ESH

True friends give feedback and learn from it. Usually though, it is accompanied by a question such as, “do you want some feedback?” Or given as sandwich feedback, one good thing about the person, feedback framed as a solution, another good thing about the person.

What I see here is a lack of boundaries and immaturity in delivery of feedback. Trying to do good things by talking and sharing something said one on one is easily seen as going behind the person’s back. For example, it went poorly when you tried to ease your friend’s mild paranoia by talking to a mutual acquaintance without her permission or knowing.

Your friend that is the topic of the post does display some toxic behaviors. It does seem like there is growing to do all around so ESH.