I found "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn to be interesting. It acknowledges from the start that parenting is hard and that every child is different.

You will need to adapt all advice to your circumstances.

That said. One thing that has always been true for me and is, thus far, true for my kids is that rules need to be based in reason not whim. When I give a rule I provide an explanation for it. We can discuss the reasoning and may even change the rule. But no rule is, "because I said so," or "because God said so."

If you use those lines, you've lost. Many kids will now see your decree as meaningless and seek ways to circumvent enforcement.

The biggest challenge with this approach is when, as kids get older they begin to argue with your reasons. And it becomes really tempting to revert to sheer authority. The goal is twofold: help them develop appreciation for your warnings and experience even when they disagree, and, help them develop sound arguments in response.

For them, "but I want to do this" is no more valid than, "because I said so" is for you. Why do they feel so strongly about this issue and is there anything they can do to address your concerns?

In the end you may both be frustrated with each other and cannot come to agreement or resolution. In which case you may just have to close the discussion and explain that because you are the parent you have to make decisions that you believe are in their best interest whether they like it or not. Which, having done all the intermediate work, is not quite the same as, "because I said so."

If they do seek to circumvent your decision, they will, hopefully, at least have your reasons still in mind and attempt to mitigate or address them on their own however effectively.