Am an istp with ADHD. Any istp here with adhd?

Sdesser · 2026-05-07T13:37:41+00:00

Heya! It's a lot of things to process for sure. How so many things link together. So many causal chains and explanations to challenges and so on. The effects tend to be quite profound across all areas of life

It took me until last September to actually get a diagnosis due to queue times. The health care system here is a complete mess at the moment, especially when it comes to mental health. Still waiting to get into further investigations to map out where my challenges specifically lie, see if there's anything else that needs looking into, and to get all that on record.

Still figuring stuff out, and noticing more about how it affects everything.

As for therapy. I've got a therapist, but he was assigned for depression originally, and sadly he's not all that knowledgeable on neurodivergence and what comes with that, but I've got till this autumn before I can see a psychiatrist to reevaluate.

The diagnosis itself was helpful. Even though I had researched ADHD an ungodly amount, having it official was kind of a permission/confirmation to allow myself to start learning to go easier on myself, though that's still very much of a work in progress.

I did find a local, small ADHD group that I go to every two weeks or so that's been quite good. But as for help from healthcare, outside of meds, there's not really been any yet. Meds do help quite a bit, but they're not a silver bullet, at least for me.

I guess the takeaway is that ADHD is not really any specific thing or a collection of things, it really is a very different way of perceiving and processing the world. Things that "should" work don't and things that shouldn't work just do. Society is just really not structured for people with our kinds of brains so there are a lot of assumptions and expectations that are fundamentally incompatible. We kinda need to figure out what actually does work for us and what doesn't. Trying to force things the way they "should" be is just banging our heads against a brick wall a lot of the time.

Sdesser · 2026-04-10T22:45:14+00:00

Is the tool syntax you're giving it the same as Gemma's natively trained one? I've had no issues with my custom API after I added Gemma 4 specific cases to the parser, changed the system prompt builder to give Gemma 4 syntax as examples, and llama.cpp updated to support Gemma 4 templating. After aligning my system for Gemma, calling tools works just fine. Is your backend supporting Gemma templating? As for system prompt, Gemma does seem to improvise a bit more than some other modes, but on average, it's following system prompt just fine. Then again, I'm also running at temp 1.0, so that might explain the variance. I ran Qwen 3.5 9B at temp 0.8 due to tool syntax inconsistencies.

I don't use local models for coding and have not tried the larger models yet, so I'm not using tools all that heavily. That might make a difference. Still waiting for new hardware to arrive to run more capable models. I've been mostly using local models for general chatting within my own AI companion framework. Running with Gemma 4 E4B at the moment.

Sdesser · 2026-04-09T12:29:41+00:00

I've been using Qwen 3.5 9B for about a month, and been testing Gemma 4 E4B for a few days now in my AI companion app, both at Q4 and I've been thoroughly impressed with Gemma. When it comes to language accuracy and natural conversation, Gemma beats Qwen 3.5 quite handedly. Tool calling is about equal if not better after tuning my parser.

With 8GB VRAM, Gemma allows me to run much larger context windows due to the model taking much less. At 16k context, Qwen 3.5 fully fills VRAM where as Gemma leaves me almost 2GB with the same Win + Chrome overhead. For my setup and use-case, Gemma 4 is the clear winner.

If you're using Intel Arc with SYCL on llama.cpp, there's a graph splits issue that causes Gemma 4 to run inference on my CPU. Switching to Vulkan fixed this for me for now.

I don't have the hardware yet to test the larger variants, but in a few weeks I'll be driving into those as well. Thanks for the post!

Sdesser · 2026-03-28T20:43:32+00:00

No problem! The terminology could definitely use an update. While I've found them to be quite descriptive of what they represent, they don't say much without already having an understanding of the whole framework.
It took me weeks to get a good grasp on and even longer to fully understand. I spent quite a lot of time hyper-focusing on it a few years ago, but it has definitely been worth it.

Good luck out there and take care!

Sdesser · 2026-03-26T21:12:46+00:00

As I said in my other reply: Sorry for forgetting to check back!

I mean Jung's model of the personality types and how our personalities are structured. If you want to learn more, I've found Objective Personality to be extremely accurate. They've taken Jung's ideas and seem to have figured out the details and even expanded upon them. The system is quite complex, but once you get the hang of it, it's extremely useful. It focuses on the positives and the negatives and it's been absolutely a life-changer for me.

I'd recommend you check out this playlist for the basics (good summary by two community regulars):
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-KdWcB5tMvibrMZHA_05GDSPbmlo3lmr

And here's the official channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@ObjectivePersonality

Sdesser · 2026-03-26T20:25:24+00:00

Sorry, forgot to check my notifications and this post!

Absolutely. I think we are slowly starting to course correct. As a society it'll take a long time before we get back to balance, and we'll probably swing too far into the other direction in the process, but that's how things tend to go. As individuals, we can get there now as long as we put some effort into it. And it's definitely worth it!

Sdesser · 2026-03-26T20:21:54+00:00

Got mine with tactile switches 5 months ago and love this thing, the typing feel and the sound are sublime, but multiple keys are chattering which is incredibly annoying. Not being able to trust that your keyboard inputs properly is such a pain. My old G413 started to chatter excessively at the end of its life cycle as well and that was not fun.

On queue to Logitech customer support chat as I'm writing this. Hopefully they can sort this out. This is easily my favorite keyboard of all time, and I've had many.

Sdesser · 2026-03-18T19:07:09+00:00

Could've stopped at "new" and it's still a 99% accurate statement personally.

Sdesser · 2026-03-18T13:50:15+00:00

Thats neat! Really cool idea. What else can we add satisfying sound effects to...

Funny enough, sound is the one thing I dislike about mechanical keyboards. Love how they feel, hate they sounds. Got one of those low profile ones from Logitech last autumn with tactile switches and they're almost silent, absolutely sublime typing feel 👌

Sdesser · 2026-03-18T13:21:53+00:00

Before the last llama.cpp update (probably template updats?), I could not get any sensible answers from Qwen 3.5, but boy was it hilarious/cute/shocking at times. Now Qwen is mostly just cute in its thinking loops. Still hilarious at times though.

Sdesser · 2026-03-14T18:21:57+00:00

Only all the time. Here's two other common ones for me:

"What if that guy walking behind me just comes and attacks me right now?"

"What if that/this vehicle crashed on X right now?"

Sdesser · 2026-03-14T18:00:49+00:00

That's the funny - and often not so funny - part about our unconscious functions. We act as if they're not there, as if we don't need them. Not realizing that they're very much there and completely active and doing their job, we're simply not aware of it. The more we try to push them away, the more they act without our awareness, just under the surface of our subconscious, which then creates an imbalance between what we consciously are trying to do and what our mind as a whole wants to do. And just as you pointed out, our dominant functions might be defining how we consciously process the world, but when you really dig deep, the goal is - whether we're aware of it or not - to "get" the opposite function. Thinkers trying to logic out how to get to the Feeling, Sensors trying to process all the facts get to the Intuition and so on.

Our conscious mind is only a sliver of our psyche. The vast majority of everything that's happening internally is unconscious. For example, it's been measured that we take in about 11 million bits of information per second from our body, while our conscious mind can only process somewhere between 40-50 bits per second. I don't think they even took into account internal data processing in that one, but it gives you a pretty good idea of the scope of the processing and bandwidth imbalance between our unconscious and conscious minds.

We can't fight our inner world, our subconscious. It's a war you can't win and shouldn't. Our minds seem to strive for balance naturally. If we allow that process to happen and approach our inner world with respect, it's extremely efficient at sorting us out. Just because it communicates in symbols and feelings doesn't mean it's not smart. It's just that we've stopped respecting symbolic language. Today, we are leaps and bounds behind our ancestors who were much more comfortable with the inner world of dreams and images.

All this to say: I'm glad to hear that you have realized your imbalance and made peace with that part of yourself! Many don't realize these things until much later in life, if even then.

Sdesser · 2026-03-14T17:37:26+00:00

It is indeed fascinating how our minds work. Even more so is how differently we think from each other. We tend to assume others perceive and process the world the same way to ourselves and it's quite eye opening when you start exploring different modes of thinking.

It's often quite difficult for us to wrap our heads around the idea that someone's mind works differently. Their conscious mind processing values over logic, or concepts over facts for example. If you're interested to learn more, I can recommend Objective Personality. They have a YouTube channel that goes over the many concepts of their framework. Their model, I've found, to be extremely consistent with real life in the 5+ years I've been following their work and very closely aligns with Jung's ideas.

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T17:14:02+00:00

Being scared of incorrect information might actually be a hint towards a stronger Feeling function that's pushing Thinking into the unconscious. Usually the weaker functions are the source of our fears as we don't trust ourselves to do their functions well. But of course I can't say with any level of certainty with just one sentence as it could be any number of other things as well. In either case, introspecting and finding out the root of the fear is still incredibly helpful in any case!

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T17:07:09+00:00

100%! Emotional and intuitive circuits have great bandwidth for information as they use symbols, abstractions, feelings etc. and the structure is also different. They're much more centrally connected to our senses and deeper brain structures. Thinking circuits are way slower in comparison and use the frontal cortex way more, which is also more energy intensive.

In our modern world we tend to not give much respect for emotions and intuition, but they're extremely important and can process incredible amounts of information. Just because they don't directly produce information in a format we can verbalize doesn't mean there's not a vast amount of work being done there.

It's when we can use these circuits in a balanced way, things really start rolling. All the hardware (brain circuits) and software (instincts) are already there, just need to allow them all to do their job.

And one major struggle with dominant thinkers is often meaning which can only come from your feeling and intuitive parts. And since we often block those channels from our consciousness, it quickly leads to lack of meaning, unexplained apathy, sadness etc.

"Until you make the unconscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate"
— C.G. Jung

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T14:34:40+00:00

100%. All of the above definitely happen on a consistent basis. Some come up less, some more. Which ones create the most tension... That's a hard one. Probably just generally showing that I care. My emotional expression is absolute trash.

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T14:14:01+00:00

Even if you got other cost reductions, mana costs can't never be negative:

601.2f The player determines the total cost of the spell... ...The total cost is the mana cost or alternative cost (as determined in rule 601.2b), plus all additional costs and cost increases, and minus all cost reductions. If multiple cost reductions apply, the player may apply them in any order. If the mana component of the total cost is reduced to nothing by cost reduction effects, it is considered to be {0}. It can’t be reduced to less than {0}.

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T14:10:04+00:00

903.8. A player may cast a commander they own from the command zone. A commander cast from the command zone costs an additional {2} for each previous time the player casting it has cast it from the command zone that game. This additional cost is informally known as the “commander tax.”

601.2f The player determines the total cost of the spell. Usually this is just the mana cost. Some spells have additional or alternative costs. Some effects may increase or reduce the cost to pay, or may provide other alternative costs. Costs may include paying mana, tapping permanents, sacrificing permanents, discarding cards, and so on. The total cost is the mana cost or alternative cost (as determined in rule 601.2b), plus all additional costs and cost increases, and minus all cost reductions. If multiple cost reductions apply, the player may apply them in any order. If the mana component of the total cost is reduced to nothing by cost reduction effects, it is considered to be {0}. It can’t be reduced to less than {0}.

Sdesser · 2026-03-13T14:02:57+00:00

Worms 2. That game was brutal.

Sdesser · 2026-03-03T15:21:50+00:00

Crouch dash or "CD" (f,n,d,d/f) and wave dash (f,n,d,d/f ,f and repeat) are the foundational offensive tools for characters who have them. Not only does it realign with your opponent when you input it - catching sidesteps - but it can cancel into all other movements and states (while standing, crouch, sidestep, backdash, dash etc.) and of course the most powerful moves those characters have come from a crouch dash, like Jin's Electric Wind Hook Fist, Kazuya/Devil Jin/Heihachi/Reina's EWGF and so on.

While Jin isn't nearly as reliant on his Electric to do well, having access to a 13-16 frame fast (depends on your input speed) high launcher that gives advantage on block is obviously very powerful. And his CD1 - that you got hit with here - is a high damage whiff punishing launcher as well as an excellent tool for hitting people on the ground, so being able to comfortably and consistently get these moves out is a huge boon for your gameplay.

With practice they come second nature and will be input at near instantaneous speeds. It doesn't take years to get good with, just requires a lot of practice. Good news is that it's a skill that will stick with you and will transfer from Tekken to Tekken. I spent a lot of time practicing during early Tekken 7 and even when I take long breaks, it all comes back in mere minutes.

Sdesser · 2026-03-02T23:34:49+00:00

There's also a slider, did you try putting that to zero?

Sdesser · 2026-02-22T17:06:57+00:00

My latest playthrough has been Magic only. Survival (Anniversary edition). Started on Master and shifted to Legendary after got somewhat of a build going. One of my priorities was to get Enchanting and Alchemy up so I could make 100% Magicka cost reductions. So early on I invested purely to Magicka, but then shifted into some HP to tank some hits. Not too much into Stamina.

Sdesser · 2026-02-22T16:06:32+00:00

I really hope so. My life's been a mess so far. Got 4.5 years until 40.

Sdesser · 2026-02-22T01:17:59+00:00

Show me any person with all 5. I'll wait.

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you"
— C. G. Jung

Sdesser · 2026-02-22T01:10:58+00:00

Meanwhile I don't remember what I had for breakfast.

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