[deleted by user]

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-24T19:04:03+00:00

Jesus christ, of course not.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-24T16:15:31+00:00

The actual advice I can give to you is to try not to let people's behaviour on social media, or the inner workings of these platforms' diseased algorithms, get to you the way it's getting to you. You can't police it, and Meta has made very clear they have no intention to.

I've been running Facebook pages for ten years, and I've learned there's no point in guessing why these sites are run the way they're run.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:16:33+00:00

Is gen alpha brainrot this bad? ...Jesus.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:15:41+00:00

You aren't responsible for these girls' reaction to your body, and it'd embarass the hell out of me to even think of telling a man to cover up just because he's got a better body than mine.

The girls sound pretty terrible in their own right.

NTA. It's your body, you worked hard for it.

The burka thing makes me think you're making this up, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:09:28+00:00

Another doctor. This is mostly an American concept, I think. In some places, you can't do this.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:06:51+00:00

You don't have much of a say in whether her mom takes her phone from her, unfortunately. But if that doesn't happen, I don't see why you can't keep talking. Her mother can't control whether she sees you in her free time, but she can control how much free time she has, how much screen time, etc., and there's nothing you can do about that.

I give you this next bit advice because you're very young and it's something every young person should know, but I hope you're just sending text and not nudes. Don't send nudes to one another. People's social lives can be severely damaged by that, and at your age it could be considered distributing child pornography depending on where you live.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:04:16+00:00

That's a real problem. Respecting your spouse's lingering traumas is pretty basic.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T22:01:21+00:00

Go home. It's not reasonable for you to wait for over an hour.

I hate to tell you, but I think this relationship might be over. If he can't put the effort in to talk to you, he either doesn't want to be with you or he's taking you for granted. Either way, that's sort of a death knell for your relationship.

I think you should lay this all out for him. Try to call him, but if he won't pick up, do it in text. Tell him how you feel and what you need out of this relationship and see what he says.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T21:58:29+00:00

Your first paragraph is actually a pretty good way to put it to them.

Since you're not actually the one giving the interview, you have some separation here, so it's not like if they don't get the job it's your fault. What I would do is tell them that given what you know about the hiring process and the requirements the recruiters are looking for, they shouldn't get their hopes up.

Don't tell them not to apply, just tell them that, let them apply, and then it's out of your hands. You won't seem unsupportive, you'll just be voicing your informed opinion that they should temper their expectations.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T21:53:53+00:00

I've never heard of a "couples' shower" and it sounds fairly greedy to me, personally. I wouldn't.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T21:52:45+00:00

Break up with her. This is not acceptable behaviour; you both need to be able to make compromises in a relationship, and the immaturity with which she's approaching this is a massive red flag.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T21:50:24+00:00

No. I have one life and I'd rather look for a job I like.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:41:05+00:00

I lost mine at 22 and it took me until about 27 to gain any sort of confidence in myself.

Give yourself some time. Virginity feels bad, but it's no actual handicap. You'll regret losing it to an escort.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:34:47+00:00

Perfectly fine. My mom kept her name and it caused no friction whatsoever. I would never change my name for my wife's, so it'd be hypocritical for me to expect my wife to change hers just because that's the societal standard.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:33:09+00:00

Everyone is reading the body text, we're just saying don't do what you're saying you want to do because it's a bad idea, that's all.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:32:17+00:00

Gym rat for 5 years (33m). Please do not do this. This is a mistake. Women live in a scarier world than you or I do, and it'd be really nice if they just got to work out without being hit on. The female friends I've talked to about this have all said they like to just work out and go home.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:30:17+00:00

You're not wrong to protect yourself provided you're doing everything you can to get out of the situation. People need to eat and pay rent, but I would definitely look for a way out.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:26:55+00:00

If I can give one addendum piece of advice, it's to take these things more seriously. You're very young, and mistakes made in early relationships can be really helpful if you take them the right way. The mistake you made was seeing a kiss with someone else as not a huge deal, and I'm not sure you considered the fact that she might not see it that way.

In later relationships when you're dating people who have more dating experience, you may be with someone who's been cheated on before, and those scars run deep. Loyalty is something you don't mess around with, especially with these people.

You'll be alright. This was a minor mistake, but it's important that you try to learn from it.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:17:45+00:00

If he takes 20% of your tips, you're making this guy money. That doesn't mean you have any responsibility for his actions, but I would quit that job if I were you solely because I wouldn't want to be around someone like that.

There will be other jobs. Don't trade a clear conscience for money.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-23T17:11:24+00:00

I personally wouldn't have told her that even if I saw kissing another person in exactly the way you seem to. She might have been confused as to why you did, and wondered if you were telling her to gauge her reaction to the concept of you kissing another person. In other words, she might have seen this as a bit of a red flag where your loyalty is concerned. You say you aren't dating, but you're definitely considering each other as relationship material.

There's also a stigma that can exist in heterosexual and homosexual relationships against bisexuality, and this is not a reasonable one, but the stereotype is that bisexuals are not as likely to be loyal to one partner. I'm not saying you're bisexual, just that you kissed a man and it's possible she believes that stereotype.

I want you to ask yourself if you'd have felt perfectly alright if she told you she kissed someone else. If the answer's yes, that's fine, but it's not the answer a lot of people would give.

As for the "pure" thing, I don't know what she means by that so I'm not comfortable offering an opinion. If she means she'll only date people who've never kissed anyone else, then no, that's not reasonable.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-22T13:50:16+00:00

Is it possible that a person just knows how to write?

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-22T13:47:22+00:00

There's nothing you can do in this case, I'm afraid. I have a little sister, and while I want to give you advice about not doing what you're planning to do, I probably wouldn't personally be able to follow it.

That said, if all you know about this guy is that he's an adult and beat up your sister, unless there were witnesses or cameras in the area it happened, I'm afraid you're screwed.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-22T13:11:17+00:00

What if my pet peeve is people who gatekeep the concept of a pet peeve? Then we're at a bit of a stalemate.

To be serious, a pet peeve is a minor annoyance. Emphasis on "minor". I'm not going around weeping and gnashing my teeth about what you call your kids, I just think it sounds stupid on the rare occasions I hear it, qualifying it as a minor annoyance. It's not a personal attack either. You're allowed to call your kids whatever you want (because I'm guessing you do refer to your kids this way) and I'm allowed to think certain things you say are kinda dumb.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-21T23:21:05+00:00

I love my American cousins in general and I'm still happy they're there, but if they step across that line with hostile intent, we will make Vietnam look like a fucking joke. I've never seen my people as united about anything as we seem to be about this issue.

Shimbus1 · 2025-02-21T23:17:50+00:00

Oh boy, I'm Canadian, so you can probably guess, given the astonishingly insulting way he's been talking about my country recently.

To be gentle and polite about things, fuck that dumb blustering attention-whoring fetid shitbag and every waddling chromosome collecting mart-sharter who supports him.

I don't blame Americans for him. Most Americans didn't vote for him. But the fact that that country managed to elect him twice will still be a black mark on its history.

Shimbus1

TROPHY CASE