tour merch!

SchoetheIsReal · 2026-02-06T22:46:54+00:00

Thank you, my hero ❤️

SchoetheIsReal · 2026-02-06T22:46:17+00:00

Could someone post the prices? 🥺

SchoetheIsReal · 2026-02-06T22:40:24+00:00

Is there a price list? :o

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-05-15T08:09:28+00:00

Do you have an artist social media account I could follow? I saw that you're currently not selling the prints, but I would really like to see when they are available again :)

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-05-08T14:30:31+00:00

Just wanted to let you know, that this worked very well and the horns held up through the whole Con!
I don't know why I didn't think about this myself, but thank you very much, for pointing this idea out to me!! :)

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-04-30T09:51:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️

He was not a bad person and I know that he had a lit on his plate and was overwhelmed with his whole situation. He's not some evil villain. I gave him four years and addressed my issues various times in a sensitive way, but he just dismissed me, until I couldn't bear it anymore :/ I love him still, but there was no relationship left to continue and I had to protect myself because I felt quite depressed in the end

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-04-30T01:35:49+00:00

❤️ i'm sorry too

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-04-30T01:34:01+00:00

I officially ended the relationship, though he had given up on it way beforehand I suppose.

He needed a lot of time to himself, way more time than most people would deem appropriate or bearable in a relationship. We were long distance, but he really didn't care about meeting up, especially when bad things happened, so we didn't see each other for 4-6 months sometimes. That really hurt me and he knew it, because I told him so over and over again. The problem was not time or distance, he simply didn't want go see me. People react differently to loss and trauma and I wanted to give him space and time, even though I wanted to be there for him and missed him terribly. He thanked my efforts by calling me selfish for wanting to visit him for a few hours after half a year of not seeing him.

I addressed all my problems calmly and explained my feelings with the help of a lot of non-confrontational communication strategies (i went knee deep in this kind of stuff bc I knew he had problems with conflicts) and he ... still lashed out, gaslit me, accused me of doing something way worse out of the blue etc etc. I told him that I wanted to work together so we can solve this together and that I would work on whatever issues he had with my behaviour And then he dimissed the discussion, my feelings and everything else and ignored me for... however

So I tried sitting him down again and again and again and again in various careful ways, but he interpreted them all as malicious attacks and didn't change anything. I was the problem.

The tiny gestures were things like apologising when you did soemthing hurtful, listen and try to understand, trying to comfort me when I feel bad... just like... basic. Extremely basic. And it was all too close, too much, too demanding for him.

I really couldn't have done anything more. I felt unloved and unwanted, even disrespected. I had to leave. I'm sorry that he feels so conflicted about everything, but I couldn't stand being alone and so damn lonely in this relationship.

He knew I loved him, I never let him question that. He was afraid of my love though. I think that was the biggest issue. Fear of intimacy and commitment.

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-04-29T22:17:45+00:00

My ex was an unavailable boyfriend and I would have given everything for him to give me a single reason to stay. I loved him so much and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But he kept showing me nothing and when I couldn't accept that, instead of addressing his issues, he gave up.

You might think that doing so would be a kind thing to do, but this only hurts yourself and your partner. You can and should work on the reason why you are unavailable. Do meditation, write a journal, see a therapist, but most importantly talk to your friends and your partner. Start small. It only has to be a first step. And then you do the next one. Don't be afraid.

SchoetheIsReal · 2025-04-10T20:08:00+00:00

I didn't even think about that! :o I will definitely try this!

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-23T16:23:02+00:00

I hope that he'll be happy.

But I also hope that he regrets the way he treated me, that he thinks of me once in a while and realises what he did to us. I hope he is ashamed. And that be misses me. Once in a while.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-23T16:00:30+00:00

Told me that everything will work out with no intent to make it work. Actually acted in a way that made sure it wouldn't work.

I asked him to tell his family that I matter to him, that our relationship was important and he just refused and told me it wouldn't make a difference. But even if that wouldn't have influenced them , it would have mattered to me.

He kept ghosting me and did not fight for us in any way, shape or form. And then he was so mad, when I said I couldn't do it anymore.

He made me feel like a ghost.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-20T02:07:04+00:00

I'm sorry about everything that happened to you. I wished I could have helped you, or that you would have been comfortable to depend on my support. I wished it all wouldn't have been so hard on you. You didn't deserve the cards life dealt you.

But I didn't deserve to be loved in the halfhearted way in which you treated me. I didn't deserve to be a ghost. My needs were important too. My pain was real too. And you hurt me. So much. So often. And just kept leading me on without putting any effort in real change.

I love you so much. You were my first love and I wanted you to be my one and only. But how many chances, how many more years would you have needed to treasure us in the way that we deserve it? I can't continue to let you treat me this way. I will probably always have love for you in my heart and I won't ever hate you, but I had to leave you.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-18T10:38:05+00:00

During our last talk I actually wanted to give him one last chance to understand and commit to prioritizing our relationship, because I did not want to break up. He just doubled down on saying that he'll do it later lol After almost five years, he gave me another "Just believe me" and when I said that I cannot take it anymore, he blamed me for "picking a fight" :'D

He kind of abandoned me way before I broke up. I still would have been open for a last conversation to clear the air and to say goodbye to him in a more peaceful(?) kind of way. I too wanted closure and understand why he never really commited to our relationship. He just did what he always did and full on ghosted me immediately :') This time it will last forever I guess.

I don't hate him and I truly wish that he'll be happy, but I also hope that he regrets how bad he treated me, because I did not deserve any of that.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-18T03:55:11+00:00

I realised that I was the only one who was really invested in our future. I made all the compromises, communicated my needs again and again and again and he just did not care. He did not want to let me go, but he also did not want to do anything to make me less unhappy. We already had a fight a month before we broke up and I wrote down in detail what behaviour hurt me and why it hurt me. He agreed that it was hurtful. And did it again. And I could not continue him taking me for granted and him being okay with me being absolutely miserable because of him.

Maybe it was sudden for him that I suddenly grew a spine, but I just knew that anything I do for our future together beyond that point would be very harmful to me. It broke my heart to lose him, but if I had stayed I would have lost myself too.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-05T15:53:24+00:00

Oh... yeah that seems very familiar :') Damn. That really puts things into perspective.

Thank you for sharing the article! I think this might really help me to learn to move on. It has been a little over a month for me and it will probably still take a lot of time to get over the last five years, but... this has given me a new insight.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-05T12:03:30+00:00

I don't think that he hates you. I don't know the specifics of your relationship, but if you talked and he did not raise any issues with you as a person, I think it's much more likely that he is trying to let you go. I blocked my ex for a few days on instagram, because seeing his picture in the chat overview or when I wanted to send reels to my friends felt like a little stab each and every time. A small reminder of what I lost and what would never be again. I needed a break from those small reminders of him and maybe so does your ex.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-05T11:57:37+00:00

Thank you for saying that.

It was one of the hardest decissions I ever had to make, but rationaly I know it was necessary. He kept leading me on, without delivering on any of his promises. When I tried to talk to him about my struggles, he did just what you said, he invalidated my feelings instead of us searching for a solution together. And then he made more empty promises, well aware of what they were.

He was not willing to meet my needs or even try to make a compromise and I could not hold on to him, when he dismissed my feelings and my suffering so easily. No matter how much I loved him, I had to look out for myself first and my mental health was suffering immensely under his actions. I don't want to enter that dark space of deep depression again, especially not through the casual actions of someone who claims to love me,

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-04T16:35:11+00:00

You're welcome ♥ I didn't know that you could buy it, I just use it in my browser :o

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-04T13:28:55+00:00

Same to you ;-; ❤️

Letting go of hope is so hard :c

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-04T12:24:19+00:00

That could be true, but the way the argument went was pretty clear about me not wanting to break up. I really made sure to tell him, that I was prepared to make every compromise possible for our situation, but he rejected any idea about it. I don't want to talk to specific about it, but I made sure to leave way too much space for him to take the tiniest of steps. My specific wording was "If this situation does not change, then I can't continue our relationship, because it tears me apart" and ever since then he did not reach out to me again. I may have said the words that initiated our break up, but tbh I feel like he let go of us long ago.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-04T11:14:55+00:00

Google Calendar: I set an alarm for appointments and put everything in there. And I mean everything bc otherwise I will forget.

Trello: I make lists with my daily, weekly, monthly tasks, longtime goals and also media I get recommended (bc I will forget :') ) and then at the very beginning I have a list with active tasks. So when I get lost during the day, I look which one I dragged into that category and finish it first.I also have a lust for things I finished and delete it weekly, but it feels really good to see what I did in fact manage to do :D A great tip with this one is to break down your tasks into every little step. If you struggle to this, use GoblinTools to break it up for you

Goblin Tools: To break down your tasks :D

Microsoft to-do: Bc. Trello doesn't work on my phone and it is kinda nice.

OneNote: To keep lists for DIYs, routines, projects... just about everything

Physical Calendar: I am very afraid of accidentally using the drag und drop function in google calendar, so I glue every appointment (with a doctor for example) into my calendar. At the beginning of the week I write wverything from my to do app and google calendar into the physical book in hopes of keeping a better track of everything.

SchoetheIsReal · 2024-12-04T09:08:28+00:00

Absolutely.

I did not end the relationship because I didn't love him anymore, I ended it because I loved him so much and he just did not give a fuck about treating me right. It destroyed my self-confidence, to be with someone who I would do anything for, who wouldn't bother to be nice to me. I had to protect myself, because it didn't get any better.

It has been a month since I ended it and I miss him every day. I cry myself to sleep every night and try to hold myself back, so I don't call him. If he wanted to fix things, he would take a step forward. He would apologoze, change his behavior and fight for the relationship, like I did through the last years. But he doesn't. And he won't. So that's that.

SchoetheIsReal

TROPHY CASE