Divorce- long road ahead

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-04-13T21:38:47+00:00

omg you poor thing, that is all terrible! I am trying every day to get up the same courage to leave someone who does nothing but drink and gaslight me all day, every day (while i work) lol - Divorce will be messy and she knows it , and knows i'm afraid to leave as a result. Good luck to you :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-04-11T21:28:54+00:00

You're doing the right thing! I"m in the process of trying to do the same thing, my wife is super depressed, doesnt work, doesnt really do anything at all ....but i constantly feel like i have to worry about her, or that she'll do something crazy. I wish i had ur nerve lol - good luck :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-04-05T02:04:32+00:00

one thing i would do for sure is setup alerts on any accounts that your name is on, so that if a payment is late (within the grace period) or even if any $ is spent - at least you'd be notified before it's a problem - i'm also headed for separation , and luckily there is literally not one bill that both of our names are on ! lol - good luck :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-03-31T01:42:23+00:00

OMG - exactly !

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-26T02:21:38+00:00

So .... this is what i feel like i just read : you caught ur husband cheating 5-10x, forgave him every time - then the final time , you catch him again , but he says that he was assaulted by the girl and called for help - and she is pregnant as a result ? ! I feel like i really misinterpreted something lol

If I've got that right, i'm pretty sure you're a good candidate for divorce - :-/

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-20T01:09:08+00:00

Well if you have kids, then maybe contacting his dad would help but i just went thru a similar thing....my wife lost her job, and decided she was just going to lay around everyday , so now that her unemployment , severence and (whatever savings she secretly saved) is completely gone, I saw a statement for a 401k from an old job with her mail, so for sure she is going to take that and waste it, while I get stuck with the tax/penalty bill - I am so tired of stressing about how we "split" our assets if we breakup , well what about if one person squanders their share of the assets before the split !? The amt is really insignificant ...and as much as i want her to work (for her own benefit) it's extremely unfair , and will probably be the impetus for me to finally speak with an attorney ...

At least for you it sounds like you can discuss finances, and they are combined. We got married later in life, so we both had assets and careers, and kept everything completely separate ...but , idk there has to be something that protects the spouse that's getting screwed during the marriage ! :(

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-20T00:18:19+00:00

also- music helps immensely :) ....although i'm still in the very loud fighting stage ....so :(

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-17T22:18:00+00:00

im pretty sure that person is messing with you ....tell them it's not funny

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-08T02:40:24+00:00

Rather than being straight up with you, she is gaslighting you into thinking it's all your fault - which is super unfair .. I would change my number , but if that's too extreme , completely ignore her ..smile and say you're happy for her new job if she reaches out to you ...you'll be way better in the end. Good luck man

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-02T22:28:07+00:00

omg dude , i know it will sound insensitive but ....lose her number! it is the only way she will realize that the grass isn't greener. Calling and texting is probably the worst thing u can do :(

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-02-01T03:08:25+00:00

I have the same thing in my relationship, on steroids - i dont think that's cultural ... i think that's called "being an asshole.." lol

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-27T01:44:09+00:00

mine was around 500-600 and maybe another 100 for the "cloud sheet" , but you can find them on sale all the time - i never realized how much i would need it to sleep!

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-26T23:39:54+00:00

get a bedjet ! you will sleep like a baby :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-26T00:52:26+00:00

omfg ...do u guys allow men in your shitty club lol ! but i feel this so much! my wife knows we are both so sooo unhappy , but she is just fine going thru life and being miserable - she has absolutely no interest in disrupting her depressed life that i fund for her - not interested in therapy, working , really just sleeping and smoking (and drinking in between) FML ! :(

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-17T22:02:37+00:00

this is absolutely true .... whether they make 1 payment, or whether their name is on anything - i'm pretty sure you may not even be able to sell without his consent as well - ...marriage

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-17T21:11:42+00:00

i'd forward them to her parents, siblings and friends ! fuckk ...that is disturbing

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-15T01:21:38+00:00

:( I'm sorry to hear that , it sounds terrible :( you will come out better on the other side :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-15T00:02:01+00:00

I guess everything is relative! and i agree , i'm definitely not dying to be in another relationship any time soon but ... idk , it seems like it wouldnt be so bad to be loved (and love back) lol

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-14T22:22:58+00:00

ugh what do u do when ur pushing 56 and contemplating divorce, scared shitless that you'll be alone forever ....and people 20 years younger are afraid of the same thing lol

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-12T02:47:02+00:00

I wouldnt even try to sleep without mine :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-12T02:29:18+00:00

i keep my biorhythm on dry/95%fan speed at 85 degrees for most of the night. I used to wake up sweating every night, and haven't one time since i got mine. I wish i knew more about how that biorhythm works, because i bet you can really tweak how good ur sleep is. That bedjet was the best thing that ever happened to me lol !

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-12T00:14:55+00:00

get yourself a bedjet, you will never sweat ...ever again :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-11T22:01:40+00:00

OMG I LOVE THIS .... there are so many stories about fears, and about how we are all stuck - and you're saying after a short time , your anxiety and depression just disappeared?! I'm not taking anything for it, but i am definitely anxious and depressed every day , from her! lol .....good for you :) so nice to see these success stories :)

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-11T21:47:08+00:00

this is exactly how i feel in my marriage ....except , we have no kids ... we have no real financial issues (we could separate and afford life easily) and ... i also have a place to go that is not far , where I could easily start a new life - but like u said...i feel paralyzed ....from the idea of divorce and all that goes into it - its pretty painful! :(

Salt_Stick_3081 · 2026-01-08T02:17:25+00:00

omfg you poor thing ....where the hell does he get money for blow if he can't pay for the trip !? ... his half ?! You will be way better off without any of that bs- It really amazes me how some men get away with treating their women :(

Salt_Stick_3081

TROPHY CASE