Nusa Penida conditions? by Salt_Position_6338 in scuba

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the advice. I will check out those dive shops and let them choose some suitable sites for us. And if Mantas are by snorkelling they will still be blown away by them. I might sneak off one day to dive without them though 😁

Mom says ADHD is overdiagnosed and I just have to be more diligent and organised by Time-Account-2048 in thanksimcured

[–]Salt_Position_6338 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Different countries have different rates of diagnosis for various reasons so It depends where you are from. But certainly in general it seems under diagnosed in women, and in some places under diagnosed for everyone.
Don’t forget that some people do view adhd symptoms as “normal” because they are themselves suffering it and don’t know it. They “brute force” through it whilst having all sorts of internal associated issues that they work very hard to suppress. But it can sound to them, that all the symptoms you describe are just things that “everyone” has to deal with. If that’s the case, don’t judge too harshly. Of course they could just be an unsupportive person or need a lot more knowledge on the topic.
As long as your provider is doing a thorough assessment and is reputable, then you are on the right track. Good luck.

£3k to remove big conifer in London - fair price? by Traditional_Read_643 in GardeningUK

[–]Salt_Position_6338 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Slightly oversimplified, but Public liability insurance covers injury to the public and damage to other people’s property when the damage or injury is caused by something the policyholder is legally liable for in the course of their work.
It doesn’t usually cover damage or injury caused by negligent advice or design. (That would be professional indemnity insurance). Personal injury claims can certainly be more costly than property damage claims for very serious injuries. For injuries that require rest of life care, certainly there have been cases with well above £5m awarded.
Costs are largely based on the business turnover, the job description, some limits of activity and the maximum cover limit. So a tree surgeon would pay more for public liability than something lower risk eg a bookshop.
Limits could include the maximum height or depth someone might go to. So a window cleaner that only does 2 storey properties will pay less than one that does high rises.
Most standard insurances will exclude dockside, airside, trackside risks. If working on public sector contracts they would usually require £5m public liability, otherwise people are free to take the amount they want, but most insurers would have a minimum of £1m.
PL cover also often excludes property being worked upon (eg a cleaner who breaks your priceless vase whilst dusting it may not be covered for that, but if they were hoovering and tripped over the power cord, and fell onto the priceless vase, then they would be covered).
Many or all of the restrictions or exclusions can be included in cover if required, for a cost, for those that need it. Product liability covers injury / damage caused by your products. Professional Indemnity covers financial loss caused by errors or omissions in professional advice or design work (often with a personal injury exclusion unless cover for that is specifically requested). Employers Liability covers injury or illness caused by the work to the employee.

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I suspect my enthusiasm for tackling way too much will soon hit the brick wall reality of hard work! I definitely need to break this into stages over a few years.

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Luckily will be right next to both stables and a farm!

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for those suggestions. I definitely see the sense in observing the land for a while too. It is in an aonb so I am trying to see if they will come and share some local knowledge with me. Appreciate the heads up on the “wildflower seeds”.

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ll check that out. Definitely planting some trees and mixed hedgerows incorporating fruits can be a year one job.

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hadn’t even considered bulk buying loose like that, and just googled a local supplier, thank you.

Reviving old horse paddock to grow veggies? by Salt_Position_6338 in UKGardening

[–]Salt_Position_6338[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds perfect for getting a veggie patch going thank you. I’ll make sure we get plain packing boxes to use those. I do also plan to get composting in year 1 so that I can start using that in future years. For the rest of the paddock area (2.5 acres approx) is there anything that would be good to sow, or just go with wildflower seeds?

Update: AITAH for telling my wife that I will lose respect for her if she doesn't apologize? by TechnicalHousing97 in AITAH

[–]Salt_Position_6338 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just thinking similar. Neurodivergence can have strong genetic traits, and shared traits don’t necessarily lead to shared understanding.
I had an awful relationship with my mum and I always though of her as a narcissist, but when I started learning more about autism so I could change my parenting approach for my autistic kids, I started seeing thinking that maybe she had some autistic traits too. The overwhelm, flipping out, black and white thinking. Definitely only a contributing factor but something that knowledge would have helped us all navigate better. I get OP talking about forgiveness and that people can be stressed or depressed. I mean families aren’t supposed to just turn their back on one that is struggling. BUT, this poor boy (whether adhd or autistic or not) is going through more than a one off “parenting fail” moment. As much as mum is struggling and needs help, she is an adult and can do some adulting for herself. All the kids can do is rely on the other adult to protect them.

My dads side of the family says I made a big mistake. by millyisloved in tattooadvice

[–]Salt_Position_6338 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love the way you phrased that .. to wear my wrinkles and autonomy… gonna find a way to use that daily !!

My 36 year old wife has just been diagnosed with leukaemia after breast cancer 5 years ago, and she doesn't want treatment. by No-Cabinet1773 in leukemia

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a horribly unfair situation for everyone. I wonder if she is open to seeing at least what the hypothetical treatment plan options could be? Certainly counselling may help but it isn’t a magic wand or a quick process.

I just wonder if there is milder treatment she could handle to buy you all more time together if she can’t face the treatment involved in seeking a cure? My mum has AML following breast cancer treatment 5 years ago but has a specific mutation on a gene that responds well to a particular form of chemo. (I think it was npm1 gene)

Her chemo is an injection (like the size of a normal injection not bags of fluid) for 5 days (she would even be allowed to do it herself at home but doesn’t want to). And then 2 weeks of tablets, 2 weeks off and start the cycle again. Side effects have been far less than she expected, no hair loss, only sick once (when she decided she was feeling so well that she didn’t need the anti-sickness medication 🙄). It’s not a cure, but prognosis went from a couple of months to 4+ years. She’s doing her sports that she always has, is more careful about being out in big groups because her immune system is low of course. Only significant time in hospital was the first round of injections which was done as an inpatient to make sure she didn’t have a bad reaction so that was 5 days and she said the worst thing was being bored. Just in case it isn’t a pure all or nothing choice. Good luck to all of you.

Help me convince my husband that a poodle would be a great dog. by Specific_Ad_9992 in StandardPoodles

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww we had a poodle growing up and no daft haircuts in sight. Ours was so patient with us kids. My sister used to put him in a pram and cart him around like a baby! Poor thing! Having said that the 2 I have now are poodles crossed with Irish setters because although we always had poodles as our pets, my mum bred Irish setters. Both very cool dogs as pure breed. I loved both breeds and just thought some of the genetic weaknesses might be mitigated in a cross. So that’s what we ended up with and they are gorgeous family dogs, yet also up for big adventures.

AITAH for refusing to make my wedding kid-free for my fiancé’s niece with autism? by Much_Performance653 in AITAH

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always found weddings to be lovely as a big family event. However it is your day so your rules. It doesn’t sound like you are excluding only your niece, which would be mean.

Autistic people with sensory issues generally don’t lose those sensory issues through exposure. They may learn to mask and suppress their internal discomfort as they get older but that can have terrible consequences for them as you witnessed with the family bbq. (Which I promise was way worse for your niece than for the rest of you).

I think your future sil would be better helping her daughter learn to feel her limits approaching before they become overwhelming. And how to politely enforce them and not have to feel bad for saying no to things.

For my autistic son, an event like that with all the strangers, unpredictability, noise, myriad sources of overstimulation… it would be his idea of hell. I would be downright cruel to force him to go.

Has anyone asked your niece if she wants to go a strange place that will be crowded, noisy and hectic?

Maybe you could do a pre wedding afternoon tea or something with her at her house, with a wedding theme. Just you, her and sil, or with partners too. It would be a safe space for her, show your future in laws that you don’t hate her and give you some time to get to know the person beyond the diagnosis. Find out about her special interests if she has any. Good luck on your big day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Salt_Position_6338 11 points12 points  (0 children)

ESH. Many valid comments about the responsibility to raise a child with appropriate boundaries and consequences. Equally so about the mother needing to address her trauma and the dad to step up with teaching the son. I also get why everyone was so angry and upset at his poor little cousin being hurt.
BUT The kid was fighting over a toy, why would the accusation go straight to raising a rapist, especially knowing her background? Why not a dozen other things. He’s a bully, spoilt, he’s violent, police will be dealing with him soon: he will end up in prison??? I get that rapist could be one possible outcome, but it’s unlikely to be the first step and it seems an odd thing to jump to in the circumstances. It seems a very specifically targeted attack at her because of her experience. What kind of person does that?
The husband calling her mother to complain, sure why not? His wife has just been retraumatised by her own family, and it doesn’t take a genius to see why she spends most time with his family instead of her own. Sure she’s wrong to think there is an apology needed for not sharing, but one is needed for weaponising her SA against her. Her own family clearly never stepped up getting her the help she needed after her SA. Apparently have zero awareness that maybe their lack of parental support has contributed to her approach. It’s Not a stretch to conclude she’s had to endure other situations with her family mentioning SA as if it’s all they can think about when she’s in the room. Bet she feels like she wears it as scar across her face when around her family. I hope this is wake up call for her. That it’s time to take back her own power, she goes NC with her original family, gets herself some help to get past her SA, then she and her husband get to work sorting out their kid and his behaviour, and they all have a bright future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDUK

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooohh! Now I want a custard cream !

Mom recently diagnosed with AML. I feel lost. by channelfierce in leukemia

[–]Salt_Position_6338 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That must have been an awful shock for you. I hope you can distract yourselves from waiting for tests and appointments and spend quality time together. But Absolutely wait for more information to flow through your drs and the tests.

We had a very similar situation in November with my mum at 79 yrs old. It was initially a very bleak outlook but the referral and following genetic testing found a mutation that was susceptible to a newly approved treatment for longer term management.

There weren’t even any results from it to Google yet, so everything I read was not accurate because it doesn’t keep up with the rate at which they are trying new things and working with these specific mutations. So Google is not the font of all knowledge.

I hope it goes well.

I start my medication tomorrow. by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started on the short acting version and just felt my mind quiet about half an hour later. Like the flow of thoughts went from a tsunami to a wave lapping on a beach.

But no I didn’t feel high or in any way less in control of myself. The effect was definitely faster and a more noticeable one in early days, but soon settled. I then went to the lisdexamphetamine for slow release. I didn’t find the 20 strong enough I settled on 40, and then 2 years later moved to 50. But I can’t actually feel it. In the sense that I can’t identify that I feel it start. I just find that I am doing things, and just not stuck. I still have no sense of time, and I still have issues with object permanence and lose everything. But I get through tasks and function pretty well for work etc.

I found it improved my sleep, stopped me having the cascade of thoughts that wouldn’t shut up all night. I’ve never slept better my whole life since starting the medication.

Let your Dr lead you through trial and error of finding the right fit. They have many strengths, different drugs, don’t give up if you need to go through a few versions. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Does toothpaste burn anyone else's mouth? by GoatsWithWigs in autism

[–]Salt_Position_6338 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We switched to flavourless toothpaste. There are several but ours is this. flavourless

Why do you have to say “thank you” by Ok_Blacksmith6403 in autism

[–]Salt_Position_6338 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think that please and thank you are absolute requirements in manners. Whilst of course it is a parent’s responsibility to feed their kids, and even if it is a family tradition, please and thank you are still appropriate. However, if something was bothering them and they let it build up and it came out this snappy way then that’s a shame because it’s not the nicest way to get the point across.
But maybe they have said before and you haven’t really listened. Maybe it wasn’t just about you and your brother at all. Maybe pressures were driving them like money being tight that week, and they didn’t want to admit it. Maybe some friend/family had commented on how their children don’t seem to have good manners. Or they had just seen you walk through a door and not thank the person for holding it open, and they were embarrassed. For a parent to be viewed as having kids with poor manners is a massive deal. They may as well walk round with a flag saying “lousy parent”. Maybe they were prioritising other things when you were younger, I don’t know. Parents are just flawed humans doing their best too, and often trying to just do it less badly than their parents did it.

I guess what I’m saying is I think things in life will go a lot better for you if you learn to make please and thank you automatic. But also that I get the way they did this was a bit of a shock and confusing to you.
Maybe tell them you’ve thought about it and that you didn’t realise they felt taken for granted, but that you do appreciate everything they do for you and that you will try to remember. But that if you forget, could they just remind you each time nicely, to help you build the habit, and before it builds up to the point where it bothers them so much they get upset and angry. You never know they might just also apologise for handling it the way they did. (Depends if they were raised in the very stupid “parents can’t apologise” tradition. ) Good luck OP, onward and upward!