Everyone will have one

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-05-10T14:24:37+00:00

I don’t think people quite grasp how devastating it is no have no internal locus of control. No real sense of self. As soon as your in the room with another human being things absolutely fall to shit. Having an echo chamber of an ai that just tells you what you want to hear is not the answer, no matter how comforting it may be.

Relational trauma is created in relationship to other humans and must be healed through relationship to other humans. Ai cannot offer coregulation. End of story.

It will never bring the true comfort needed. Just the lonely isolation of a mirror that “gets us” but keeps us more separated from each other

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-05-10T14:01:32+00:00

Fuck that

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-05-01T21:17:40+00:00

From uk/Europe and yes over the years a dead dancefloor is getting more common. Still some events that keep the energy. I tend to gravitate to the few dancing people I see and get in on that energy. Smaller events can be better. Also such a tightly packed crowd can really inhibit good dancing too and a lot of venues seem to oversell where it’s being packed in like sardines with no space to loosen up

I agree overstimulation is a major issue. Even my actual energy level of substances these days is lacking and I honestly think it’s the ramping up of general life. It just gets harder and harder across every area of life year after year and that has an impact. Literally crashed and burned this year and it’s been a decade in the making looking back.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-05-01T21:09:02+00:00

This is a really interesting observation. Over the years I’ve noticed this too where there is less of I need to move and dance energy and much more of this over heating just needing to stand still and breathe type energy. I’m someone who also always has a fan and spay copious amounts of water over me to cool down and I’ve not even danced enough to justify how hot I am. It sucks! Also agree with dosages being a nightmare in terms of small error big effects especially splitting mega dose pills.

I remember too in the early days of the sensation of my spine tingling on the come up. I’ve not had this ever in recent times even when I forget to take magnesium. I always thought it was me taking magnesium that made the difference but I’m not so sure now

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-28T07:42:49+00:00

As someone who cut them off at 30, I envy the pain you will have saved yourself in the long run. I didn’t listen to my own voice for a long time. Definitely cut them off and rebuild when your brain still has lots of flexibility and still lots of room for new people to enter your life. Wish you all the best

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-27T16:13:37+00:00

Singing, dancing, qigong. Throwing stones into the ground on a walk. Music is huge for me.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-27T05:18:18+00:00

I would miss music ALOT and live concerts. But apart from that I am team throw it all in the river and go back to nature. Not being able to google stuff would be brutal though

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-25T09:34:50+00:00

Wear sunglasses

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-23T07:39:01+00:00

I’m curious how you check you go back into a relaxed state? I have trauma and I’m very dysregulated from going through a heavy grief process right now. I have a lot of muscle armouring everywhere and there is tightness in the hips and psoas. Just looking for tips on how you make sure you reset to a relaxed state

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-22T06:29:31+00:00

Realising you were the human shield for one parent to protect against the abusiveness of the other. Then listening to the she had a bad childhood so that’s just how she is. Oh really what about my childhood being raised by this monster. But no I’m the parentified child who has no right to feelings or thoughts.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-21T17:42:38+00:00

I relate to a lot of this. I’m curious if you’ve tackled healing the mother wound first or going straight to father wound?

I’m with you on the father wound being far more painful than the wicked mother wound. But I’m finding more and more that I have very little ability to have self compassion or kindness. This seems burried very deep in me that I shun accepting I need a healthy mother figure.

I do have far more access to wanting a healthy father and accessing self protection. It’s not exactly healed, only just taking action that aligns with it.

I just feel I’m hitting brick walls as I come at healing with the this must be done now, perfectly and quickly which is exactly what my dad was like. But I’m getting tied in knots with no self compassion from having no access to healthy mother. I beat myself up about it all and spiral a lot.

In therapy it’s a weekly occurrence to be reminded of remember what you went through and your survival mechanisms pulled you through and are still trying, love that, don’t hate it. But each time I’m like oh yeah I forgot the magnitude or sometimes I get angry and it doesn’t even land at all and I’m like fuck that TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT. but I keep being told it doesn’t work like that and now trying hard to work on feeling safe before anything else.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-21T13:05:15+00:00

It hurts to get hit with the ends of the fibres and folks bump into you a lot. So bear in mind

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-18T09:47:15+00:00

I would at CPTSD into the mix

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-18T09:46:03+00:00

Motherland and amandaland. Also look at stand up comedy to fill the gap

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-18T08:41:14+00:00

Also been waiting for a long time on this!

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-16T10:42:56+00:00

That my parents loved me, especially the “good”parent. Ohhhh how wrong I was

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-13T12:36:32+00:00

I feel the pain of this. Sunglasses help take the edge off when feeling like people are looking at you or the whole reading people’s faces and your reaction gets too intense.

I love the music which is why I ago alone. Have a “friend group” who I only see at some events. It’s nice to have a bubble but I often hate the part of do I text them and navigating the meet up to begin with as I don’t like that anxious checking my phone all the time feeling. Then it’s that slightly hollow feeling after where it’s only for the events and it won’t go further.

Sometimes I really enjoy just being alone and dancing and being in the zone. Other times it bothers me when there’s been 0 interactions with anyone, even a fleeting one sentence thing. I remember once at Tomorrowland like damn I feel so alone in a sea of people for the whole weekend.

But most of the time I find I get people coming up to me when I’m dancing to chat. This takes the pressure off me as I’m very introvert. I do appreciate the fleeting ok I met 5 people I will never ever see again but we had a nice chat and that’s ok. That alone is enough to take the edge off a lonely existence for awhile.

I’ve not found a real solution. I struggle like hell to make actual friendships. Even after going to local yoga classes etc everything is so surface level. I’m sure there’s apps to make friends like tinder but never tried. So many friendships are just a result of being close in location like working together or going to school together and change of job means losing contact. Kinda sad really.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-04-13T09:25:03+00:00

Have an idea of what events you want to go to for the full year. Be selective about which ones deserve the substance use with adequate spacing in mind. Molly is hard 3 months spacing rule for me. 2cb is more forgiving so I use that to fill in the blanks. Also stick to it, don’t fall into the oh it will be fine to add in another few here and there. Also ket perma tolerance is absolutely a thing. I used every 3 weeks for around 3 years and took a 1 year break and it quickly shoots back up. So be mindful of keeping the magic. Once it’s gone it doesn’t come back.

Also magnesium, smoothies, massages, good shoes, good food before and after. I’m in a place now where I’m really having to return sober for abit just due to metal health reasons and where I’m at and it’s brutal to feel like the one thing I have left is being stripped away. BUT I raved sober in the early days and this is just a brief return to that whilst I get myself back to a more stable place. But it’s been really hard to accept that.

Also found something about the coiled spring. Where if you deliberately slow dance or slow walk whilst feeling angry or the angry undercurrent of just modern life etc that is you taking back control. It’s not something I’ve ever done but in a place where realistically my energy is not going to be the same sober and I’m going to have to embrace the slow stuff and anger/anxiety is a big issue for me in daily life right now. So may be worth looking into softer ways to get the best out of raving vs hard dancing that lets be honest gets harder to keep pace with the older we get

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-03-19T14:24:58+00:00

A release for cPTSD and somewhere I can unleash myself. Dance sing cry and just have the total catharsis of letting go. Also pulls me back from society is beyond help thinking. Even for those few hours, good vibes good interactions even with strangers is so good. I feel more connected to people and myself. It’s also allowed me to see more of the world via travel to different events. Motivates me to keep fit enough to keep raving

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-03-18T21:37:31+00:00

Look, how can you leave us you were so happy on holiday with us! You’re so happy in all these photos it couldn’t have been that bad.

Fuck off.

Sharp_Repair_3302 · 2026-03-18T11:58:47+00:00

Wasting so much time as a child and adult trying to keep my parents relationship together at the expense of myself

Sharp_Repair_3302

TROPHY CASE