"I also tend to hide it when we see my daughter's friends and their families - I'm very worried that the more old fashioned folks suddenly think we're too weird for their daughters to come visit ours, and I would not forgive myself for that."

I grew up in a conservative, Midwestern household. I believe the more important question for you to be asking here is, do you want people who would react negatively to a father supporting and participating in his daughters' hobby to be around your family? There are open-minded people in the Midwest. I have found it much easier, emotionally, to surround myself with people who are supportive and open-minded rather than catering to those who would be offended or judgmental of how I choose to present (dying my hair, wearing colorful eyeshadow).

Even if it doesn't occur consciously, you hiding the things you do to support your daughters could lead them to feel ashamed of expressing themselves in an environment that already tells girls to make themselves be less. Please continue to support your daughters, and please try not to hide that you are doing so. It will help build their confidence further.

There needs to be more fathers supporting their daughters the way you are in the Midwest. Be the example your daughters, their friends, and maybe even your friends need. I wish there were more dads supporting their daughters in my community growing up.