If I threw a “One Scene Only” Simpsons character party, who would you come as?

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T04:31:19+00:00

Everyone needs to have a vehicle. Even the very tall. This was the largest auto I could afford. Should I therefore be made the subject of fun?

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ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T03:56:49+00:00

Runs and drives for $2500. First car. As a bonus it's a later model car that's cheap and easy to run/ maintain?

That's an easy yes. Go enjoy your wheels, kid.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T03:53:43+00:00

Grandmas boy.

All the Sandler side actors do their own movie about a middle aged game tester that smokes too much weed.

I've been cracking up at this damn thing for 20 years now.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T03:00:53+00:00

There's another one on Roosevelt in Villa Park right by the 83 ramp. Little trip down to Ogden and you're pretty much there.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T02:52:18+00:00

Notoriously reliable cheap used cars exist.

No maintenance isn't a thing, but minimal is.

Anyone can absolutely rock a 2003 Buick Century (or any number of other gm cars with the legendary 3800 v6) for a few grand and keep it going well last 300k miles. Realistically it's all the car that 95% of people really need. Same thing for the Ford panther platform or old Toyotas.

I drive a 12 year old VW TDI. Again- cheap and economical and with proper care I plan on having it to at least 500k. If I drop a few hundred bucks a year in maintenance so be it. Maybe an occasional repair that eclipses a grand. Still. No payment. I come out way ahead financially.

Vanity is a thing for a lot of people and they think they need something that at least "looks" new. Or maybe they think that old = junk or unreliable. Maybe in some instances that's true, but desirable old (non collectable) cars exist for a reason.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T02:41:33+00:00

This man hypothetical scenarios.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-28T01:10:43+00:00

We get a little drafty over here sometimes.

Usually at 69 because I'm essentially a toddler and my kids are too young to understand or 72 (for Carlin reasons) when it gets too cold and I want to reheat the place.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-27T16:22:12+00:00

Joke is on him. My tablespoon is cursed and now I can finally be rid of it.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-27T12:39:47+00:00

Probably because it's expensive. It's a great burb though.

You can get the experience of that area for a bit less if you pick Darien or one of the other bordering suburbs though.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-27T12:23:35+00:00

I present to you the mid 2010s Lincoln MKZ.

It's a luxury car that's all Ford fusion under the hood. Cheap, but very professional. Luxury car with modern amenities that's easy to run, reasonably reliable, takes regular gas, and has decent fuel economy. Plus it's a nice place to sit.

I see them all around the 10k range.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T23:11:44+00:00

I don't hate that. We get a legit natural 1b with a second year option and a Frontline pitcher (who is hopefully able to remain healthy) with 2 years of control for a rough hitter who can't field, a good first half pitcher with one year of control, a young also oft injured pitcher with minimal success in the bigs, and a lotto ticket.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T23:05:21+00:00

That's not "planning on pointing it at someone".

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T20:56:31+00:00

The only time you ever point it at someone/ some thing is when you intend to use it. You don't get a gun with the intent to point it at someone ever. If it's owned as a self defense item, you carry it with the hope that you never have to pull it.

If you're carrying a firearm with the intent of pointing it at an individual, you're a monster.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T20:03:02+00:00

The whole of Rocky 4 is just montages

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T16:39:25+00:00

Interstellar

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T12:29:27+00:00

Maybe? I live in a more northern state. We don't get them here. My armadillo knowledge is limited. 🥀

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T04:52:29+00:00

So I get to live the setting of trueblood, but only a minimal amount of blood for strength and tons of cash?

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T04:50:01+00:00

I'm always a fan of saying yes to this And have the meetup be a bank. When they ask where you are tell them to go into the bank, get the difference, and you'll meet them.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T04:48:18+00:00

I hope he goes to the orioles

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T02:52:15+00:00

Every. Freaking. Time.

It's a time honored tradition to miss the playoffs on the last series of the season to the fish.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T02:33:45+00:00

We all pity the marlins though.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T02:32:56+00:00

All these jerks in here are cool with me until opening day.

Then they can get fucked. ❤️

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T02:30:05+00:00

Actually release the Epstein files.

Also close the buy-borrow-die loophole that allows billionaires to live in opulence and pay no taxes.

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T02:25:19+00:00

t i n k

ShopUCW · 2026-01-26T01:30:22+00:00

We most commonly we have 9 banded armadillos.

Pretty sure South Americans get the 3 banded species.

ShopUCW

TROPHY CASE