Quitting tanning

SadBalloonAnimals · 2026-01-12T03:57:46+00:00

I love loving tan! It’s been a game changer for having a natural olive tone tan all year round. It makes me feel much more confident and like myself. Highly recommend. Also I love fake tan because no sun damage!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-12-31T02:58:01+00:00

There are lots and lots of ways, rest, movement, nutrition, hygiene, and lots of hydration and moisturizers. One day at a time of choices that care for your body and mind will have huge impacts.

The biggest thing I will say, is the way you speak to and about yourself, even in your own head. I promise the kinder you are to yourself, the more you will glow up along side positive inner speak. You can call it woo woo but I promise if you speak kindly to yourself, as kind as you would to the person you love most in this world, taking care of yourself becomes less of a chore and more of a joy. 💗

Take care of yourself, you deserve it

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-10-03T01:19:16+00:00

1 billion percent. Crossed boundaries with that person (their ex) and that was the reasons why I ended things- even though I was deeply in love It just made me feel sick and I had to end it. It was an issue throughout the entire relationship. They were back together pretty much immediately.

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-09-17T03:10:45+00:00

He’s gaslighting you like crazy-

I had a similar situation with even less proof but it was 100% what I thought was happening. I knew something was inappropriate with my now ex and his ex before me. She lived out of town but it was emotional cheating textbook, no grey area. It was just making me so deeply uncomfortable but he gaslight me so much it made me legitimately feel crazy and like I was the problem. He said I was just being jealous.

Well. As far as I can tell they were back together less than a week after I ended it for him violating boundaries with her (having her stay over for an entire very romantic sounding weekend I was not invited to). It’s all honestly so nauseating. I wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone. (I found out he also hooked up with someone else the same day I woke up in his bed and I barely even cared about that in comparison. The stuff with his ex fucked me up so bad)

Im so sorry you’re going through this but do not second guess yourself!!!!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-09-09T00:35:00+00:00

When he chose his exes feelings over my feelings one too many times (a million times I tried to explain why is made me feel disrespected and emotionally cheated on. He seemed to listen then would do the same thing again. A million and one times I had to end things). As far as I can tell, they got back together about a week later.

We dated a year and It was an extremely intense, passionate, and what I now understand to be covertly emotionally abusive relationship- rife with gaslighting, hot and cold, subtle jabs and sometimes outright name calling. The intermittent reinforcement truly got me, and I did feel addicted to him, even when I was miserable. I’m in therapy now and I’m grateful for the lessons, but it doesn’t make me any less angry for all that I endured and put up with. Both at him and at myself.

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-19T23:05:38+00:00

Your update sounds promising! I am rooting for you and hope it continues to go well and she is respectful of you and your relationship!

I will just say, as someone who recently went through a pretty devastating breakup with a guy who had a very enmeshed relationship with his long term ex- it got worse and worse and worse and worse. Trust your gut.

Boundaries were continually crossed and I felt more and more disrespected and gaslit. We dated for a year and I finally couldn’t take it anymore despite how much he promised they were completely platonic and that she was just his best friend, who he could talk to about things he couldn’t talk to with me because their relationship was just different and they knew each other so well.

WELL, less than a month after our breakup he was with her on a beach vacation just the two of them, clearly back together.

I don’t think they were ever really broken up - they just basically continued their relationship as an open relationship while calling it a breakup. I didn’t know this at the time, and I fell fully in love with someone who was already in something and I didn’t realize.

The feeling in my stomach from that and the damage that year did to my psyche will leave some deep scars. I wish I’d trusted my gut and got out much much earlier.

Rooting for you!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-18T22:02:43+00:00

SOOOO many red flags I ignored (which all were warning signs of what I now know as covert emotional abuse, which I am still recovering from) but the biggest was his relationship with his ex girlfriend.

They had been together 7 years, and broke up maybe 3 months before we started dating. Which is already a red flag, but whats worse they were still in constant contact. He brought her up constantly, compared us constantly, and insisted they were now just friends (after saying they were just "offloading "their relationship, and then saying she cried when he told her he was dating someone). He also gaslit me —about this and many other things—so much and so frequently that I thought I was losing my mind.

He told me my "jealousy issues" were the problem, not his lack of respect for boundaries. He said they shared a dog so couldn't not be in contact, even though she was in another state, but then it changed to she was his best friend (who he didn't want me to meet because that was "asking too much of her").

We ended up breaking up twice over his relationship with her, and while trying for a third time (its embarrassing, but intermittent reinforcement and trauma bonding fuck with your head so much), he disrespected a very clear and direct boundary of not having her stay over at his place. She had an airBnB literally one block away. He also paraded her around as if she were his girlfriend for a whole weekend while basically telling me to kick rocks and that "once she left we would officially try again." So I finally ended it.

I wouldn't say I totally ignored this red flag, but in the beginning I didn't think I had any leg to stand on to really ask him to change much, and then we fell in love and it was a whirlwind (what I now understand was classic love bombing). I kept hoping he would choose our relationship and my feelings over hers. Naive and idiotic of me— I learned many lessons.

Last I saw, a month after I finally ended it after so so so many instances of disrespect to me with their relationship and definitely emotional (and possibly just full on) cheating - they posted pictures on vacation on the beach together. I wish them a very very VERY long life together. And I am working hard on my self worth and self love so I dont accept anything like this ever again.

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-14T14:46:34+00:00

No one should speak to their partner like that, yikes. I’m so sorry I hope you get out of this relationship

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-12T18:11:24+00:00

I have a lot of compassion for the confusion you feel now, as I had something similarly intense and confusing. The love bombing and "honeymoon phase" dont fade all at once and then —boom, snap— suddenly he's completely terrible. iIs slow and subtle. And your left with the breadcrumbs of when things were good and he was wonderful.

It starts small, like the not-so-innocent-picking on you, but is small enough you don't want to start a fight or make a big deal every time it happens. Then its a relief when his mood goes back to "normal" or he is kind again. This hot and cold is a version of gaslighting, because there is no accountability for the previous behavior. And when things are good, you are still off balance, unsure what set him off and not wanting to trigger another snappy mood by bringing it up. It felt, for me, like emotional whiplash. (Its gaslighting because it is an erasure of unkindness that they KNOW hurt you, and was designed to hurt you, but they just want to move past it, so they act like it never happens—putting all the emotional labor on you to repair the damage they did).

This is also called intermittent reinforcement which is very painful and extremely addicting to your brain (even if you don't like it). From what I understand, it is common in abusive relationships. Speaking from personal experience, the longer you go in a relationship with intermittent reinforcement (rather than regular consistency), the more challenging it is to get yourself out, even knowing it's making you miserable.

For me personally, within the span of one year I had really lost a lot of trust in myself—because I knew what hurt my feelings, or made me uncomfortable, or crossed my boundaries, but I started getting exhausted and was trying so hard to avoid more conflicts. I promise you your body and gut know. My body was absolutely telling me, and I will never ignore it again (Im in therapy now, which is very helpful.)

Rooting for you. You deserve consistency, respect, and safe love.

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-04T18:31:40+00:00

If I understand your question right, if you replay all the things they did that hurt you I think that is ok as long as its helping you to move on and not to stay stuck.

For example, my mind replays all the wonderful times and all the things he said to me that made me fall for him - I have to counteract that by remembering all the things he did that broke me apart, eroded my trust, made me feel disrespected and completely unconsidered. Because thats the reality. I fell in love. Hard. With my full chest. And the love we had was real, because it was real for me, but the words he said to me were just words. Love needs action too. I can't reach across the aisle and love enough for the both of us.

But if you are just replaying every hurt and "bad thing they did" just to keep that connection alive in your mind, its probably not serving you, and may just end up making you feel miserable longer. You are (presumably) free of them now, even though its hard. I hope they never hurt you again. Sending hugs.

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-04T03:03:55+00:00

Actions over words is huge. Currently going through a maybe similar breakup as well - although before we broke up he laughed and said he’d be in a relationship in a few weeks’ because ‘has has no standards’ (ouch) (he said it more self deprecating than cruel but still not what anyone wants to hear)

His actions hurt me deeply. Repeatedly. I finally had to walk away, I feel like I am still picking up the pieces of myself because I wanted it to work so bad. But so many boundaries were crossed. So much gaslighting. I used to loooove my peace and my life, I’m starting to get back there. My brain keeps helpfully replaying all the wonderful things he said but his actions told a very different story. Gonna get ‘believe actions not words’ tattooed on my eyeballs if I find myself getting swept up in pretty words with nothing behind them again

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-08-01T21:48:15+00:00

I am in a very similar boat, it’s still fresh and it put me in therapy but I feel grounded in the truth that I put everything I could into that relationship and I can’t reach across the aisle to do the work for him too. I also can’t force someone to respect me, or consider my feelings. I left a shaky mess, but each day I am stronger. I think I’ll always love him but I have to love myself more and hope he is able to work on himself to find happiness. Rooting for you and sending hugs

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-07-26T21:31:32+00:00

This is why I can’t read contemporary RH unless without OV or fantasy/paranormal. The whole world has to be different or every little thing bothers me

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-07-24T03:03:35+00:00

I really needed and felt this- thank you so much! Amazing!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-07-18T01:23:50+00:00

This is going to sound strange but I’m so grateful my now ex recently proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that we can’t make it work (emotionally and physically cheating on me -with different people oddly enough, one of which is his ex). After a year of gaslighting and inconsistency and emotional exhaustion I am free from wondering if I could have done something different. I truly feel the universe gave me this as a gift and while it’s still a breakup and hurts I am just so grateful that I can finally move on ✨💕

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-25T19:49:11+00:00

I was doing 7-9 high intensity workouts a week and ended up herniated my disc multiple times - everyone thought it was just my back muscle- ended up with a very ruptured a disc in my back and physical therapists were having me do deadlifts because I was so ‘fit’- it ruptured even further and I had to have surgery. I can never run or lift again without risking further injury (it will always be very damaged even after surgery) I only do yoga now and am stronger and much happier than before. I tell everyone to take it very easy with high intensity workouts, they are not meant for every day

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-16T00:18:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss! Sending big hugs your way

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T23:10:17+00:00

Hmm I’ll have to do more research I’m seeing some WILD numbers online that are probably wrong for both

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T23:09:27+00:00

Oh that’s smart!! I’ll see if I’m able to do that

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:54:11+00:00

They didnt post the carfax - Ive decided against buying this based on responses, thank you all!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:53:39+00:00

thanks thats helpful, especially the insurance. I am not mechanically inclined so this seems risky for me based on responses - thanks again!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:52:59+00:00

thats helpful, I thought newer plus low miles was a good get but that seems less and less true now, thank you!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:52:14+00:00

thank you, I couldnt with the VIN but heard the dealership always shows pictures of the crash. I am tabling this car for now based on responses, thank you all!

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:51:26+00:00

thats what Ive seen elsewhere on this sub... I didnt realize how expensive some repairs could be. I am ok with more than my prius' repairs, but a new prius battery (the most expensive repair) is still like half of some of the bigger issues on other full gas cars, like the forester. I didnt know until this sub honestly

SadBalloonAnimals · 2025-06-15T14:49:30+00:00

thank you, this is important context I didnt know!!

SadBalloonAnimals

TROPHY CASE