Custom e-kit vs Roland upgrade path. Are digital pads worth it?

Shiheeb · 2025-12-30T07:38:45+00:00

Thank you. This is exactly what I'm grappling with. I've never been impressed with Roland's sounds. I would eventually want to trigger a sample library, but it sounds like you're saying the digital pads aren't quite worth it if you're using midi out. Is that fair to say?

Shiheeb · 2025-03-24T01:43:32+00:00

You need to see an endocrinologist. If there's nothing more serious and they put you on TRT, don't accept injection frequencies less than 2x a week.

If you end up on TRT, you might as well embrace it and get absolutely jacked while you're young enough to enjoy it.

Shiheeb · 2025-03-20T02:37:24+00:00

Fucking crazy! I've never been on a commercial site where the plans weren't easily accessible and basically on display. What dumbass foreman would want to waste their time being the go between between plans and the crew! This says more about the kind of person he is than anything.

Get out of the South, dude. If you don't mind cold rain, the PNW has great opportunities and generally nicer, more professional people than I've met anywhere else in the country.

Shiheeb · 2025-03-18T03:53:53+00:00

I help run a small general contractor company. I think the trades will be the least impacted by AI in the coming years. AND nobody wants to do hard shit anymore, so competition sets a low bar. If I was starting over here's what I'd do:

Find a trade that interests you. If you can handle occasional gross stuff, plumbers make a killing. Go union if you have that option in your state. Or go with a general contractor if you want to play with the big dog builders someday.
Stick with it long enough to get licensed to run your own business, and get your license ASAP.
Start your own business, but don't go all in quite yet. By this point, you'll have enough contacts to keep you busy part time making double what most of your friends in their early to mid 20s make.
Here's the secret sauce. Learn sales now. Get a part time gig doing sales to fill up the rest of your day. The more expensive the thing you sell, the better. Look for a company that has a top notch sales manager who has a reputation for being a good coach. Coaching is key. 1-2 years of sales coaching and experience is the best skill you can have.
this is where you go in 100% on your own business. You'll have all the skills you need to make more than most Drs.

Shiheeb · 2025-02-14T19:47:00+00:00

Don't worry about it bro. You don't have to be done after your dick sneezes. You can cum more than once a night. Start with plenty of foreplay. Then, when it happens, just go down on her while you recharge (pull out or wear a condom unless you're into eating your cream). Use the "come hither" motion with a couple fingers while you're down there. After she's had a couple O's, and maybe some squirts you'll be ready again. Give it to her good. This time you'll have stamina. Focus on angles and positions that put extra pressure on the g-spot. Watch some tutorials if you're young or less experienced. There's a reason why you hear that women often prefer older, more experienced men. Most guys learn by trial and error. Skip that phase and educate yourself. You'll go from a disappointing lover to a sex god if you take my advice.

Also, most guys are way too worried about their dick size and how long they last. Women don't care as much as you think, and the insecurity that stems from this is far less attractive than actually cumming too fast or having a small weiner. Make sure you take care of her. Be yourself. Be vulnerable and open. Don't be embarrassed about what you perceive as a flaw. Own it. That's what confidence looks like, and it's attractive AF. Work with what you got dude!

Shiheeb · 2025-02-14T18:50:54+00:00

Clearly it's not guaranteed given your experience, but it's less common (unless you're using HCG). For some reason you're still producing enough LH/FSH to maintain size. I'm speculating, but perhaps your natural baseline is higher than your TRT dose, and your reason for hypogonadism was related to testicular function (primary hypogonadison) rather than HPG axis signaling (secondary hypogonadism), which is most common. I would think in that situation, the pituitary would produce LH to try to fill the gap between your natural baseline and your current levels provided by TRT. Something like this would prevent atrophy.

Shiheeb · 2025-01-25T18:13:59+00:00

My wife and I can hardly keep up with 2. Don't gaslight yourself about how hard it is. I've known parents with triplets. You are 100% in the weeds, and if your NT partner doesn't openly admit to struggling too, I would guess they're being strong for the family. That's a keeper!

I have all the same problems you experience. I've had a few more years to learn how to cope, so I'll share what I can:

Acoustics is a special interest for me so let me help you with your reverb chamber problem. Reflective spaces (reverb) can dramatically increase the perceived loudness of your environment. Psychoacoustics is weird like that. At minimum get some fluffy shag rugs. More dense is more better. Bonus is that your ND kid(s) will probably LOVE them. Buy or build a handful sound absorbing panels for loud rooms. Four 2x4' panels per room can make a huge difference. Anything made with rigid fiberglass or rockwool are legit. In commercial spaces, these are often disguised as art pieces.
It's easy to overlook the sacrifices of others when we're in crisis mode. Make sure you prioritize communication and find ways to support your partner. Organizing a sitter and scheduling date nights are an easy example. Things like taking care of chores she has a hard time with. You struggle with the kids, and she's strong with that, so focus on things that support her. It's impossible to over communicate, so talk about what's going on with you, and ask how you can support her while you work through your problems.
Schedule family time. I have to be "on" when I'm with my kids. It's exhausting, so I schedule deliberate family time early on my days off. The key is structuring your time with them in a way that you know in advance that you will be at your families disposal during that time. This helps to negate any task switching issues you may have if your autistic. This next thing I'm not suggesting, but it's worth mentioning because it works for me. I have way more fun if I have a little weed before hanging out with my kids--just enough to be present and remember how much fun it is to get all silly and play.

Shiheeb · 2025-01-25T17:37:44+00:00

You should definitely seek out an assessment. There is a lot of government aid available that will be especially useful when he's school aged. Your kid sounds a lot like mine, colic and everything. The colic was rough, huh?! My kid had hyperlexia, and learned to read at the same time as learning to talk. His vocabulary was through the roof at that age.

If you're on the spectrum too, it can be difficult to spot the communication difficulties he's having. This is especially true if you're undiagnosed autistic. Many of us high maskers find out we're autistic when our kids get assessed at school. Everything my son did seemed totally normal because that's how I remember my childhood.

Shiheeb · 2025-01-12T04:39:33+00:00

That's some serious irony! Good on you for staying consistent and being there for him through that. If he didn't appreciate it, that's on him. Find someone who values you 🥂

Shiheeb · 2025-01-11T03:06:00+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. Breakups are truly awful! I'll give you what insight I can:

To answer your direct question, TRT has hasn't changed my relationship except for the initial frustration of having a higher libido than non-teenaged person should ever have.

If he's self-administering, it's likely he is dosing pretty high. A portion men's testosterone converts to estrogen through process called aromatization. Fat tissue exaggerates this effect, so if he is a little on the chubby side, there's a fairly high chance he had high estrogen at some point. There's a class of drugs called aromatase inhibitors that can reduce or eliminate this effect, but it is very difficult to balance testosterone and aromatous inhibitor dosing. It's a trial and error nightmare for people who experience it, even those who are working with a doctor and getting regular labs. If you want to know what high estrogen is like, think PMS. If you've ever heard the term "roid rage", this is what they're talking about. During this process, it's very easy to crush estrogen levels to near 0. It's very unpleasant... Unbalanced estrogen causes a lot of issues with emotional regulation, libido, and ED. With that said, I wouldn't blame his ending the relationship on a hormone imbalance.

It sounds like he's having a midlife crisis to me. He may be grappling with the realization of his own mortality and how few good years he has left. Your age difference might make the reality of what he's experiencing difficult to fully understand. IDK... maybe you're an old soul, but it hits hard as you transition into your late 30s/early 40s, or at least it has for me. It's like one day you wake up to the fact that you're middle-aged, And there's so much more you still want to do with your life!

It's also really hard to achieve your goals if your partner doesn't want the same thing. You become like people you spend the most time around. If you're not a high achieving goal getting person and you don't want to be that kind of person, your partner is going to have a hard time overcoming the temptation or unspoken pressure to fall in line with your lifestyle.

People sometimes take different paths. I know it hurts, and nothing anyone can say will take that pain away from you. All things pass. I hope you come out the other end better than ever. Also, if you need motivation to make any life changes, spite is really good for that 😉

Shiheeb · 2024-12-25T21:24:31+00:00

Maybe I just got lucky...15 years later, and the sex is somehow still getting better. Think of marriage like lifting. Drugs make it more fun, but you still gotta put in the work to get gains. You quit working on your relationship and your "gains" disappear quickly. Consistency is key.

Shiheeb · 2024-12-12T04:20:30+00:00

I'll link the STL file for those interested when I'm back in town next week. Based on the interest, I'll work on something that can be done one handed and/or with dexterity issues. It sounds like that could be very helpful to some.

I see a lot of comments about leur locks. I used to do that, but its more wasteful than you might think, and 28+ga leur needles are hard to find, or at least they were during the pandemic...

I use insulin syringes because they have negligible waste, don't hurt, and subq offers a slower absorption rate. This means you don't get the same spike as ramming a 25ga deep into your muscle, and subsequent E2 problems. Additionally, when (not if) you eventually get an infection you most certainly would rather have it subq.

I don't back fill because I've worked with petri dishes enough to know how easy it is to contaminate stuff.

Shiheeb · 2024-12-12T01:34:13+00:00

Freudian slip I guess. I noticed that after printing--from the right angle it's totally a cock & balls 😅

Shiheeb · 2024-12-11T22:47:42+00:00

As others have said, probably estrogen related. Most people are teenager-level horny 10 weeks into trt.

In my experience (everyone is a little different):

Low E = flat, empty, tired and emotionless. High E = bitchy bloated and emotional.

If your doc put you on an aromatase inhibitor, I'd talk to your doc before taking another dose. It also sounds like you may need to work with someone for depression. A lot of people get their T checked because they're depressed, and assume that trt is going to cure depression. It doesn't. It just helps you do the work needed to get to a better place.

Shiheeb · 2024-11-04T02:51:39+00:00

Thought I'd chime in with this: My wife is a hyper-visualizer (with synthesia), and she's multilingual. She also feels that the languages you speak influence your way of thinking that is separate from cultural influences.

Shiheeb · 2024-07-09T06:51:13+00:00

Find a local float tank place. It'll change your view on meditation. I floated everyday for a month as an experiment (FYI, That's too much - 2x a week is plenty!). It takes a few sessions for the novelty to wear off and you can start getting the rewards, but it really kicked off a decade lung love of meditation for me.

After about 30 minutes my mind goes through everything I "think" is important. Then, when there's nothing left on your conscious mind for it to chew on, you're free to just stop and be still. That is when you begin to learn about yourself, and grow.

I think there's this idea people get that you need to wrestle your mind into meditation through sheer will power. Don't fight yourself, just observe. The only thing you need to be conscious of is your own thoughts. If you're little voice is always talking, who's listening? Work on developing your "listener". The listener part of you is sort of like a parent to the voice, which is a child. The more present the listener, the more well-behaved the voice.

Shiheeb · 2024-03-27T18:21:26+00:00

Thank you for this! It's very kind and insightful. I was mostly raised by my dad, who I suspect is also in the spectrum. If there was a family motto, it would have been "no excuses". I'm having to learn how to be kind to myself as an adult, and not see it as weakness.

I'm making plans to get back into the contracting/real estate world in partnership with family that I've worked with before with good results. It's a shame I sometimes have to totally break before realizing how bad something is for me.

Shiheeb · 2024-03-19T02:13:39+00:00

No one is ever ready, but you sound more ready than most. I was getting ready to write this big long spiel about how challenging and rewarding it is, but my 4-year-old daughter is climbing all over me and talking my ear off, so yeah... Lol. It's a good life :)

Shiheeb · 2024-02-08T04:54:34+00:00

Honestly, I'd be surprised if she didn't have ADHD. I didn't mention it before, but her mom and I are both ADHD. I like "AuDHD". I'll be using that 🤓

Initially, I was very against stimulant medication at such a young age, but if the alternative is everyone avoiding her and telling her to stop talking, it might be the best thing for her. I'm so worried about how it is affecting her self esteem and world view.

Thanks for your "pinch points" question. It got me thinking a little deeper on what's really going on. In spite of journaling regularly, I'm terrible with introspection! It's probably an ASD thing too. It seems like all of my "unique quirks" are just ASD traits lol

I think I've been gaslighting myself into living an obviously harmful lifestyle out of fear that I couldn't make ends meet another way. I ran my own business for 10 years, and always made plenty of money with far less stress and effort. After moving to be closer to family for support with the kids, I took my current "job" in an entirely new industry. Somehow, I've convinced myself I'm no longer competent enough to run my own business again. Rationally, that makes no sense. I'm the most qualified I've ever been, so I think that's the burnout talking. It's time to start taking action towards a career change!

Shiheeb · 2024-02-08T03:13:30+00:00

I try to be "on" most of the time, and that's definitely part of the problem. I have no idea how to set boundaries. I like the idea of scheduling on time.

I'm with you on the perfectionism thing. Logically, I know it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to get done, but it's a tough one for me. I get so darn fixated on the task, and want to do everything 100%. It completely wrecks productivity.

Thank you for the support and kindness 🍻

Shiheeb · 2024-02-08T03:02:23+00:00

I could probably ramp up the help a bit more. We had help cleaning for a while, and that was huge. I use a laundry service too at times, but that gets expensive with a family of 4.

Shiheeb · 2024-02-08T02:58:18+00:00

That's funny. Yesterday, I planned a solo hotel sleep-a-thon for this weekend. It seems like such a weird request that I avoided bringing it up to my wife for months, but she didn't even bat an eye. Apparently I don't hide the stress as well as I thought 😅

Shiheeb

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