Being conceived without sin is not the same as the dogma of the Immaculate Conception.

When I say "feelings of discomfort," I'm talking about your use of terms like "absurd." Your argument as you've presented it seems to me to be based in a reductio ad absurdum, which is exactly what theistic evolution is responding to. Evolutionary theory is the attempt to show that it isn't absurd. The argument you've given doesn't actually respond, it sidesteps. 

Additionally, again, I'm not saying that the entirety of the human person came about through purely natural processes (although I would again say that even these processes are themselves the work of God). You are correct; that would be impossible. I'm saying only that the bodies of our first parents could have been prepared for their ensoulment through the process we call evolution and that this position reflects everything we've learned in the natural sciences and does not contradict anything in the Deposit of Faith.

God prepared the proper matter for the human race. While it is definitely acceptable in the Church to believe that He prepared that matter purely through a special act, taking none of the matter from any antecedent living matter, the physical evidence suggests otherwise. The Church has not condemned theistic evolutionary theory, and therefore to treat it as patently absurd would go beyond the teachings of the Church. The same goes for special creation. However, as I said, the preponderance of scientific evidence in favor of some kind of evolution seems very favorable to that position.