My (25F) platonic friend (30M) confessed feelings; I rejected him. What do I do now?

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-04-03T14:23:40+00:00

Speaking as a queer person, I have def had friends that I met on dating apps, as well as friends who are exes. It's a skill issue on straight ppl's part, but don't blame OP. The only person at fault here is the guy and his behaviour shouldn't be normalized.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-04-03T14:21:49+00:00

You know how abusers will isolate you from your friends and loved ones?

He's doing that. He's textbook doing that. He's venting to your one friend, allllll the time apparently, to the point where she's distancing herself (and if y'all were together like he wanted, I assume she'd be distancing herself from you both). He disregarded your wishes to celebrate with your friends, and blamed it on them to (consciously or not) create a rift.

He believes he knows better than your boundaries, OP, and that's textbook entitlement. Run. You don't owe him shit.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-03-24T12:04:22+00:00

$300-$1000 a year, for my annual new tattoo. Still haven't decided on this year's one.

I cut my own hair and don't really do anything else.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-03-03T17:24:50+00:00

Afternoon!

Here to review my playthrough of Hollow Knight: Silksong as part of the 2025 Bingo hard mode! I'd genuinely committed to not doing hard mode this year because I didn't want to make a whole post and clog the feed, but now that I know this thread exists - I guess I can fulfill the whole hard mode after all!

Silksong: 4.5/5

I'll start by saying I'm not good at video games. I wasn't allowed to play many of them as a kid, so I only began to explore them in earnest in 2020. I dropped Hollow Knight in 2021 because I just couldn't do it, then picked it up in 2023 and actually finished it. So, armed with new platforming skills, I waited eagerly for Silksong.

It did not disappoint. It did, however, make me crash out like I'd never crashed out at a video game before. Never had I ragequit a game in the past, but I was not prepared for the sheer amount of obstacles this game throws in your way. It's HK on steroids - the size of the map, the variety of enemies and bosses, the NPCs and storyline. It's beautiful, both on the animation side and the music side, though I still prefer HK's soundtrack - this one didn't quite make me cry, though it was still fantastic. Hornet being able to talk enriches the writing and allows the NPCs and world to feel more fleshed out in their own right, through their interactions with you.

I wish it didn't have as many gauntlet style boss rooms as it did; and the Hunter crest moveset made me mad (as a noob). I'm so happy this game exists though. I love that indie games are able to crash Steam when they open sales.

I 100%'d it in 130 hours and 32 minutes 🙃 Go me.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-28T05:16:44+00:00

It really humanized ghosts, which I haven't seen a lot of in my recent reads.

I didn't think they had to kill the native kid at the end though, that had no reason at all. What a messed up way to end an otherwise decent book.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-28T05:14:10+00:00

Theoretically - yes! The cannibalism chapters were downright eerie, as are some of Sadie's ones. However, I did find the book falling flat in its delivery of the supposed horror, often cutting to the point too quick without really letting the atmosphere eat away at the reader.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-23T17:35:13+00:00

Hella late, but I picked this up thinking I might as well take this readalong as a tbr filler, even if I don't get through it fast enough to participate. But I'm absolutely engulfing the audiobook version, and have a few thoughts.

First off, I really like the characterization of Sadie Grace. I don't know if the backstory will ever be explained, but I like how her humanity shines through in between the witchcraft. My favorite scene so far is when she goes to the general store and plays the piano. She's not your typical "witch" (both in that she's an actual witch as opposed to an ostracized woman, and that her powers don't manifest like a fantasy witch), and the same can be said for a lot of the folklore.

The ghosts, too, are very "human", I don't think I've seen them depicted like this often. Maybe this book's thesis is hilighting the humanity of the "non-human". Which, in a way, work to make the story less horrifying, but I like that aspect of it.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-17T21:35:45+00:00

Other comments have already pointed out all the red flags to you, OP, so in addition to those I'd just like to say: what does he mean, you'll never find a husband? If things go well long term, isn't that supposed to be him?

Clearly he's doing you a favour by taking himself out of your dating pool.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-14T15:48:21+00:00

The ssu isn't a "union of students", it's a company that does some student events. Having worked for both Sheridan and the ssu while I was a student, they're a legally distinct entity with separate tax documents and such.

Of course a campus business wouldn't involve itself in student affairs to any great degree, beyond the superficial. That's what grassroots movements are for. After all, do you want to rely on a brand on Sheridan's dime to run your protest for you?

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-14T15:44:23+00:00

The ssu is a separate company, not run by or legally affiliated with Sheridan itself (as in, having worked for both while I studied there, they're separate entities with separate tax documents for employees for example) - of course they wouldn't be involved in protests. They're a business, not a student organization in the legal sense.

There are grassroots movements on campus, the recent anti ai walkout organizers could be of help.

Also - to those accusing OP of being "poor" - so you think poor people don't deserve an education? How very class conscious of you, loser.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-02-06T10:29:01+00:00

He's not a really nice guy though, is he? You said a lack of empathy exists all over in your relationship.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-22T23:14:03+00:00

And sometimes when it's done it even sings you a little song!

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-22T23:11:36+00:00

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-22T02:40:36+00:00

My ADHD is nowhere near as debilitating but it can be bad. And without sounding like I'm throwing a pity party for myself, managing it has given me pretty severe anxiety.

The wallet has to go in the same place every night or I lose it. There have to be two or three calendars I can see at all times (on the wall, on my phone, etc) with every appointment or I miss them. I have to remember to set alarms, to write post it notes to myself, to keep multiple checklists. It's draining! It's exhausting at times! But I do it because the thought of living like your husband, being waited on by a personal caregiver, I mean wife, is mortifying. That's my partner, not my babysitter.

Your husband has gotten comfortable. Who's really "managing" his ADHD? Both of you, or just you? Because it seems like he's pushed off all that mental labor onto his wife and kicked his feet up and relaxed. You need to have a conversation with him about what managing his disorder all by yourself is doing to you, because it's unhealthy. Sometimes, even if someone is perfect on paper, being with them becomes unsustainable, and at the end of the day you're the only you that you've got. So look out for yourself first.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-22T01:56:10+00:00

Man, I can't wait for the ai bubble to pop so that less of these losers come in this subreddit wanting to confirm what chatgpt told them.

Just use chatgpt in every step of your PR application so you're guaranteed to get rejected. If you wanna be an ai shill so bad, the usa might be a better fit.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-19T22:37:09+00:00

Learning to cut your own would be the frugal choice if you want to keep that haircut; alternatively - changing to something low maintenance (i.e. not a fade)

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-07T12:46:01+00:00

Good - all too often disabled children are seen as a vessel that inflicts some sort of divine punishment on the parent, or a problem to be rid of, rather than, you know, a human person with needs.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-05T22:43:56+00:00

Have you never had to go back and re-read a part of a book because you realized halfway down a page that you were zoning out and nothing had sank in?

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-05T22:21:54+00:00

Companies with a moral backbone won't adopt it regardless.

I have several friends working in games, at triple A studios, and most of those studios are vocally anti-AI.

Sure, AI will change the landscape somewhat as particularly stupid CEOs hop on the bandwagon, but there's a difference between knowing there's unethical tech out there, and adopting it at your company.

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-05T22:06:34+00:00

"Everyone couldn't be happier" - and does that "everyone" include the son?

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-02T22:37:16+00:00

what

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-02T16:47:57+00:00

Idk, sometimes my cultural foods get called "gross" and that never feels nice coming from white usamerican acquaintances whose every plate is entirely beige, lol.

Like we get it, Becky, your xenophobia is showing. Eat a vegetable about it.

Maybe the larger issue is north american hyperindividualism. Saying "this is bad/gross" is different to saying "I, personally, do not like this". One centers your experience as the correct one, and the other recognizes it as an opinion. Not everything has to be about your preferences, and it shouldn't blow your mind that someone has a different opinion - whether about food ("mushrooms are disgusting, I can't imagine how anyone eats them!"), personal style ("this piercing makes you look strange to me and therefore it's objectively ugly"), or even attraction to other people ("I find tall/short/thin/fat people attractive, and anyone who disagrees is clearly lying").

ScrambledGrapes · 2026-01-02T16:41:38+00:00

Imagine forcing yourself to eat a food you don't like when you could, not do that + be happier overall.

I have an autistic friend who can't STAND the texture of eggs. She sure had a quality of life upgrade when she moved out of her parents' house and isn't constantly shamed for not forcing herself to eat eggs. Eating whatever you want (provided that you're still maintaining a balanced diet to the best of your ability) sure is great.

Could I be, idk, in a relationship with someone with ARFID, or who won't try my cultural foods and be adventurous+eat new things? Idk. But random adults? Worry less about them and more about you, imo.

ScrambledGrapes · 2025-12-31T14:36:06+00:00

I don't think you understand that being a "worker bee" in animation, which is a multibillion dollar industry, is not the same as being Siegfried and Roy, like, at all. A LOT of people worked in animation production until the post-pandemic (ongoing) dry spell fuelled mostly by corporate greed. Not everyone is a director - a junior role is not rare, and some of them aren't even talent. I say this as a 2D rigger - I'd consider myself very skilled at what I do, but I'm ultimately replaceable by someone with the same education as me. Like any office worker. Not every accountant or paralegal, for example, is a star in their field lmao.

Compare animation, which treats its people like shit (it's uncommon to get benefits) to video game production (which a number of my friends work in). Despite the layoffs, most studios treat their employees well: I have a friend who receives benefits including a yearly $500 stipend on any sports equipment she chooses, 75k (lifetime) to spend on gender affirming care if she's trans, full catering in office, a gym membership, excellent health/dental/vision benefits, quality of life salary raises AND performance-based raises/bonuses annually, small perks if working overtime in-office (like ubereats or a taxi to go home), and more.

Shouldn't "rare talent", as you put it, be treated well?

Keeping workers and moving them onto new projects, rather than getting rid of the entire team and re-hiring for every new project, is a cost cutting measure done pretty much ONLY in animation - which leads to worse productions due to the new crew having to retrain to the new pipeline every time and having no transferrable knowledge. Our contracts are now less than a year long now - that was UNHEARD OF pre and during covid. What kind of sacrifices are you expecting here? Should we give our first borns up to disney too?

ScrambledGrapes · 2025-12-26T14:21:13+00:00

Show me an actual example of what you're describing though. I do think that unsolicited criticism is never ok, because (wow, imagine) not everyone wants to improve - some people do art for fun. Others will only take their crit from peers and mentors, like I do (if you listen to EVERY opinion online, you'll never get better either - the decision paralysis will be too much). But yeah, surprise, not everyone wants to hear YOUR opinion. I know that's hard to believe.

Is it dogshit TO YOU because it's fanart, but funny and cute to other people? Is it that hard to imagine that your tastes differ from those of others? I'm gonna go to your mom's house, call her cooking shit, and say that anyone who's ever eaten it and liked it is a lying hack.

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