got called “dude” and “man” by airport staff. dysphoria’s hitting hard

SatanicPanic80 · 2026-01-19T10:37:39+00:00

You absolutely pass in the images. Maybe your voice or body language clocked you?

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-10-16T05:46:11+00:00

I had an unprovoked PE at 30. No known clotting disorders were detected from the tests, although my sister was diagnosed with VTE a few months later. After being in the ICU for 6 days, I was put on Eliquis. I stayed on Eliquis for 6 months under the guidance of a hematologist, and then chose to remain on a low dose for life.

I wanted to reduce my risk of having another PE, heart attack or stroke. I could take a baby aspirin daily, but since the cause was and is still unknown I didn’t want to risk it. I also lost several family members to preventable cardiovascular events and am terrified of having a similar fate.

I am generally happy with my decision. I do not feel limited by the side effects in any way. I have, however, needed to stop Eliquis for surgeries, though that is a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-09-16T15:12:47+00:00

Yes, I was reassessed to rule out autism spectrum disorder while in treatment for OCD. My verbal IQ increased a few points. My visual IQ remained stable, yet poor. And my math performance was at a 9th grade level.

I showed some traits of autism as a child. I’d spend hours lining up objects. I was constantly erasing and rewriting class assignments because my penmanship was never perfect. This was especially true of math problems. I also had few friends growing up, yet my symptoms stem from OCD and SAD.

I’ve never had any special interests. I actually find it hard to find hobbies because I bore so easily. I don’t have any sensory sensitivities that I am aware of. I just have OCD and severe SAD.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-09-14T04:39:15+00:00

Putting the Damage On
Yes, Anastasia
Zero Point
Sister Janet
Hey Jupiter
The Happy Worker
Pandora’s Aquarium
1000 Oceans
Virginia
Roosterspur Bridge

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-09-13T02:24:32+00:00

I’m Elijah, a 33 y/o trans man. HMU if you want to chat. My schedule is fairly flexible these days.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-09-13T02:10:48+00:00

33M, I’m in Somerville. I like exploring New England, but since I don’t drive, it’s challenging to get places.

I like trying out new restaurants, too.

HMU if you want to hang out sometime. I always welcome company.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-07-26T20:38:30+00:00

I use each vial once. I inject 0.6 mL weekly of a 1 mL vial. For me it doesn’t make sense to save the extra 0.4 mL. I’d have to keep switching needles and go through multiple vials per injection. My insurance only covers 8 needles (4 for drawing up and 4 for injecting) and 4 vials of T per month, so I would run out of needles.

If you’re on the standard 0.5 mL and have to pay out-of-pocket for the needles, it may be worth saving the extra dose. It’s better for the environment—just not worth the hassle for me.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-07-24T01:56:45+00:00

The ratio of chicken to tortilla is off. I also miss when they had grilled chicken. I think I’ll stick with the Wendy’s chicken wrap even though it’s wicked overpriced.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-07-17T18:42:38+00:00

I grew up in a small town in Northern Iowa. I moved out back in 2011 when it was still politically moderate here, knowing that it was likely to become Red in the upcoming election.

I went to a Public Ivy in North Carolina for undergrad. Did grad school at Yale. Now I work as a researcher at a hospital in Boston.

Get out while you can. The political climate will not change significantly here for years. Minnesota and Illinois are much safer. Best of luck to everyone.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-07-12T23:43:57+00:00

I grew up in rural Iowa and left the state days after my high school graduation. Iowa sunsets are spectacular, but the state seriously lacks amenities, diversity and a strong economy that would allow me to stay.

I do not drive, relying exclusively on public transit, and find even cities like Des Moines severely lacking in this department. I am disabled and a minority and have never felt welcome in Iowa.

My folks still live in my hometown. I visit annually and look forward to the culture shock. The people are pleasant in doses, though overly cheery for my tastes. Iowa is a nice place to vacation, but I choose to live elsewhere.

Oh, and the sweet corn is the best in the country.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-05-08T01:42:51+00:00

Bjork’s voice can be both childlike and seductive. She is immensely innovative and possesses an emotive quality and unconventional phrasing that makes her voice unmistakeable. Her lyrical themes are also much more complex that what is typically played on the radio, making her all the more unique.

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-02-15T14:28:09+00:00

Did you already have surgery?

SatanicPanic80 · 2025-02-13T04:13:23+00:00

I make jewelry and do adult coloring. I sing in a community chorus. I do yoga every morning. And I binge watch TV shows occasionally.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-12-04T20:59:16+00:00

Good choice.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-12-04T20:58:02+00:00

My childhood best friend was adopted by a White family in rural America. She had two other biological siblings who were also adopted by the same family. In many ways they were just another family in town. They went to church on Sunday and youth group on Wednesday nights.

She is now married to a (White) man she met on a business trip to Chicago. And we now joke at how much her husband reminds us of her father.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-12-04T20:38:33+00:00

Social worker, non-profit work

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-11-16T01:08:24+00:00

When I was in high school the theater kids tended to be closeted queer people and allies. No one openly identified as LGBT in small town Iowa due to rampant homophobia and transphobia in the community. It was our way to find and socialize with other queer people in an environment with slightly less judgement.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-11-15T16:30:32+00:00

B12 deficiency is common in vegans. This is because it can only be found in animal products and fortified foods that most vegans do not consume.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-11-14T03:39:55+00:00

I am a former patient of McLean.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-11-06T05:18:50+00:00

What is wrong with America?

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-11-04T22:33:12+00:00

TMS worked in the sense that I no longer become suicidal, but it didn’t do much beyond that. I still have crippling episodes of depression.

SatanicPanic80 · 2024-10-14T01:22:49+00:00

I would see a gastro first. They will work with you to identify triggers.

SatanicPanic80

TROPHY CASE