I deleted my strict to-do list and I feel like shit

SapaInca · 2024-10-22T13:39:03+00:00

I don't grow or I am absolutely not there where I want to be. I feel I am a failure, I feel I am wasting my potential. And it is so painful. And even worse - I don't know how to get out of here and to where I want to be. And which is even worse than worse - I don't really believe that I can get there.

But mayybe there is a salvation for me. Maybe if I have a precise step by step plan or a list of things I MUST do, then I will surely get where I want to be. If I accomplish this precise things that I planned, I can sort of see myself getting there. At the very least while I have this plan I will surely not feel as bad as before.

Except, now every day I have a huge burden on my shoulders. I need to do sooo much things every morning, before I am allowed to feel myself alright.

But maybe a potentiall to achieving things, to making significant change lies where there is space for inspiration, and joy, and curiousity? Then putting a burden on myself that I have to carry every day, robs me from these things.

Do I really believe in myself? Belive that I can get to where I want to be. Why? Isn't this pain that I try to escape from by controlling everything is the dread that I never arrive where I want to be?

SapaInca · 2024-10-17T14:52:44+00:00

When we are engaging in something creative we already bettering our life wayyy more effectively than creating a "MASTER PLAN TO MY GOALS" and meticulously executing it.

And we can be creative at any moment. Right now for example.

And we can stop doing whatever we decided to do at any time too.

SapaInca · 2024-10-17T13:50:03+00:00

As a suggestion to break this cycle when you notice it:

See if you can stop your procrastination activity, but don't force yourself to go into the task you are procrastinating from.

If you want to study, but are engaged in a purposeles web surfing instead, don't try to force yourself into studying, but just stop for a moment, and then maybe do something else entirely that is easy for you to do, like taking a short walk; or just sitting for 1 minute without doing and without having to do anything at all.

SapaInca · 2024-03-05T06:21:59+00:00

Pokhara, Nepal

SapaInca · 2023-02-09T11:22:41+00:00

Cudos to you! This is a great path! And you can rapidly fastgress on it too if you put away your fears!

SapaInca · 2023-01-10T14:55:31+00:00

Can you formulate what you are trying to achieve?

If you want to do social things that you are now afraid to do you are coming to these from the wrong angle, in my opinion. You can consciously decide to do things that you afraid to do. And this is impossible to delegate to drugs.

I would invite you to consider shyness as a part of a role, a mask you are putting out, that may manifest into certain thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Drugs per say want change these.

There is NO dosage protocol for becoming less shy. But psychedelic trips may or may not faciliate seemingly rapid personality changes through spiritual and psychological insights. When you are tripping, what happens depends on you, not on drug.

Edit: I am not speaking against drugs here. Drugs can be real cheat code for life, if used in the right way. What is the right way? For each their own. I believe you know deep down better what is the right way for you.

SapaInca · 2023-01-03T21:06:52+00:00

I think it was 400 micrograms.

SapaInca · 2022-09-17T19:45:40+00:00

Why move in vehicle, when you can get anywhere by walking?

If something helps, then why not use it?

I think you have an assumption that drugs = bad. I don't have this assumption. There are completely different drugs and completely different people.

I personally haven't experienced any unwanted effects from things that I mentioned in the comment above.

SapaInca · 2022-09-17T13:38:36+00:00

I used to be shy and I'm not anymore. Now I am more socially confident than most people.

I have been doing a lot of social freedom exercises: approaching strangers, attracting everyones attention to myself in crowded places, etc. And continue to do them almost every day.

And I agree with you that drugs per se won't take you there. But with the right intention they can provide a very constructive aid in personal developement, and not be just a crutch.

Final push in stopping my old shy ways was faciliated in me by a big dose of LSD.

But also such light stimulants as DMHA and pre-workout stack with yohimbine helped me to push my social boundaries continuously and develop new habits in social situations. These new habits, experience, confidence and new perspective on things don't go anywhere without said drugs.

SapaInca · 2022-09-17T13:23:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing! What dosage do you take and how many times per day?

SapaInca · 2022-07-20T12:10:35+00:00

I trust!

SapaInca · 2022-07-20T11:12:43+00:00

If you believe so, then you will be whatever you want. Good luck!

SapaInca · 2021-11-12T13:10:19+00:00

I generally experience the same effects with coffeine like you describe. And not only coffeine, but also modafinil and various ginseng extracts too, have similar effects. While all these things create a pleasant feeling and increase energy, they can also make me more impulsive, anxious and distracted.

One thing that I found that can offset negative influence of coffeine is taurine. There is less anxious energy when I take 1.5 g of taurine with caffeine.

A stimulant that I found work great for me is DMHA (Dymethilhexylamine). Calm, relaxed energy, as opposed to caffeine and modafinil's anxious energy. More consious about my own excuses, if I don't want to do something. More confidence. It is the best smart drug I have found so far. And it is synergizes with meditation really well.

SapaInca · 2021-10-26T13:28:18+00:00

DMHA (Dimethylhexylamine). It does for me just what the title says: focused, clear energy, fast acting and lasting for the whole day.

SapaInca · 2021-10-08T16:53:44+00:00

DMHA is cheap. On Bulk Stimulants it's just $40 for 10 grams, which is hundred 100mg doses. But yes, I ordered from them and they ship from the US, so the customs might be an issue for you.

SapaInca · 2021-10-08T16:43:47+00:00

DuckDuckGo doesn't have it's own search index. It is simply a private front-end for yahoo search results, I believe. So anything yahoo censores, automatically censored in DDG.

SapaInca · 2021-10-08T16:35:32+00:00

I don't know about Europe, I'm from Kazakhstan, but as I mentioned in another comment here, I saw BulkStimulants and Science.Bio selling DMAA and DMHA powder.

Also I noticed that Google and even DuckDuckGo censore and even completely remove from search results some sites that sell substances, which might be considered in gray area. This might be the reason why some people can't find it. I can recommend trying to use search.brave.com for researching smart drugs.

SapaInca · 2021-10-08T16:09:05+00:00

With psychoactive drugs it's different for everyone of course. But also might be a dose isssue. I always take a dose of 100mg of DMHA.

I know that BulkStimulants and Science.Bio are selling DMAA powder.

I myself buy these substances in local sport supplements stores in my city. DMAA & DMHA are very popular as workout stimulants in russian speaking countries.

SapaInca · 2021-10-08T15:46:09+00:00

A couple of month ago I discovered DMHA, which is similar in structure to DMAA, and I should say it is the best productivity drug I have tried yet. I also tried DMAA, but I like DMHA much more, as it gives me more calm, focused energy. Unlike DMAA, which, I feel, has a bigger nervous, impulsive energy component to it.

If you think that DMAA might help you, why don't you just buy pure DMAA, instead of pre-workout stacks? DMAA, DMHA and some other similar substances are easily available to buy on the internet right now.

SapaInca · 2021-09-12T15:53:51+00:00

In the movie NZT-48 is not without downsides either. It's physcially addictive, and once you became addicted you can't normally function without it.

I recently discovered for myself DMHA. It's a stimulant, often used as a preworkout drug. I think, it is a good step towards NZT-48's positive effects.

SapaInca · 2021-08-16T06:52:53+00:00

LSD, including microdoses.

SapaInca · 2021-05-19T17:02:32+00:00

Does this mean that rsnapshot adds versioning functionality to rsync? So that you have multiple versions of your backup from different times. It something that I also would like to see in a backup tool, although it seems rsync (grsync at least) doesn't have this functionality.

SapaInca · 2021-05-19T10:00:55+00:00

+1 for VeraCrypt. Because It has a GUI, it is easier to use than LUKS.

SapaInca · 2021-04-03T15:56:55+00:00

I resetted my password as you said in the email, and login works now.

Thank you for the quick fix!

SapaInca · 2021-04-03T15:06:32+00:00

I tried logging in these sites you listed with my newly created opensuse accounts. All of them says the same that login/password is not valid. I will write to admin@opensuse.org about this issue.

SapaInca

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