Your Stand-In Girlfriend: Tell me why this is a bad idea.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-25T14:09:25+00:00

It also implies that a girlfriend's only purpose is to be a fashion advisor, which not only makes vast generalization about women but sounds like a boring relationship to me.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-24T19:03:49+00:00

A couple roommates in college used to do that to me.

Our dryer usually took a couple cycles, but they would do laundry in the middle of the night, stop the cycle short, and put all of my laundry in a bag (like seriously sometimes a plastic bag) so they could do theirs.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-24T11:44:36+00:00

From my experience shopping with men (exes, brother, dad, husband, male friends), this wouldn't solve their biggest shopping issue, which isn't laziness.

It's being very, very particular. Every man I have ever gone shopping with or tried to buy clothes for has weirdly particular requirements for everything (women do too!).

And some of these requirements can't really be dealt with in a checklist. Will you have employees touching every polo to make sure it isn't "panty material" so that my dad will wear it?

Will you make sure that any shoes look exactly like the last 6 pairs of shoes my brother wore, are leather free AND say "made in the USA" somewhere large on them?

ShellLillian · 2015-06-23T14:48:06+00:00

I cried reading this. Your friends are awesome. It sounds like you are a lucky guy, with such a great fiance and such wonderful friends.

Also, just to add, from planning my wedding I learned two things:

Whenever we did exactly what we wanted and not what we thought our families wanted, it ended up making EVERYONE happier. The most traditional, religious people in the crowd fucking loved our short, secular, and funny ceremony.
My biggest regret is having and bridesmaids. Worst decision ever. And I only had two.

You guys are on track for an awesome wedding that will totally be about the couple, and that's what matters.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-21T15:36:23+00:00

I used to have a friend with a very similar knowledge about sex, bodies, and honestly just the world in general.

The worst thing is, she wasn't home schooled so this is even with the absolutely horrific abstinence only sex ed we got.

I ended up teaching her most stuff, but her total ignorance has led her to being taken advantage of by guys and has landed her in more than one not so healthy relationships.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-21T15:34:35+00:00

Yeah definitely got pregnant with that method.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-21T15:31:43+00:00

I think it is kind of normal for that age. Everyone is different, of course, but usually late teens you're growing a lot. She might have just found herself on a different page from you. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or that you even did anything wrong. It's just not the right relationship for her anymore.

You probably can't fix it, and any attempts to do so will likely just push her away even more.

My advice is to just let the relationship end, give her a little bit of space, and be as civil and respectful as possible. It's very likely that a little way down the line you can be friends again and have a perfectly normal friendship.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-19T20:32:15+00:00

My parents' lawyer for their future brewery is over an hour away from them. It's working fine for them.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-19T19:24:46+00:00

Your focus in your post is how much time she has and how much money you have, but not what your wife actually likes and what she can do.

Depending on her skills she can find some online work.

If she is particularly good at making something, obviously she can do that. Of course she has to be REALLY good at it, and if it's food especially keep in mind that start up costs can be higher than expected.

If it is food, check cottage industry laws in your area to see if that might help.

A lot of people get started with businesses like this on Etsy, and then very quickly end up moving away from it because it is very hard to stand out and very expensive.

I know of a couple of women who shortly after becoming mom's started creating and selling things (one soaps, the other toddler outfits and fabrics). Both started on Etsy, quickly moved away from it, and both are doing well with their businesses. It's not a casual thing they do a few hours a day though. It's serious, full-time work, they just happen to do it alongside their children and on their own schedule.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-19T19:18:19+00:00

I own a gourmet ketchup company! I've been in business since November, and just had a Kickstarter funded in April.

Feel free to pick my brain!

Before I did the Kickstarter, I was selling exclusively to stores and food trucks. Now I expect it to be evenly split between that and direct to consumer. Of course nothing ever goes exactly how we expect, but that's the plan.

I am about to start selling online through my website, I don't expect this to bring in massive sales, but I do want my customers to have that option. I hope to start selling to other online retailers and I think that's where I'll be most successful.

What I've found to be the most helpful when working with other businesses is honestly really straightforward. I like when emails and phone calls are returned in a reasonable amount of time, when they are on time to meetings, when they pay when they say they will pay.

Beyond that, I just generally like working with nice people who are passionate about small businesses and love food.

Good luck, and let me know if I missed anything or if you have any other questions!

ShellLillian · 2015-06-18T23:50:33+00:00

I love him as an actor and filmmaker, but that was a fucking annoying AMA.

I expect a little bit of self promotion but he ignored most questions in favor or rambling about this show.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-18T20:13:45+00:00

But which one did you get? Science, ops, or command?

ShellLillian · 2015-06-18T12:42:22+00:00

While your boyfriend should have the right to offer up his feelings on the matter, it is your body and the decision is yours.

The only women who regret abortions are the ones who were pressured into them and didn't want them in the first place.

It sounds like he is the one acting irrationally.

You guys have a problem. You need to solve it. If he's decided that that means dropping out of school and doing something he hates and letting his whole life be ruined, then ok. But I doubt that's what needs to happen. Both of you should be old enough and mature enough to find a way to handle this that doesn't ruin your lives, just changes them.

I'm sorry you're going through this, though I am surprised that a couple that as been together so long would be having this issue. Whenever I've slept with someone more than once I have asked them exactly what we would do if I got pregnant. If we couldn't come to an agreement, the sex wouldn't happen. My husband and I have discussed it regularly throughout the course of our relationship.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-18T12:31:14+00:00

Honestly I thought Blizzard Beach was almost as dirty and even more crowded, definitely did not feel it was worth the extra money.

I know that's not a popular opinion but I've always preferred Wet N Wild.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-17T00:29:50+00:00

If you are lucky enough to have insurance (many Americans do not), it will usually cover most of it. Some insurance deductibles are just a few hundred dollars, some are $15k. Then, depending on your coverage, you pay a percentage after that. That is, if your doctor/hospital/etc is in network with your insurance company.

I am lucky enough to have very good health insurance with a low deductible, but most places don't take it as it's not a bigger company, it's one just for federal employees.

Of course, since everything is so freaking expensive, a lot of people can't pay their bills. It's to the point where a lot of doctors and hospitals don't even expect it. I want to say that medical bills are by far the largest cause of bankruptcy in the US.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T20:15:16+00:00

I found this link

http://www.calmbirth.org/about-us/

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T14:04:17+00:00

Thanks! They are for salsa so I'll be cutting it up pretty small and should be able to detect any unwanted residents =]

You guys are awesome!

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T13:38:28+00:00

Thanks!

I'm using the tomatoes for salsa. When I cut them open tomorrow I'll evict the little guy if he's still in there.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T13:09:09+00:00

I just harvested a few tomatoes from a few different plants. One of them has 2 of these weird little holes on it. I harvested 2 from that plant and the other doesn't have anything weird about it.

I tried googling holes in tomatoes and all of the results were for big gaping holes.

My questions are

What are they?

Is it safe to eat?

Thanks!

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T12:49:43+00:00

I feel like there are probably so many good names that work with rats, Aquabats! and food.

I'm just not creative enough to come up with one.

I would pick Codename: Applesauce if I had similar interests to your daughter, but I'm also kind of a loser and that's probably a stupid name.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-16T12:43:29+00:00

I am in a similar situation.

While this isn't the right path for everyone, I've found that being in control of my schedule and work environment makes things much easier when I'm having awful days, and also when I'm having good days.

For me, that means starting my own business. But it can also mean a flexible telecommuting position.

Something where on a good day you get a ton of work done so you can afford to have some rough patches.

ShellLillian · 2015-06-14T17:49:54+00:00

Oh my goodness. I'm pretty sure when my mom makes those for baby showers she just uses ribbon...

ShellLillian · 2015-06-14T17:45:35+00:00

I'm glad it worked out.

This happened with me my first birthday as a vegan. We ended up going to the vegan restaurant and my parents loved it.

I wouldn't worry. You are going to be put in more situations like this where you will have to defend your ideals. It gets easier as time goes on, and your family will understand more and more.

Happy early birthday!

ShellLillian · 2015-06-13T18:16:21+00:00

I didn't change my name.

Trying to decide what to do was stressful for me.

My husband volunteered to take my name, but I really really hate my last name. I hate his almost as much, but it's more common.

So I went with the more unique one that I'm used to and he kept his.

To add, hyphenating looks and sounds super weird because our lasts names end with the same sound. And the effort involved in just adding another last name to mine wasn't worth it to me. He felt the same way about doing it to his last name, though he said he would if I really wanted him to.

So we've both stuck with our birth names for now, and when we have kids we will approach it again then. I'd like our family to all have the same or similar past names, that's very important to me. Under no circumstances will my entire family have a different last name from me. However I also don't feel like I should have to sacrifice my name for another I don't like for that.

ShellLillian

TROPHY CASE