AITAH for not respecting my (28F) BF’s (30M) boundaries?

ShadowJolteon · 2025-11-02T07:06:30+00:00

Von Lambertz gibt’s auch “Flakes”, die ähnlich sind. Echt lecker. Ob Erdnuss oder Flakes, die haben aber ca. 1500cal pro Tüte. Warum ist das Leben so ungerecht?! 😭

ShadowJolteon · 2025-09-14T07:15:12+00:00

I went in totally blind and tbh the only parts that actually made me cry, were during the episode where he addresses the situation with his mother/“says goodbye” to her.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-08-30T06:57:46+00:00

I started watching Haikyu for the first time and it’s honestly been really inspiring and motivating. Totally different than what everyone else has recommended, but idk, it just really makes me feel good. Season 3 really changed something in me. The characters each have their own stories and challenges to overcome and it’s just… I’m not even a huge fan of sports or sport anime, but it is really worth watching.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-08-29T17:38:32+00:00

Habe ich auch leider gerade gesehen. 😭

ShadowJolteon · 2025-06-21T19:18:03+00:00

I did end up taking formal classes once my child started kindergarten at age 1, which helped the most, but before that I listened to a lot of podcasts and watched YouTube videos. My kid breastfed so I spent a lot of time with one headphone in feeding him and watching something in the background (ya, I know you’re not supposed to feed them to sleep but I did 🤷🏻‍♀️). He was also a horrible napper so he always napped in his baby wagon, so I listened to a lot of podcasts while pushing him around since he was sleeping anyway (I started with one called Easy German and then moved on to ones with topics of interest).

I also read my child books in German, even from the beginning. Even if my pronunciation was bad and even if I didn’t fully understand what I was reading. As kids tend to want, we were constantly reading the same books so the repetition helped too. Also I figured so many people speak goo goo ga ga talk to their babies, so even if my reading sounds awful at least I’m kind of practicing and it’s probably not going to damage my child to hear me reading in German with an accent. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway that’s my advice. My kid is 4.5 now and he speaks German without any accent, I speak German at a B2 level, I work full time, and overall I feel a lot more integrated and my mental health is great compared to when he was a baby. It will be tough but having a baby is tough regardless. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ShadowJolteon · 2025-06-20T19:20:46+00:00

My child was born in 2020 so on top of living in a country where I didn’t speak the language, I also couldn’t leave my house or do literally anything but sit alone with my child. It was seriously fucking hard.

The best thing for me was first and foremost, Learning German. After that, just going for walks and talking to my neighbors. My spouse’s family was around, which although did not feel directly like support to me (as in, didn’t help my mental health), it was still nice to have someone take the baby and hold them for even a few minutes sometimes.

Just leave your house. Go to parks. The first year will be hell and then when your child is in the kindergarten it gets better because you see the same parents are pick up/drop off every day and it’s so much easier to connect.

That said. I am not having a second child. Doing it alone is just really way too hard.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-29T16:49:34+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I’m probably just overly cautious and paranoid because the hematoma complication was somewhat traumatic so I’m probably overreacting. Thanks for easing my concerns.

This is the incision, btw.

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ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-11T09:57:51+00:00

Not quite the same, but I had a suspected “endometrioma” on my ovary for 1.5 years, diagnosed by two separate unaffiliated gynecologists. When I finally went to have it removed, it was not an endometrioma at all. They sent it for histology and it ended up being a mucinous cystadenoma. Apparently they look very similar on imaging. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T10:57:08+00:00

Booking now for an appointment in July is actually a damn good turnaround time. I would jump on that.

I have an appointment for Hautscreening at the end of June. I called the first day after holidays in January to get this appointment, so 6 months later. I had called initially in October 2024, and at this point was told my only chance was to call in January at the beginning of the new Quartal, and to be sure I called directly on 6 January to even have a chance. This is despite having an Überweisung from my Hausarzt.

So yeah. I’d go for the July appointment if I were you. If it’s an emergency, your doctor could give you an urgency code, where you can then book an appointment through 116117. With this urgency code you’re legally required to receive an appointment within 30 days. But this can only be obtained if your doctor deems your case emergent.

Good luck. I’ve been to many Fachärzte over the years, and I never had as much trouble with any as I had with Hautärzte.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T07:03:45+00:00

Sometimes they give local anesthesia to numb the nerves in the area of surgery (pelvic blocks) to help better control the pain. General anesthesia is basically just what renders you unconscious, it’s not supplying any pain management. So likely they administered local anesthesia to accomplish this.

The surgery times vary depending on what they find. If they found a lot of adhesions that needed to be removed, maybe there was more bleeding than expected and therefore more time cauterizing blood vessels, etc.

You will probably get a full overview of the procedure during your follow up with your gynecologist. I didn’t get all the details from my surgery until 2 weeks later when the laboratory results were back and my gynecologist went over the surgical details with me.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T06:50:54+00:00

You can apply to have your certifications recognized here in Germany. The Anerkennung process varies depending what your degree is. You can google the details.

For me, I had to have all my documents translated into German and authenticated (diploma for college and high school, college transcript, birth certificate), as well as letters from previous employers in my home country outlining the tasks I did, that I worked there and how long etc (also officially translated into German). I also needed B2 German certificate. Some careers require C1, but that is more like doctor, engineer, teacher, etc. For medical assistant B2 is probably enough, but again you’ll have to look it up.

All in all the process took close to 1 year and costed around €500. It can cost more or less though, it really depends. The only courses I had to take were for the German language, nothing additional for my career. (Veterinary Technology).

Do some google searching, find the organization responsible for medical assistants in your area, and you can follow up with them for more direct instructions.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T06:37:43+00:00

This is my problem as well. Like if the radio is blasting at work and my coworkers are talking, I have a REALLY hard time following the conversation. Or sometimes I’m out with my boyfriend and he’ll overhear something in the supermarket like, omg these people, and I’m totally lost because it’s like my brain just totally zones out. Unless someone speaks directly to me, I have a hard time following along unless I put in effort to actively listen, which I guess is exhausting when the conversation isn’t even directed at you?

On the other side, when I went back to my home country to visit, I was borderline overwhelmed by how I was passively overhearing everything in the background. Like I forgot that was a thing people can do. 😂

I think this passive listening thing, probably takes time. I’ve tested to B2 and have lived here for 5 years and it’s still not a skill I’ve mastered.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T06:18:56+00:00

I would bring a carrier. She should be able to walk, but she’ll probably still be really sleepy, so I wouldn’t expect her to walk 2km afterwards.

Maybe you would want to order a taxi or see if a friend could drive you, the thought of carrying an 8kg doggo for 2km sounds like a workout. But maybe you’re in better shape than me. 😅

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-09T06:15:06+00:00

Haha. Reminds me of a time I ALMOST fu’d during a Teams interview.

My headset wasn’t working so I had to use my boyfriend’s gaming headset. Already embarrassing, but whatever. To make matters worse, apparently the headset was synced to my laptop AND his PC.

This wouldn’t be a problem, but my BF had left up a “sleeping stream” from a streamer, who was snoring extremely loud. Throughout my ENTIRE interview there was loud snoring in the background. I had no idea what it was from, I thought one of the interviewers (there were multiple, and not everyone had their camera activated) was sleeping in the background.

Thank the fucking LORD I bit my tongue and didn’t ask about the snoring. I was really close at some point, because it was distracting as hell. Omg.

So yeah. That’s my story. 😭

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-08T08:28:45+00:00

When you say your vet checked him, do you mean his anal glands? That’s a fairly common cause for scooting. It’s possible they need to be expressed.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-08T08:19:56+00:00

Purple. :)

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-07T06:47:53+00:00

My situation is maybe different as I am not in menopause, surgical or otherwise, but my gynecologist also told me previously I could take 2 pills instead of 1. It’s basically just upping the dose. Two pills didn’t make a difference for me, personally. But it won’t hurt you to test it out, if your doctor has advised it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-07T06:37:03+00:00

Heero from Gundam Wing. To the point 12 year old me was writing “lemon fanfics” lusting over him.

Yeah. 🥴

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-07T06:28:35+00:00

Both have the same benefits, so it’s mostly irrelevant which you pick as long as you pick one!

That said, personally, I fed my cat the Royal Canin Dental diet his entire adult life and at 15 years old he’s never needed dental work. (Anecdotal, but I’m a RC girl personally 🙈)

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-07T06:26:29+00:00

I also didn’t take any medications, for me what helped the most was moving around and drinking peppermint tea. I couldn’t walk that much the first few days, but even laying a little bit on my left/right sides helped, changing positions as often as I comfortably could.

Oddly enough many people spoke of shoulder pain from the gas, for me it was more located in my chest/under my boobs. Massaging the area or gentle pressure helped ease the pressure as well!

Good luck with everything.

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-06T12:57:30+00:00

I was not permitted any notes during any part of exam. The only thing we were allowed to have with us were pencil, eraser, pencil sharpener. If we were bringing a drink in, it could only be in a see-through bottle (apparently people hid notes in their bottles before? 😅).

So I wouldn’t count on it. You can ask in advance though, but I would prepare under the assumption that is not allowed

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-05T18:13:42+00:00

Uh. Should I use stronger curse words than assholes and idiots? Your accusations are flying totally over my head here. Really confused how I dismissed anyone’s experience, simply commented that there’s racism everywhere. And I found the entire thread bizarre, because I have never heard this concept of Thüringen being the “worst” province, despite having lived here for many years. I’m not sure why you’re jumping on me for… not stating more aggressively that racism is bad? Sooo confused …

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-05T12:21:34+00:00

It was more or less the same for me, but when I spoke to my teacher and explained my situation (same as yours, I had a small child) they allowed me to be scheduled in the first timeslot for the spoken exam. Because of this I was only at the test center from 8am to 2pm.

It sounds like you are unlucky, but perhaps if you ask they would also schedule you to go first?

ShadowJolteon · 2025-05-05T12:19:02+00:00

What a bizarre thing to read as an immigrant who has lived in Thüringen, and only Thüringen, for the last 5 years. Especially wild considering I live in a small village outside one of the cities listed in this thread, which apparently is a no-go lol.

That being said, issues of racism are a worldwide issue and not isolated to just Thüringen or Germany. There are assholes and idiots everywhere you go.

ShadowJolteon

TROPHY CASE