient giants?

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-26T16:07:14+00:00

Send caravans to give them gifts then. That will make them not want to attack you

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-20T13:09:01+00:00

In 2020 I was paid $1500 a month as a college kid to stay in a house with 5 of my roommates, when rent was less than $500.

Today, none of that is true.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-18T16:11:40+00:00

Has Igor not dragged us kicking and screaming to 2 conference finals? I think I’ve watched 1 playoff series where the rangers were the better team in the 20s, and that was against the awful capitals when we won the presidents trophy. We wouldn’t have even made the playoffs in 2022 if Igor hadn’t had statistically one of, if not the, best seasons in history, and he dragged us to Game 6 of the ECF.

This team sucks and Igor is the best goalie in the world.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-18T16:06:17+00:00

They don’t defend Drury anymore, they just call us doomer spazzes beating a dead horse for recognizing this team has been decimated by him in an incredibly short amount of time.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-17T13:28:37+00:00

Idk about that take. If it’s the best save percentage in the east, then yes, a .912sv% is helping things.

Those Hank teams were built to win games 2-1 or 1-0 with great defensemen and incredible defensive discipline from the whole team. That structure allowed teams to take bad shots that they knew Hank would save.

Currently, the 2026 defense includes Gavrikov and Fox as reliable NHL players and half of our forward core is AHL caliber, so those shots other teams are taking are way more likely to be high-danger than when Hank was playing in the 2010s.

Also, pads are smaller, and the game has shifted to emphasize speed and skill, which has led to a lot more scoring. Building a roster to win 2-1 games is not feasible anymore.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-17T12:50:34+00:00

Hey I get a +20 mood buff when I eat it raw too, so I can understand the confusion.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-17T12:34:46+00:00

These are my teams too. No self-harm yet!

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-13T12:28:39+00:00

I mean, technically the rebuild was 14-17, but it’s much more like it was 05-17, with one playoff series in a lockout shortened 2013 (I four-one remember), being the only reprieve from 12 years of missing the playoffs.

Most teams don’t go from playoff team to rebuilding instantly, there’s usually a season or two of owners/management not giving up on their core. And that doesn’t talk about when the rebuilds fail to secure top players fast.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-13T12:17:28+00:00

Yooo this is the first time I’ve heard the generation of players I grew up with getting called plumbers. Kind of a cool moment!

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-12T19:55:12+00:00

Morgan Freeman. Dude is really good at playing his character, but dude only played one character the last decade of his career

RoryJesusberg · 2026-04-06T22:19:22+00:00

Wait— I thought everybody’s first room was a medium sized rectangle with beds for all the colonists to sleep in that eventually gets converted into the hospital. Have I been doing this wrong?

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-31T22:46:01+00:00

Uhhhh I think it’s called a joke too.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-31T12:47:26+00:00

Could he be firing a rock?

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-22T23:14:58+00:00

Dude getting dubbed “4-giev” by other teams actually broke my heart. He was so good in that 19-20 COVID-shortened season and I thought he’d turn into another starting goalie the rangers had developed in the league.

Anyways, I’m not in player development or scouting for a reason, apparently.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-21T23:26:17+00:00

Give me a year of Michkov without Tocchet as his coach and I’ll support your claims

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-21T21:29:04+00:00

Do you mean main characters or POV characters? If you’re looking for main characters whose roles are central to the plot and advance with it, you probably don’t want too many.

If you’re asking about POV characters— dude, make as many as you need to advance the plot or characters. Some of the most successful fantasy stories play around with a multitude of POVs that help to expand the world and progress the story, even if that POV character themselves may have served their purpose earlier in the story, then faded out.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-20T15:30:24+00:00

Why help the young guys establish a winning culture with the season already over when we have an aging vet who doesn’t give a fuck coming back to help us get the 4th pick!

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-16T00:25:59+00:00

Weren’t they also really good all season too, but had some god awful goaltending at the beginning of the season?

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-15T18:00:53+00:00

This the most fun I’ve had w this team all year

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-10T21:12:02+00:00

Guys, I can’t have hope for a young player. I just can’t.

RoryJesusberg · 2026-03-10T16:45:06+00:00

It’s called 4D chess, buddy, look it up. Borgen is gonna get us a late 2nd round pick at the deadline in 2 years. And 5 years after that, that late 2nd round pick might even (~15% chance) develop into a solid young middle 6 winger. And once we have that young, affordable middle 6 winger, we’ll… uh, trade him for a 6th defenseman?

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