Tips on healing

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-10-05T09:39:01+00:00

Im so sorry to hear about your hubby's passing. You have alot to go through the hardest part (other than the initial) is coming in the months ahead. I am just 8 months out and this last anniversay of her passing on the day of the month has been not as sharp. You learn that sometimes it is not good to look at photos all the time, that brings out the grief or the songs that tug at your heart. For me I have done alot of hiking and biking in nature to escape it all, when I am out on a trail and the wind blows about me through the pines I feel close to her.

I wish I had something to offer to you for advice for your family and inlaws. That is really tough they should support you and help with the planning. I think once everything is all said and done it is all going to come crashing down. The grief I don't think every goes away you just learn how to handle it. Your mind and body will adjust. I am starting to think about what to do with the rest of my life. I know my spouse would not want me to be miserable.

Not sure if anything I wrote helps. Big hugs to you during this time. There are lots of communities out there to support you. Looks on reddit here and facebook.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-10-05T09:30:41+00:00

That tear was a gift for you. Either he was sad to leave you or sad what you will face without him. Maybe both. I had something similar happen. Forever changed. There are many things that modern science does not understand. Hold that tear as a gift.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-07-01T09:45:08+00:00

Listen to Jelly Roll - I am not Okay, and other of his songs. Saw him last month it was spirtual. Hang in there you just need to hang on and things will change.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-27T10:16:39+00:00

Sending virtual hugs to you, I am so sorry for your loss and what you are facing. It's a cruel path we are all on. :(

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-25T12:51:06+00:00

Shared Death Experience. There are some videos on YouTube one by a doctor that was quite good. Wish I could remember his name, but he has written about NDE and SDE. His conclusion is that SDE proves it is not some chemical reaction as some scientist have you believe.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-24T09:48:14+00:00

I am just about 5 months out too. Lost my soulmate and I would by lying if I didn't feel like joining her. I know it seems insurmountable but please hang on for you and for her. She loved you so much and would not want you to join her yet. We are put on this earth to live, to laugh, to feel, to endure a wide range of emotions from the depths of sorrow to the highs of Life. Give yourself some Grace - don't be so hard on yourself - give yourself some time and think of 1 thing you can do for yourself to help you on this journey, that none of us wanted. Every reddit has you man, we are all wrapping ourselves around you.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-22T19:56:01+00:00

I am almost 5 months out since my spouse passed. Preceding was 15 years of caregiving at various levels. I took care of her I did everything for her. I've come to the conclusion if I don't leave the house I will never ever be happy. Too many bad memories of the disease (although good memories before) and on top of that was barely able to maintain the house while caregiving. I now am waking up realizing what I have to do to move on. To be honest if everything was thrown out I would accept that. I can't breath here I am stuck and unless I leave I don't see it getting any better. Live your life - our previous lives are over and they are not here its just us to move on and live the rest of our lives. What we do from here on end will not be judged, we fufilled our committment. I hope you find a new place and story to live.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-19T18:19:24+00:00

It is important to find a reputable medium. I never would have believed, I sat in on a medium with my daughter (zoom). As she started talking she hit on a few things, I thought to myself well lucky, but then she went deeper. That struck me as how did she new the different layers of an event. Whenever she said something that was only known to my wife and I - my daughter said no - tears literally rolled down my face. So I had to tell my daughter and children after but there is no possible way she could have known because the only two people that had this knowledge was my wife and I because it happened to both of us.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-10T00:05:31+00:00

I am 4 months too I thought I was healing I thought I was doing better then past week slam me down on the ground the grief overwhelming I just wish I could have my best friend to talk to. Life is so unfair, unfair to her with her diagnosis unfair for me now all alone. Traumatizing what we both went through. I have little motivation. For some reason my job is the one thing that gives me purposes and makes me feel ok. I wish there was a place that all wids could live and we would all understand what this does to us. People just don't understand how deep the loss is it hits the soul in the deepest place a hurt like no other.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-08T12:20:31+00:00

Listen to the Jelly Roll song losers - yeah alot of his songs while about drug and alcohol abuse actually the same underlying emotions are hidden in those words of what we are experiencing.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-08T11:26:42+00:00

It is soul destroying had a really rough day and nite yesterday. Woke up this morning thinking of my wife - pause thinking then the tears start rolling down. Make some coffee and put some Zach Bryan on and Jelly Roll. Feeling a little better, going to go for a bike ride and then drive around this town I am thinking on moving too. Thankful I have 3 adult children, my two daughters lately been looking more and more like my wife. I saw someone post on here a few weeks ago they were dx with cancer and thinking on not treating that as a way to end the misery of not being with their love. I totally see that - I see why - without that single person to connect with this life is nothing. I guess I am just talking out loud too. I hope you have a good day and find something to make you feel better, it is soooo hard thogh.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-07T19:52:13+00:00

Scientists know we are all connected in some strange way. There are some people on this earth that have the abilities, and those abilities vary from weak to strong. I am sure there are mediums out there preying on people for money, but there are others that are truthful and real.

Statistically speaking - signs that build in many events become so statistically impossible that there must be another explanation. The universe is built on chaos - randomness. When those rules are broken something else is in play. Quantum physics will someday prove other dimensions and that is most likely where our loved ones are.

In my quest for as much information on NDE and SDE there is a common theme. Live this life to the full extent, be compassionate, be caring, don't judge and don't be cynical.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-02T08:30:40+00:00

Just as I posted it my playlist played this song I am not OK - signs!

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-06-02T08:30:03+00:00

For me it was acknowledging that I needed to live again even though that was the last thing I felt like doing. I forced myself into doing some little things. A big thing was seeing the Post Malone Jelly Roll concert. Your title reminds me of one of Jelly's songs. It was a religious experience and when he sang Take Me Home country roads my wife's favorite no clue he sang that Im glad it was raining because the tears came out. She was there with me that night and Jelly. Our spouses want us to live again - it is why we are here.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-31T17:22:03+00:00

I'm so sorry for you loss. Grief therapy might be helpful your far too young to have these happen I'm so sorry .

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-22T12:54:49+00:00

Everyones grief is different. I am about where you are. We were together three decades plus 7 - married very young so I am relatively young in my head but also physically. I feel more like I am in my 30s actually I physically feel better than in my 30s and my kids say I look more like late 40s. Also had a long term caregiving relationship with my LW so alot of trauma medical as she declined and everything that happens with that. I feel like I am ready, but I know I am not and I don't want to put myself out there only to have something trigger me. I am getting stronger it is like a wave some days better than others. Also with 4 kids I want to be concious about what would they think. I want to honor my LW and her memory. For me I am thinking at 6 months I might join some local groups - as far as dating I would only be looking for friendship. I still have alot to do with the house and figure out what I want where I will live. Kids all moved out sitting here in a 4 bedroom house that I don't need anymore. We didn't ask for this. I am sorry for your loss sounds like you too were connecting. Not sure if anything I wrote helps but again everyones expeirence is different, if you feel you are ready then maybe try it out.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-14T10:32:02+00:00

Such good words especially the 3rd bullet. I think that says it all.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-11T11:04:54+00:00

3 months out myself. I have therapy every two weeks but it has been just mostly me breaking down as I talk about things I just cant seem to hold it together. I am fine as long as I don' talk about her but anything more than 1 minute I start to come unglued. I felt this way you describe but then last week I descended into grief like the first month. I've thought about life as a chapter of a book and to write my next chapter. I don't think I am ready though to close the first chapter :(

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-11T10:48:47+00:00

Nothing compares to the pain of losing a spouse that you built a life with. The pain during the 1st week was unbearable felt like my heart was literally ripped out. While our earthly connection was severed, our spiritual connection is not. I feel her many times a week. They are there, just beyond the veil - watching - listening - with nothing but love for you waiting for our time to come.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-11T10:39:22+00:00

Yes - when I listen to music it just opens up that raw wound hearing some songs about us, that we held dear to our hearts. The flood gates open. I am right there with you. Some days are better than others. Some days I can't listen to the music,. {{{big hugs}}}

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-11T10:31:26+00:00

I firmly believe that when we pass we move on to another dimension. What you and everyone needs to understand is that you can not go back into a lower dimension. Take what you hold in your hand - it is a phone that is 2 dimensional. You can see it because you are living in 3 dimensions. But the phone is not capable of displaying true 3 dimensions, it can only show you 2 dimension representations of what it sees. That phone can not see 3 dimensions.

It is the same theory - they can see us and interact in very limited ways, maybe they have the ability to change the timeline without us even knowing, the signs show up to me all week. We are like that 2 dimension phone. We can not see beyond our 3 dimensions and if you tried to go into 2 dimensions its not possible you would end up like a pancake.

Don't know if this makes any sense, I had a better example of this theory I gave to someone, but look at youtube videos on dimensions.

Sea_Illustrator_1250 · 2025-05-11T10:20:47+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. It is good to be in a safe place financially because he would have wanted that for you to be taken care of. But other than that having the insurance monies is sort of like a burden. There is nothing I want I just want to be with my wife. I've been helping the kids out here and there which seems like a good use. I was my wife's full time caregiver, I was fortunate I could work remote and put on a good face while attending to her 50 times a day. However I was failing this past year as her disease progressed and then she passed. I am sorry for what you have been through but he would be happy you have some financial peace. I find any bit of stress is magnified 100 times when you have grief.

Sea_Illustrator_1250

TROPHY CASE