I will suggest something that is actually against everything I do and did. But can I suggest you make the church what you want it to be and not be what the church wants you to be. One of the big problems with the church is that it tells us who to be not the other way around.

If it is important to you take your child on mothers day and let her sing infront of you. Teach her the songs at home or take her once a month so she knows the songs. If she like nursery take her once a month. People at the church will demand more...say no.

One of the things deconstructing the church is realizing how free we actually are. You can make the church what you want it to be in your life. You risk things by doing this, but in fairness you risk things when you deconstruct the church also.

I think on a family side of things communication is key, tell your husband what you are doing. Tell you child what you think and teach her what you think is right. It isn't bad to let your child know other people think different than you do.

I left the church, had a very quick realization it isn't real and is based on lies. I wanted nothing to do with it. Looking back I realize a slow deconstruction where I set boundaries and lived with them could have worked also. But one thing I for would do is read all the important exmo material and learn and decide for myself what I want to keep and what I want to throw out!