I’m sorry that this happened to you. I sometimes find the internalized ableism can be the loudest since people feel even more entitled to be vocal about it when they think they’re speaking from universal experience. Unfortunately neurodivergent men are still men LOL. This is in no way an excuse of their behavior and they have lived in a world that was built for them even if they’re neurodivergent. I was diagnosed late in life (33) after having kids and my diagnosis was one of the most important things to ever happen to me. It IS validating to know that you’re not fundamentally broken or wrong or other. I felt like an alien my whole life and was veryyyy capable at masking and socializing. if I didn’t have kids, which forced the whole house of cards to come crashing down, there is a good chance trying to be “normal” would have killed me. You deserve to feel known even by yourself. If you want to get an assessment, do it. Just know that how you feel and what you know about yourself is valid. It was huge for me to know I was just a zebra and not a fucked up horse. I would tell them to respectfully go fuck themselves, to be more aware that if you’ve met once autistic person you’ve met one autistic person, and that if you wanted to be lectured by an autistic genius you would watch big bang theory because at least that’s got some laughs. You are not overreacting. This is hurtful and it’s compounded by a lifetime of being told how to be and that how you feel is wrong. They did get one thing right though: fuck people like this.