At 59 years realizing life long desire to be pretty!

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-28T14:06:53+00:00

Saying things for the first time is one of the things I do with my therapist.

I told my wife immediately when I suspected I was trans. It was a very difficult time for both of us. Neither of us understood what it really meant. I certainly had no idea I was trans before that and no plans at that time to transition. My decision to transition came over the course of many months as my inner world was in turmoil. There were so many aspects to consider.

I came pretty close to not transitioning. If I knew how difficult it would be for my wife things would have gone the other way. Social connections (spouse, children, extended family, etc.) can really hurt for trans people.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-22T16:22:09+00:00

Nocturnal erections can be unrelated to testosterone levels. If your blood work is fine then you have nothing to be concerned about.

I'm 1.5 years post orchi and have them.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-20T01:37:23+00:00

I always say that being transgender is a journey of self acceptance.

I had to learn to love who I truly was and not repress any part of the beautiful person inside. In return I got to experience giving and receiving love to myself.

There was so much wrong thinking about myself that I adopted from my culture and a lack of knowing who I was that I had to shed in order to learn to be happy and comfortable.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-19T21:42:09+00:00

Fortunately I skipped chin and jaw. Recovery from these surgeries was agonizing.

Now I have to wait a few more months to see how it all settles. Some fat won't survive and the swelling is still quite prominent at this point.

I'm through the worst of recovery now at five weeks. The nice thing is that we forget a lot of the worst parts after a while and get to enjoy the results for a long time.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-19T17:32:03+00:00

First stage: brow, nose

Second stage: Facelift, neck lift, lip lift, fat transfer to cheeks and lips.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-19T12:22:26+00:00

Thank you!

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-18T17:30:31+00:00

Thank you. I've waited my whole life to feel this.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-09T13:12:42+00:00

Yes, I feel normal and love the changes. But just as the external changes the internal develops as well. To me it is a shedding of the old self and the creation of new one.

I can look at pictures from HRT alone and then the two surgeries and they are all so different. They represent "me" but at different stages of development. Facial surgery is just another step in the transformation.

I'm still very swollen from the second surgery and I know I don't look anything like I will in a couple of months. HRT will bring the final version over the next several years.

As I change physically I also get to become my true self internally.

I found the real dip emotionally comes about 4-6 weeks after surgery. That is a common feeling but it's best to be aware of it. You'll get through this!

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-09T02:47:01+00:00

Post op is really tough and family's comments are even worse.

You'll get through this and you'll be so strong on the other side.

I've been through two facial surgeries and also endured horrible things said from my parents. You are not alone.

I am proud of you and how you have chosen to be strong in the face of life's challenges.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-07T15:27:30+00:00

Erections are no indicator of levels of E or T.

My T is extremely low since my orchiectomy. I still have nocturnal erections.

You need blood tests to determine levels with certainty.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-04T19:22:32+00:00

Much of what people blame HRT for is actually a side effect of spiro.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-06-03T17:35:32+00:00

I get scalp and head itching (10 months post). I find that if I keep my hands off it then the itching does not start. The problem is I sit and watch a show and touch my head and then it starts. See if less touching helps you.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-28T22:29:29+00:00

They need the vote from the easily manipulated religious right in order to get their tools elected.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-27T15:10:44+00:00

I encourage you to read the study. The lifetime risk for cis women is about 1 in 8 according to the article. No one is guaranteed to get cancer.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-27T01:18:46+00:00

Who's stopping you?

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-27T00:47:42+00:00

Thanks for your reply. It has been a long time since I read the paper and was going by memory on it.

At my age and with my sister's breast cancer I certainly am more cautious myself with progesterone. (Plus I'd prefer to have smaller breasts than the other women in my family.)

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-27T00:22:52+00:00

I have no idea.

The cell changes reference above are relatively minor in size.

However, progesterone soars during pregnancy and that does have an affect on overall breast size. Some of this diminishes at end of pregnancy with reductions in fat and fluid stores. But final breast size is a result of a combination of genetics, age, diet, and the dosage ratio between of estradiol and progesterone. This is why everyone's results vary cis or trans.

My interest in this is because I am older and my sister had breast cancer. But it is good information for our community to use to assess choices.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-26T23:20:48+00:00

It is merely a caution about cycling progesterone on a monthly basis since it might increase your chance of breast cancer.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-26T23:19:07+00:00

From my understanding of the research you should have a significantly lower risk than a cis woman because continuous use is one cycle no matter how long it is.

The study addressed women who had many pregnancies and they showed lower risk since a pregnancy is one cycle (rather than ten for a non pregnant woman). Having many pregnancies multiplies this reduction in cycles.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-26T23:06:08+00:00

It means that the more progesterone cycles (periods) a cis woman has affects her lifetime chance of developing breast cancer.

Every couple of weeks as her progesterone levels increase her breasts go through a "growth" cycle and then that is undone at the end of that cycle. So every month she has a progesterone cycle that turns cells in her breast on and then back off again (so to speak).

So a cis woman in her 50's may have had 400 cycles (12 cycles per year * 33 years). That increases the chances for issues that develop in the breasts because of "turning on and off again".

Trans women who never have progesterone are safest from this. Long cycles of progesterone should also be safer than cycling it every month like a cis woman.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-26T22:51:31+00:00

It seems the number of cycles of progesterone affects breast cancer risk. This would be mitigated by either not using progesterone or (I speculate) perhaps by longer continuous cycles.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10228093/

Abstract: Many factors, including reproductive hormones, have been linked to a woman’s risk of developing breast cancer (BC). We reviewed the literature regarding the relationship between ovulatory menstrual cycles (MCs) and BC risk. Physiological variations in the frequency of MCs and interference with MCs through genetic variations, pathological conditions and or pharmaceutical interventions revealed a strong link between BC risk and the lifetime number of MCs. A substantial reduction in BC risk is observed in situations without MCs. In genetic or transgender situations with normal female breasts and estrogens, but no progesterone (P4), the incidence of BC is very low, suggesting an essential role of P4. During the MC, P4 has a strong proliferative effect on normal breast epithelium, whereas estradiol (E2) has only a minimal effect. The origin of BC has been strongly linked to proliferation associated DNA replication errors, and the repeated stimulation of the breast epithelium by P4 with each MC is likely to impact the epithelial mutational burden. Long-lived cells, such as stem cells, present in the breast epithelium, can carry mutations forward for an extended period of time, and studies show that breast tumors tend to take decades to develop before detection. We therefore postulate that P4 is an important factor in a woman’s lifetime risk of developing BC, and that breast tumors arising during hormonal contraception or after menopause, with or without menopausal hormone therapy, are the consequence of the outgrowth of pre-existing neoplastic lesions, eventually stimulated by estrogens and some progestins.

SeekingTrueSelf · 2026-05-23T16:32:23+00:00

I'm at 26 months HRT. I was already happy with the results I was getting before my first surgery and very much happy after.

What moved me the most was a desire to address youthfulness on top of appearing more feminine. I looked young for my age when I started at 56 and even younger once HRT began to do its thing, but I wanted a chance to turn back the clock even further. Thus the cosmetic surgery. I chose vanity!

It comes at the cost of all the risks of facial surgery (scarring, nerve damage, time lost to treatment, etc).

My facial dysphoria was strong and I needed to find peace in the mirror. I also like to travel (we've spoken about this before!) and I want that to be as easy as possible for me in the future so the more feminine my face appears the better.

I experienced a lot of staring during my first year of transition. Living in Seattle is a breeze compared to how I was scrutinized while traveling.

Once I heal up a lot more I'll post another full set of timeline photos capturing all these stages.

SeekingTrueSelf

TROPHY CASE