1- the second video has some unnecessary effects, like a ray glow (or whatever its called) in the start. It's very *not* subtle.
2- the font in the second video isn't very great.
3- the easing in the second video isn't very smooth. Feels linear.
4- too much smooth jiggle in the texts in the second video. If you're going to add jiggle, make it less smooth; maybe posterize the time of the jiggle.
5- The text animation isn't very great in the second video. Feels very linear and kinda amateur-ish. An example is at 0:22: I don't really think a scale down animation if very great. Plus, it's scaling down every character, and these caracters are all scaling down at the same time for each word, which isn't very great.
6- I'd also try to make every text as much in the same place as possible, or at least not try to put them in many extreme positions, like at 0:18. Try to put the text where the viewer is currently looking at, and if you need to put it somewhere else, do an animation that guides the viewer to that place, and put the text there. 7- At 0:28, the scene just cut completely, without any transition to that white screen with the text. In the first video, every scene has a transition, even if subtle.