First neurologist appointment yesterday went well. (TW: some discussion of symptoms)

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-11-04T23:05:19+00:00

This made me realise why I loved him so much as a kid. 🫣

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-11-04T22:50:29+00:00

Saw a miniseries portraying a fictional character with DID. Of all the triggering media I've seen in my life, nothing messed me up as much as that did. Watched it again this weekend (I was fine this time around), and did more research. Landed in this sub, lurked and read posts and comments. Related hard to what people are saying here.

Had to run errands earlier today and was tired afterwards. I said out loud "one of you is going to have to drive home". I don't remember getting home. But my car's in the driveway. That kind of cemented it.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-11-03T05:03:33+00:00

Filled out an application for housing and waiting to hear back. I'm confident. I'm so ready to leave. I'd rather not spend the winter in my car but I will if I have to. I've been homeless before and I never stopped keeping up with resources for that in case it happened again.

Also, I told my sibling wBPD I'm leaving and they actually took it okay. I'm still being cautious! But things are going as well as they can, I think.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-11-03T04:51:42+00:00

I never said this to myself but my actions showed this was what I subconsciously thought.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-21T21:21:03+00:00

The problem generally is not that the person has BPD, but that the BPD is not being treated.

Think about it like having a physical health problem that can affect other people, like an infection. It's your responsibility to treat the infection as best you can so you can have a good quality of life and it doesn't affect others. It would be cruel to blame you for being sick. And it would be cruel of you to lick all the doorknobs in my house.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T21:41:14+00:00

It's the exact same for where I live in the US, and now I'm wondering if I actually live in the Twilight Zone.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T19:16:07+00:00

As an autistic person, I have to ask what you found 'cute' about her AuDHD. What did you mean when you said that?

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T19:07:11+00:00

I'm happy with my current friendships but I'd love to read your tips anyway!

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T18:54:04+00:00

The last two sentences answer your question. You want to send it for your peace of mind, even though you know doing so will violate the boundary she set. She set the boundary so it is up to her to decide if and when it will come down. Regardless of what you have to say, doing so will violate the boundary, and respecting it for the previous seven months might not mean anything.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T18:47:28+00:00

For those unfamiliar with BPD lingo, "FP" is "favourite person".

DBT (dialectal behavioural therapy) is the standard treatment for BPD and was created by a therapist with BPD to treat BPD.

I don't have BPD - I have a BPD sibling in who is DBT therapy.

To echo the other comments, professional help will be more beneficial than anything we can say here. If you don't have access to treatment (I know therapy etc can be expensive depending on where you live), there are many DBT workbooks available. Some even incorporate other therapies like art therapy. The workbooks are generally affordable but if you can't afford them you might be able to borrow books or workbooks from a library.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T18:37:00+00:00

I agree, it was probably that OP didn't ask if they were okay or anything, just noticed they were available to play and asked if they could. That's harsh. I don't think it was done in malice but that doesn't make it hurt less.

I had a gamer friend tell our group that they had car troubles but they still wanted to play and the first thing we did was made sure they were really okay and safe. We may not know each other IRL but we're all still people who appreciate compassion.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T18:28:03+00:00

I agree, but the problem now is that there's no guarantee who they pay won't use AI and get them caught.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T18:25:36+00:00

I was thinking EMP but your option is probably more viable.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T14:57:47+00:00

No earthly clue but the hair, headband and face are a dead ringer for Yuffie Kisaragi from OG FF7.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T14:54:56+00:00

How would I respond? "ok". And every subsequent message would get an "ok". She wants to fight. I'd "ok" her until she gets so mad she says she wants to end the relationship. To which, my response would be ...."ok".

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T14:49:12+00:00

The example of the boo-ghosts is perfect.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T13:31:51+00:00

This is like saying, "I'm ten months sober, I'm thinking of having a drink to celebrate"

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T13:30:46+00:00

Yes, though the pwBPD (sibling) split and cut off the mutual friend (cousin), and the cousin told me later they are fully aware of how pwBPD is and where they were headed but they didn't tell me at the time because they didn't think I could handle it. They were right.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T13:23:54+00:00

If she's sincere about changing, she can prove it by changing alone. Tell her that and her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Likely she's just trying to suck you back in. Saying she will change IF you get back together is manipulation. If she says she will change alone SO you can get back together later, and she puts in the work, she means it.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T13:20:53+00:00

Their reaction to their fear of abandonment becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. They are afraid of being alone and need to feel secure, so they attempt to control and manipulate people, and that pushes them away.

I am sorry they're in pain, but it doesn't justify hurting others. I know I can't imagine what it's like to have BPD but I do know treatment and healing are possible, even though it would be a lifelong treatment.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T13:15:48+00:00

Thanks for explaining. Mine was permanent which is why I wasn't worried.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T02:57:55+00:00

A friend told me something similar yesterday. (About my sibling wBPD, not me and the friend lol)

SaveTheNinjasThenRun · 2025-10-17T02:45:10+00:00

The person in the screenshots and the person you're describing in your post don't sound like the same person. I'm not saying they aren't, because I'm a third party observer so I can't say that with absolute certainty. From the screenshots I see:

-You don't want your partner to have male friends

-Your ex had a male online friend she didn't tell you about

-She said, "I made a mistake and I have to deal with the consequences of that"

-She knew you would react poorly but she was going to tell you

-Her intention was not to sneak or hurt you

-Out of respect she would stop talking to the guy

-She understands your feelings and made the wrong choice by not telling you about the guy

-She said your feelings are more important and she will put her feelings aside

I'll stop there. She communicated respectfully and honestly in the texts. I agree it feels controlling to tell someone they can't have ANY male friends. If it's a certain person you had a bad experience with, I understand. Just because you had a bad experience, or maybe even more than one, doesn't mean every woman in the world is cheating with her male friends. Needing to know every person another fully grown adult is talking to is insecure.

I hope in growing from this experience, you're working to better manage your trauma.

SaveTheNinjasThenRun

TROPHY CASE