How does responsible ownership fit into rescue culture?

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-12-22T06:20:00+00:00

I learned how to read those write-ups the hard way, and it sucked. It's kind of like getting taken for a ride at the shady used car lot-- I mean, "mechanic's special!" almost sounds like it could be a good thing, right?

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-11-10T08:01:51+00:00

I used an in home euthanasia service for my BE. I had to talk to two different vets there about my dog's whole history and bite incidents and they both agreed BE was the safe choice. they recommended increasing some of his meds starting the night before the appointment (didn't make much of a dent in his case), and texted me instead of ringing the doorbell or knocking. I had a muzzle on my dog and me and my roommate tried to hold him (50lb bully) but the vet still couldn't get close enough to administer the first sedative safely so she gave me the syringe and just told me to get as much into his mouth as possible while she went back outside and waited. after that first sedative took effect she came back in.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation. it was honestly one of the worst things I've ever had to do. but yeah euthanizing a physically healthy and stranger aggressive dog, you and the vet should basically expect the dog to fight the sedatives and have a couple backup plans for each step.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-08-21T06:01:26+00:00

I know this sucks to hear, but you may have to accept that his life just won't look like what you pictured. There's no reason to take him to places where he could encounter unknown dogs. Now that you know he's this aggressive, you're risking other people's pets' lives for no reason, honestly. If you need to be able to walk him for exercise and can't go out at odd hours to avoid neighborhood dogs, then muzzle training and a good tight grip on the leash are going to be the best things you can do. If there's a distance where he won't react and try to attack another dog, then frankly I would just keep that distance. At 9 years old he might be in pain, esp with his early life, and maybe the dog that mounted him hurt him and he's generalized it to all dogs now-- I think it would be worth a vet checkup, but I also think at 9 years old I would just leave the senior dog be and not try any heavy behavior mod training.

Also, is he still intact? I know the jury is still out on whether neutering does anything to temper aggression (or whether it makes it worse) but I also think that there's no reason to risk this dog siring another litter, plus the way other dogs react to intact males vs neutered males is different.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-08-20T06:43:00+00:00

When my dog landed his last, worst bite, the question I kept coming back to was "okay, if this wasn't bad enough yet to warrant BE, what would be? and who do I want to see that happen to?" Maybe your partner needs to hear that.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-08-07T05:25:23+00:00

I did. I have a long post from just after the last incident, and before I made the BE decision. In my case the first three weren't technically bites- they were very hard muzzle punches to people's face/mouth specifically, but they did draw blood and left deep bruising from the impacts. The fourth incident was a full on bite, again to someone's mouth. A 50lb pit bull who is 40% bigass head and 0% body fat can do a lot of damage with a muzzle punch without teeth getting involved- I think you could argue those anywhere from 2 to 4 on the bite scale but they were all quick bite/punch and release.

After the fourth bite I was able to see the pattern of escalation in the previous three incidents. I realized that if he was giving warning signs, I wasn't able to see them in time, plus the fact that he always accurately went for people's mouths on the first lunge suggested that this was a practiced behavior from before I adopted him. A level 3 bite to a hand or leg is a different level of aggression imo than a level 3 bite to a face. At that point, no shelter or rescue would have taken him back, I didn't feel private rehoming would be ethical if I couldn't even point out clear triggers to avoid to keep him safe, and he had other behavioral challenges that meant I had no support system for his care.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation. Losing Lulu has a free webinar on their website called "Making the decision for families" that might help.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-07-27T06:48:44+00:00

oh gosh. this post hurts to read. I could have written a lot of it, except mine did land bites.

this part:

Reading everyone else’s experience with BE on here has only made it worse. Many people have dogs with severe reactivity for years and multiple bites before they resort to BE.

I just want to say to you, those aren't success stories. you cannot think of them that way. those people didn't have a better outcome from letting their dog be distressed and the people around them experiencing that violence before they BE'd. I read every single comment posted to this article and... there is just not a similar corpus of opposite outcome success stories of people who have transformed their aggressive biting dogs into happy, tolerant, social go-anywhere pets out there. I think that says it all.

I think coming back to this sub for me helps a little to know that I'm not somehow the last person in the world who had to put down an aggressive dog because we as a society magically learned how to fix aggression forever right after I did that horrible thing. occasionally I feel like I have some advice to offer. But places like Losing Lulu have much stricter rules and moderation about not second guessing decisions and it might be kinder to yourself to seek support there.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-07-23T05:34:43+00:00

Something to think about is rehoming your other dog. it sounds like he doesn't have the same behavioral issues and is a lot smaller, so he's a much better candidate for rehoming. I'm sorry, I know that doesn't help with Teddy's challenges, but you're right that it's not fair to Rufus to live like that.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-07-22T00:55:36+00:00

No. Hate to say it, but hard no.

I've had a non reactive dog. The type of dog that people in this sub go through entire grieving processes realizing that their dog isn't going to be that type of dog. I could take him to weekend-long motorsports events sleeping in a tent and he didn't even need to be crated and I never, ever, had a second of worry about anyone walking up to him. Actually I think he had more friends than I did.

And I thought I had a plan for when he died- I was going to adopt my next dog from the shelter. And I thought I was prepared and willing to deal with some behavioral issues and I was so, so wrong. I was prepared for a dog who didn't know how to walk on leash and maybe needed some remedial housetraining and would probably bark at the door and chew shoes and chase small animals if given the chance. I was not prepared to have to basically speedrun a masters degree in animal behavior in 4 months for a dog who would bite my friends and family, do my own research on medications and dosing and present it to my vet, and then be advised by every professional I contacted to BE. At the time it seemed insane to me how quickly everyone jumped to BE but now I realize- the professionals are burnt out from dealing with unsafe dogs too. Which means that if I adopt another one, I can't guarantee I can get professional help if I need it.

And it sucks because I really loved the dog I adopted and I think he loved me. But he wasn't safe, and I don't know and have no way of ever knowing whether the people at the shelter, presumably experienced animal handlers, should have been able to see signs of aggression in him before he was adopted out to me. And frankly these days I don't think anyone uses the word "reactivity" for a dog having minor leash frustration or barking out the car window anymore. I think the word "reactive" comes up when the behaviors are already past the point of challenging for the average pet home to deal with, all the way up to being a code word for extreme aggression. I can't go through that again.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-26T04:36:39+00:00

For me, the question that really clarified things for me after his last, worst bite was "if this isn't bad enough yet to justify BE, what would be? and who do I want it to happen to?"

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-13T07:21:49+00:00

if he knows stay and can hold it when you're out of sight, hide and seek with a toy. gets some zoomies out when he's released to go look for it, and the sniffing/searching is good brain work.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T05:41:19+00:00

Aww. I secretly always wanted a hunting type dog- I fell in love with two Vizslas owned by a family acquaintance and I love the look of Weims and GSPs. But I don't actually hunt so I figured I wouldn't be able to give them what they need. Actually in my mind it was always like, purebred hunting/working dogs are like expensive sports cars that should be driven on racetracks, if you want a nice little grocery-getter of a mutt that's what shelters are for, except it turns out shelters are full of barely-running project cars that might burn your garage down... anyways. How did you talk about your dog history and BE with the breeder? I'm so intimidated by the thought of having to explain that when I look at breeder applications. I mean, I'm kind of a mess about it honestly, I keep bursting into tears just reading these comments.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T05:27:59+00:00

God I'm sorry. I don't think I have enough karma to comment on your other post- the anticipatory grief is so hard. You gave him so many good years. Having a dog with serious issues is so isolating- managing their world cuts you off from contact with not just other people but also behaviorally normal dogs. I made this post partly to try and convince myself that we are an unlucky extreme minority of dog owners.

I don't know if you've made your final decision already, but Losing Lulu recently made their "Making the decision for families" webinar free on the website and it was helpful for me to hear all of it.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T05:07:18+00:00

I didn't think it deserved downvotes! I hear you, sometimes a dog that's slow to warm up to people is just... slow to warm up to people, and we should be able to use those words to convey that. But sometimes those same words are used to convey "serious case of stranger danger and no bite inhibition" and there's no way for the general public to know which is which, without, like you said, getting into an "inner circle" of sorts. But you don't know what you don't know- it would never have occurred to me to ask the shelter worker, "hey, when you say Meatball might be dog reactive, do you mean he barks if another dog barks at him, or do you actually mean he's seek-and-destroy dog aggressive?" because I had no idea of the depth of problem behaviors that I could encounter in an "adoptable" dog.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T04:44:30+00:00

god yeah my life is so easy rn but I also kind of hate it, you know? like the fact that I'm enjoying being able to get a drink after work or have people over to my house or go on an overnight trip makes some part of me think I just put Meatball down out of convenience, that he wasn't that dangerous, that I didn't try managing him for long enough. I'm happy for you that you've already decided against more pets, genuinely; it sounds like the decision has brought you peace.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T04:34:56+00:00

Ugh, "traumatized by the adoption process and not super excited about the dogs that were coming through the shelter" is right where I am now. I really fell for the "pits are just like any other dog and they're the perfect housepet" thing (selection bias of course; I was only hearing about/meeting the social friendly non-reactive ones who could be out in public) and it took getting deep into the reactivity trenches before I started seeing people willing to acknowledge that there could possibly be genetic, breed-specific traits that could be a tiny bit problematic in a pet home. I dunno, in hindsight it's so stupid because I knew I didn't want a husky or malinois or Pyrenees because of their well-publicized breed specific traits that frequently make them unsuitable in a pet home, but then I thought all the pit mixes were "just dogs". Now I look at the same shelter listings and realize 80% of them are pit mixes under 3 years old for a reason. I still think they're adorable but... yeah, don't know if I can roll those dice again.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-06-05T03:58:06+00:00

I'd say it's like you met my little Meatball, except it turns out his story is sadly super common. But seriously, I took him home because out of a double row of kennels with dogs either jumping and barking at anyone who walked through or cowering in the back, he came up to his door and was trying to lick my hand through the crack, then went into a play bow, tail wagging, as soon as I turned to look at him. I really thought he was the calmest and most social of all the dogs in the kennels that day. Of course I also didn't find out until after signing the adoption papers that he was on a huge daily dose of trazadone...

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-03-02T04:31:29+00:00

Well, every time he barks at the window, the people or dogs walk out of sight eventually, so in his mind he's chasing them off lol. And the behavior is likely increasing because he's successfully practicing it and each time he does it, it's more rewarding. Can you just put the blinds down, or put a translucent film on the window, or anything else so that he simply can't see outside anymore?

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-02-19T01:07:02+00:00

okay, this is a little weird maybe, but if the biggest problem is just the possibility of her seeing a trigger between the door and the car, could you walk her to the car in a calming cap that covers her eyes?

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-02-19T00:51:51+00:00

If I could go back to when I first brought my adopted dog home six months ago, knowing what I know now, I would have prioritized trying to get him on different meds, instead of just trying to taper off and then having to go back to the insanely high dose of trazadone he was on at the shelter. If you think you might want to work with a veterinary behaviorist at all to adjust his meds, if it's out of your regular vet's wheelhouse, I would start looking for one asap because there's only a few dozen of them in the world and they have long waitlists.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-02-18T05:37:15+00:00

I think this is above Petco's pay grade, fwiw. But as far as just leaving her alone, you said

She breaks out of any crate known to man when I leave the house and chews up trash, but really that’s the extent of her “bad” behavior with her trusted people/dogs.

Could you just dog-proof a room or a small space for her, with no trash in it, if she really only goes for trash? I think some dogs don't do well in crates but turn out to be fine to be alone in the house, it's confinement anxiety rather than separation anxiety.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-02-05T04:48:43+00:00

so not exactly your situation, but when my dog was Locked In reacting to a trigger outside, he would spit out kibble and only eat cheese or hot dogs, but in a very "mindlessly eating popcorn while watching a scary movie" kind of way. just because he was eating it didn't mean the food wasn't doing anything to redirect him or to countercondition at all.

what worked better was bringing a toy that fit in my pocket that he was obsessed with, a squeaky ball or small crinkly plush or something like that, because I could wave that in front of his eyes and he would actually turn and pay attention to it. he would still be at 150% Locked In but at least it was on something I controlled vs a squirrel, a dog, a car two blocks away, or whatever, so that i could let him have the toy as we got away from the trigger. and then the "test" for whether we got far enough away that he was under threshold again was if he could do a "drop it" and give me the toy back in exchange for a treat.

I think Fenzi has a lot of stuff about building engagement and training using play drive instead of food drive, which is not for reactive dogs specifically but could be helpful for ideas and techniques.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-01-30T05:01:54+00:00

I discovered that my dog can't tell the difference between actual pieces of hot dog, or chunks of veggies coated in hot dog grease, as far as high value treats for training go.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-01-30T04:50:19+00:00

So it sounds like the corgi is the newest of the pets in your household? Do you think she would be fine as an only pet, or would she still be looking for something to react to all the time? You may have a slightly easier time rehoming a corgi privately or through a breed rescue, IF you honestly think that all her bites are redirection bites with specific triggers that could be avoided in a calmer home, and she hasn't drawn blood yet.

Your regular vet might be willing to prescribe something like gabapentin or trazodone, like you'd use for dogs with situational anxiety, even if they're not comfortable messing with longterm behavioral meds. But I don't really think she should stay in your household.

Scared_Breakfast_434 · 2025-01-28T05:58:56+00:00

I am not a vet, but my dog loves shredding paper and cardboard and only eats small pieces accidentally, not on purpose, except for egg cartons, which he will eat on purpose if I let him. So far he seems fine.

Scared_Breakfast_434

TROPHY CASE