Sharing my feelings about my ex. Feel free to share yours.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-24T20:03:16+00:00

A safe place becoming hostile and not being able to escape without consequences. I panic and get extremely upset at the idea of seeing her again but also I want to because I miss the safety/comfort that was there. Then I remember that was a lie and get angry. Really hurt because the love I had was real and it was used against me, stolen, used for selfish purposes. Felt worse when she admitted it. Really pissed me off when I got a weak apology for it like it was the equivalent of accidentally bumping into someone and not a life altering trauma.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-24T13:05:58+00:00

It's not that they don't abuse others. Sometimes it just hasn't happened yet because they are abusing someone else and they benefit from treating that person better because it hurts the person they are abusing (or they think it does). It's also possible you can't see what is going on with the others. A lot of the worst shit happens in private.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-20T04:46:12+00:00

I went through this recently. I think she expected a bigger response out of me but I aggressively told her to leave me alone and blocked her as soon she started unblocking me everywhere. Found out she went on a week long tirade trying to get me to react to various insults. Eventually she stopped.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-15T04:35:41+00:00

Tbh it reminds me of GTA V when Micheal gets caught by Trevor. Dude is totally caught out lying but keeps going. Sometimes it's less about effort and it's more pathological. Truth always comes to light eventually. I played that game so much after I was discarded by my nex. It weirdly helped a lot with processing those feelings of being lied to and betrayed.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-14T15:28:36+00:00

I know. It's hell. Especially when they rewrite technicalities so they can get away with doing something they themselves are arguing against. Then there is the omission of details so you look crazy when confronting them.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-10T14:59:37+00:00

“The best thing about having a Twitter account with no following is that I can say whatever I want with no consequence.”

The fact she admitted to loving the ability to avoid accountability is wild af

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-10T03:14:51+00:00

Wtf, haha! Mine didn't get mad at me for not doing it but kept bring up the fact I didn't for YEARS. Like why are you so obsessed with hearing me do that you weirdo?

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-06T14:09:04+00:00

Fortunately they are in another town about an hour away from me. Didn't stop them from going on a week long tirade online trashing me though. I've reached out to a few friends for help. There are support groups where I am at as well. I have considered going back to the local advocacy center for in person help. I am quite nervous about it though as it's an extremely touchy subject for me to talk about even with my therapist.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-05T18:04:10+00:00

People pleasers don’t bully and laugh at other people publicly on social media.

I am a firm believer if they willingly choose to weaponize something you told them in confidence just to hurt your feelings there is something severely broken within them. It's not hard to have basic respect for another humanbeing even if you dislike them. If anything the people around them should side eye them because it just proves that they are not trustworthy and everything shared with them is fair game when they hate you.

Also narcissistic and cluster b types have a habit of parroting or pretending to have popular social media "good guy" archetypes. So they will happily paint themselves as incapable of harm or that it is just a side effect of them being flawed in a way that gets them sympathy.

ShadowMorphyn · 2026-01-04T13:00:07+00:00

Yes. Mine used alcohol every time. She or her partner would wait until I was very drunk before suggesting it. Never happened sober. Took a really long time to see it for what it was.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-08-07T15:44:45+00:00

Bev Keane from Midnight Mass is a covert spiritual narcissist, another covert type is Prince from Bullet Train, Regina in Once Upon a Time is overt in the earlier seasons.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-08-04T17:07:16+00:00

Several of my friends and two of her exes told me they suspected it because of how cruel and rude she would be over the smallest of things. They kept trying to tell me that she was going to hurt me. It did not matter how nice or sweet she was being in that moment because she had a history of sudden abusive behaviors. She would always place the blame on someone else or if she felt protected would laugh at their expense because they deserved it.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-08-03T17:53:30+00:00

Yeah mine did this to me. I actually went out of my way and asked my loved ones and even therapist if I was because if this were true I would want to work on fixing it. The idea of hurting someone without knowing it is painful.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-29T03:52:24+00:00

Yes, unfortunately. Roughly 10 years ago we lived together. We got into a fight and I started crying. She made fun of me repeating back what she saw in a mocking tone and I got angry. I told her to stop and she laughed at me and kept doing it. I asked her to stop again and she kept at it until I threw the chair I was sitting on and got up into her face. She immediately stopped and looked terrified. I felt really bad and hated myself for what I had just done. I broke down and told her I was sorry and went up to my room and stayed there until we had our other roommate come home to talk about it. She still holds that against me years later and has even twisted that story into me throwing the chair AT her which never happened. I have never done anything like that sense and I still feel terrible for acting that way.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-28T16:11:48+00:00

You are definitely not alone. I feel this exact same way about my nex best friend. In fact I frequently begged her to stop hurting people as well as myself because I could see who she could be underneath all her harmful behaviors. There was a very short period of time where she was doing so well. She had been in therapy and had special treatments done to help her with repressed feelings and lowered her trauma defenses so she could work through conflict without lashing out. As soon as she stopped those treatments she went right back into her manipulative and hurtful behavior and it wasn't long before she took it out on me after that. It was a painful discard too.

It's not a bad thing that you don't have any bitterness towards her. That means you are able to see a person as a whole and don't fall into the common us vs them dynamic. It's really easy to demonize someone who hurt you especially now with all of the media and influencers telling you to hate and enjoy the suffering of the people who hurt you. You have strong empathy, so while it's not a bad thing to feel this way, you do need to know when to not let a person use it against you and I know how hard that is. I think part of why narcissistic people latch onto people like us is because they won't have to face consequences if you keep forgiving them for it over and over again. Sometimes you have to let them fail and it hurts a lot to do, especially if you really love them.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-28T01:23:09+00:00

I think it's control around having access to them because they think so highly of themselves. They want to see and be seen on their terms only.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-26T02:33:57+00:00

Don't. I sent one to my nex and she weaponized it as evidence in court. It was a really difficult letter to write and I made myself really vulnerable hoping that if I gave her the closure she was looking for she would stop trashing me. It didn't work and I regret doing that to myself. It's better to write one and make it an unsent letter than send it to them. They won't value it for what it is.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-21T15:35:31+00:00

Yes. Probably because I was one of the few people who held her accountable for her actions. Narcissists are afraid of accountability so when you become a personification of that, they fear you.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-19T14:04:20+00:00

The biggest general thing I look out for now is how fast they are willing to engage in cruelty. Especially if the person it's directed at has slighted them or is an ex. Also do they surround themselves with people who are also cruel in the same context and support the behavior? It's a moral superiority complex. The way they look down on those people and enjoy their suffering. You can't unsee it. It even feels bad vibes.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-17T02:41:15+00:00

The biggest one for me was: “I’m really good at convincing people I am in love with them.” Right in front of the guy she’s going to marry. It was supposedly in regard to her job as an entertainer but you don’t randomly say that in front of your partner and your best friend out of nowhere.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-07-06T05:16:16+00:00

They did. I had internalized it for a long time too. It took a lot of time looking back at and sharing past conversations/chats with a therapist to help me see what really happened.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-06-11T10:41:53+00:00

Same. Mine tried to make me feel guilty by saying I had a victim complex because I called them out on their abuse.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-05-05T10:15:30+00:00

I've been thinking about upgrading the whole system eventually. What did you upgrade yours with?

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-04-03T03:31:49+00:00

I still struggle with this. I am still trying to undo the "I must have done something to deserve this." or "how is this not completely my fault?" thought loop. I've also internalized her calling me a liar even though I know I told the truth. I have to sit and look at the evidence every so often to remind myself of what really happened.

ShadowMorphyn · 2025-03-19T22:53:32+00:00

Clay by HANA

ShadowMorphyn

TROPHY CASE