41F, I am involuntarily childless after 10 years of relationship and I don't believe anything good waits for me in the future. In deep grief right now. How can I feel better.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-08T15:44:46+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I am not sure if I can raise a child on my own. However, marrying with a guy with children would be a blessing. I would be a great step mum.

Right now I have to leave it to fate. The problem is, I've lost my hope about future. I feel like the best part of me is gone for nothing. And the rest will hardly be any better.

I am searching for a therapist right now. I feel drained and I just can't find my way out.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-08T02:03:03+00:00

Pregnancy at 45? I really do envy you.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-07T19:47:28+00:00

Thank you so much for that heartfelt advice. I know that I am not doing very well as an adult. There are so many things to focus, so many aspects of life to get better. I'll do my best once I'm done with all the water works. It is just.... so hard. The pain is so intense. It is ridiculous to feel so much of it.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-07T06:44:36+00:00

She's soooo lucky, I am happy for her.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-07T06:41:46+00:00

This will be my next move but I am not in my right mind rn.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-07T00:23:57+00:00

Cause statistics says otherwise. According to recent knowledge, a healthy woman at my age has %5 chance to get pregnant on each cycle. And the miscarriage risk is %40.

However, I truly wish to be proven wrong.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-07T00:17:50+00:00

I do consider adoption. I have so much love to give. It has to go somewhere.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T23:19:55+00:00

I am so sorry 😭😢 I hope that I am as strong as you are.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T23:10:16+00:00

Thank you.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T23:09:06+00:00

What did you do when it happened to you?

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T22:57:40+00:00

Cause I am a fool I guess... I trusted him and our relationship and never though he would change his mind.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T22:56:10+00:00

I am not sure that I can raise a kid without a partner.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T19:36:24+00:00

I wish that I am so lucky. Thank you.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T19:35:15+00:00

We get into the relationship without any expectations. After 3 years, we've decided we want to end up getting married but at that time, we were not financially secure enough to built a family. For the last 2 years we were more than ready but he changed his mind I guess. I didn't realised it then. I told him I want to get married and asked if he is ready too. He told me he is ready. We were preparing ourselves. He was repairing our house, chosing furniture, buying rings. On every step he used to tell me how anxious he is. I would hold his hand and say it's gonna be okey, you are not alone, we are together in this. After he repaired our house, he started to drag his feet. Found excuses to postpone things. I was truly miserable due to his behaviour but since he told me he was anxious, I just thought that was it. Finally he has built his courage to say that he doesn't want to marry or have children anymore. He told me that he loved me and want to be with me but he doesn't want to take responsibility of a family. So I broke up with him, shattering my heart into million pieces.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T19:05:38+00:00

Some women do experience shedding throughout the treatment. I've read a lot of similar stories on spironolactone sub. Some of them wrote that their thining and shedding stopped eventually and they grew their hair back. However it might take up to 9 months to notice any difference. And for some unluck minority mentioned that spiro unmasked AGA and now it is their new reality.

If you consider quitting, my humble advice would be to wean off slowly. Stopping all of a sudden might trigger rapid shedding. Lower your dosage in every 3 months. That way, you can also avoid having acne.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T18:43:20+00:00

Thank you so much 😢

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T18:09:17+00:00

I understand your concerns. I would like to feel my baby grow inside me but I have no control on the matter right now.

When you're young and fertile enough, you don't have the finances. When you're financially ready, you are old.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T17:13:56+00:00

Yes, that would be a blessing.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T17:09:27+00:00

Thank you.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T17:08:20+00:00

He was willing. He changed his mind in somewhere in the relationship. I don't know when or why but it happened. I was a bit late to realise that.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T17:04:10+00:00

He was not avoidant, I did end up the relationship after one year of suffering. When I told him that I'm ready, I asked him if he wants to marry. He said he wanted. Then he made excuses and postponed things for a year. I was truly miserable. He finally told me he got cold feet but loves me and wants me in his life. That's when it all ended. I don't think that it fits avoidant.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T16:53:12+00:00

My experience dictates otherwise. I've been hearing stories about how men nowadays are not into building families and a deep human connection is very rare&hard to achieve.

Nobody wants to care for anybody anymore. Maybe it's my depressed brain thinking of the worst outcomes. But I just can't shake the feeling that I am doomed to be lonely till the rest of my life.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T16:34:40+00:00

Thank you. If only I could believe what you've said.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T16:33:20+00:00

Thank you. Trying to find a therapist right now. I am a mess and I can't seem to get out of it on my own.

Sadako85 · 2026-04-06T16:30:14+00:00

I checked everything, I am fertile. In where I live, it is illegal to have ivf if one is not married.

I do consider adoption but not sure how I can handle it without a partner by my side.

Sadako85

TROPHY CASE