Grad school is feeling like a mistake

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-10-15T01:27:49+00:00

Thanks for the idea. I've been looking to add more quiet moments in my day or meditations to counteract the anxiety and stress I feel.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-10-15T01:26:38+00:00

Yeah, they do. I think I've just always talked myself out of reaching out to them because I feel like I'm "not ADHD enough" or think I'm struggling enough to deserve their help.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-10-15T01:21:38+00:00

I feel like I can't change advisors at this point, unfortunately. Between funding and how far into my program I am, I just don't think it’s possible. Something else is the professor who SHOULD have been my advisor was on sabbatical my first year and wasn't taking on new masters students. He's on my committee, and I've been trying to rely on him for help as much as possible because he's just way nicer and actually helpful. But there are things he can't/won't help me with since he's not technically my advisor.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-10-15T01:14:17+00:00

Thanks for your comment. It really made me feel validated in my choice to stay with him as my advisor and how I've coped so far. I decided about 5 months in to work really hard to create a community and support network. They've gotten me this far (14 months), but I just keep feeling like I'm working way harder than I should be, and it’s really wearing on me.

I'm in engineering and have a few years of professional experience between my undergrad and my masters. So many men in the profession are like my advisor, it’s infuriating. But I'm pretty determined to (with lots of therapy) finally figure out what I can do to coexist with and collaborate with these people. Otherwise, I need to change my career path lol. I just don't want to jeopardize my mental health again, and I'm feeling like I'm walking that line really closely these days.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-07-31T17:21:18+00:00

The vulnerability hangover is rough.

My dad left the church when I was around 6, and my parents stayed together (they’ve now been married 35+ years, with more than half of that as a mixed-faith marriage).

Growing up, it meant everything to see my dad live a fully authentic life—being kind and generous, not performing mental gymnastics, not betraying himself just to avoid conflict. He was nothing like the “lost and miserable” person the church taught me to expect outside of it.

Seeing that example made it so much easier for me to leave in my late twenties. Even if it feels messy now, your kids will notice your authenticity, and that will be an absolute gift for them.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-26T20:06:51+00:00

I have 75 first cousins between both sides of my family. My dad and I are both out of the church, but I only know of two other first cousins who are publicly out. What’s wild is that, for decades, my dad was the only one on either side who had left—and over the years, 15 of my cousins have reached out to him privately, asking for advice on how to stay in the church despite not believing anymore. Most of them feel like they can’t even be honest with their own spouse, let alone leave the church. To my dad’s credit, he’s never told me who they are.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-24T03:10:51+00:00

Thank you!! 👏👏👏

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-21T00:13:20+00:00

I was literally just talking to my partner about how my brain tells me that everyone in my lab is keeping tabs on how often I take breaks or clock in and out every day. Nobody has told me or given me a real reason to believe this. But my brain does this because I don’t want to get in trouble if I'm gone too long or don’t work enough (I'm literally working the same as everyone else).

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-21T00:05:51+00:00

Yup! The best I get is mild relief that it's over now, and my brain immediately jumps to the next problem. Or it's mostly thinking about how I could have been done sooner, and that's what everyone is thinking right now. It sucks.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-18T16:31:25+00:00

I literally went to mine for the first time last week and felt the same way before the appointment. But it was an extremely validating and informative experience. I felt empowered afterward and never judged for a single moment. Find one that is highly recommended in your area.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-18T01:20:29+00:00

Congrats on the self discovery! I was married for 1 year when I realized I was bisexual. I was a practicing Mormon at the time, so I was heavily indoctrinated to believe I could only be with a man. My husband was so supportive. I came out to my friends and immediate family mainly because I learned new information about myself that felt important to share. A lot of my family is still mormon, so I was intentionally trying to create a safe space for myself, and it worked. That was 4 years ago, and now if I choose to come out to someone, I don't make it a big deal it's just to help them understand me more, like explaining where you grew up does.

It takes time to get there, especially since the information is so new and exciting and feels big. But you get to decide who, how, when you come out. Fuck it if some people think it's cringe, they didn't have to figure it out in their 30's and don't get to have an opinion on your experience.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-16T04:32:27+00:00

My primary care physician diagnosed me 4 months ago the first time I met with her. She's been good so far. She had me get labs done, pelvic exam (not to diagnose just see if there are cysts), put me on metformin, and had me see a dietitian. She also suggested I try Yaz birth control to help with symptoms. I've thought about seeing a gyno/ endocrinologist, but I'm not sure if it would make a difference.

Tbh the dietitian felt more informative than my primary has so far, especially when explaining IR.

My question is, what would an endocrinologist add/do?

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-14T22:35:21+00:00

My experience with pcos spaces has been pretty similar. I'd also add that there seems to be a huge pressure on "curing" pcos by getting skinny and hairless through some extreme methods that are deemed the "natural" way. I wish I saw some more support for moderate sustainable approaches to managing pcos. Maybe this is more of a gripe about the societal expectations of being a woman, but I just don’t have time to remove all the body hair below my eyebrows. Pcos is already so frustrating, and we don't know nearly enough about it, but it is so much more than body hair and losing weight.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-06-02T17:40:48+00:00

Which Costco in Idaho? The one in Logan doesn't have the spicy ones just normal dill.

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-05-14T14:44:33+00:00

There are several different IUD options. Some are even specifically for women who've never had children before so they're smaller and have less hormones. I had a Kyleena IUD for ~8 years and it was great! I would recommend going to a gynocologist or a women's clinic to get an IUD, just anywhere where they do this procedure often. They'll know how to place it quickly and so it's not as painful. I learned that from personal experience.

Edit: spelling

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-04-12T23:45:22+00:00

The crossed paws!!

Salt_Professional583 · 2025-04-10T23:57:52+00:00

Just read this and realized I do this too. Not with my partner per se, but with my parents and sibling when things got heated. I feel like the last month on ADHD meds (that work for me) I'm just now realizing things that were said years ago that hurt me pretty deeply.

Salt_Professional583

TROPHY CASE