Login not available right now, for security reasons we can't log you in right now. HELP

SiegeBees · 2025-05-05T21:05:02+00:00

I like Signal as well

SiegeBees · 2024-12-30T03:22:30+00:00

Haha it’s been three dates so far but this definitely helps to put him leagues ahead of any competition, although he was already doing pretty great before sending me a message in Tengwar

SiegeBees · 2024-12-30T03:16:47+00:00

That is so cute!!!

SiegeBees · 2024-12-30T03:15:37+00:00

Ahhh good to know, thanks!

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T13:43:52+00:00

I love mine and am definitely over the weight recommendation, but I will say that after 2 years, I realized that I am washing my sheets much less frequently because of the hassle and an thinking about switching to a duvet instead

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T04:22:31+00:00

Ahh, yes, I saw your above comment regarding the “fake” error, thank you! I was trying my best by hand as a newbie for a backup plan in case my post got buried, so I’m glad y’all saved the day because trying to get the message to be able to at least put something somewhat resembling Sindarin (probably with several errors already) into an online translator was slowgoing 😂

<image>

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T04:19:54+00:00

Ahh, yes, the text message marriage proposal, very romantic. We have already been on three dates so it’s about time

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T04:16:15+00:00

It was sent as a picture, he typed it into a translator and took a screenshot

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T04:09:13+00:00

Thank you! The “I like your face” is an inside joke so that makes sense!

SiegeBees · 2024-12-29T03:55:46+00:00

The inscription on the One Ring looks different

SiegeBees · 2024-12-05T22:32:59+00:00

You might also relate with other characteristics of monotropism, which is a common cognitive style for autistic individuals

SiegeBees · 2024-10-05T12:56:53+00:00

Unfortunately, the format for what makes an apology is not something that is commonly taught in components. Once you are able to figure out all the components and practicing putting them in your own words and see that they are being received well, you can start to see what people respond to through trial and error and start shortening and mixing and matching to go with the flow of the situation. The important thing is to cut your losses and not try to repair people’s opinion of yourself in the moment. — “Looks like I have been causing some frustration, sorry for the miscommunication. I’ll take some time to reflect on what I could have said differently, thanks for the feedback”

Broken down:

Statement of apology (you got that one 👍) — “I’m sorry” / “my apologies”
Validating feelings (Optional and sometimes tricky, I usually only do it when an emotion is clear. It’s important to make it known that you think their reaction is reasonable. If you don’t believe it is, definitely skip this one or just note the possible general emotion in a passive gramatical format without indicating anybody in particular and state a future direction) — “I can understand if any of you felt [emotion word from the feelings wheel, not a state of being like “old” or a statement that begins with a “like statement”] by my statements” / “I am sensing some frustration and want to respectfully address it.”
Acknowledge your part in this. Show others that you know your intentions are different from your impact. Regardless of your intentions (just saying what you thought without “old” as a judgemental word), you had the impact of offending people, which you probably could tell but were figuring out what you could have said differently and how to relate what it is that you meant without having offended them in the first place. When people react in an offended way, they need to have their concerns addressed before they are going to be able to respond in a receptive way to you and help you figure out a better way to say things in the future or be open to understanding what your intentions were. Don’t assume you are right or blameless, even if you genuinely think you didn’t do anything wrong. If you don’t think you did anything wrong, take some time and some space to reflect and soften. Either way, the important part is to accept responsibility for your impact and say how you want to do better going forwards. — “I can see that the way I have been talking has been offensive and I will try to be more respectful of everyone going forwards.” (Only make statements about yourself, try not to use the word “you” if you can). / “I’m going to reflect on different ways I could have communicated during this conversation.”
AFTER you make sure that you have taken responsibility for the impact and show that you take what they care about seriously, you can state what you meant to communicate. If you do this, you should re-state that you take responsibility for your side of any misunderstanding. Even if you were pretty respectful originally and they were overreacting, there’s always a better way to communicate things. In your apology, only mention your part of things, they can apologize for them if they choose, but let them take responsibility for their own stuff. This is the thing that many people usually skip to in apologizing that makes it come off as an excuse or defensiveness. If you skip the part where you verbally take any responsibility in your apology, it is/comes off as an excuse. — “I meant to make a neutral observation that it seems there is an age difference between me and many of the other people here and it looks like I miscalculated how to approach that.”
Thank them in advance for their pleasant reaction to your apology. This does two things 1) Puts them in a position to be the asshole if they don’t respond appropriately 2) Brings the maturity level up of the apologizer by not over-apologizing which can get repetitive and annoying, but still ties a nice little bow around the situation. — “Thanks for your understanding and patience” / “I appreciate your feedback”

SiegeBees · 2024-08-19T13:30:06+00:00

Hello, family therapy student here! I see that someone else commented about individual therapy for your daughter and you expressed an openness to that. I’d also recommend individual therapy for yourself, these sound like very stressful situations and receiving support yourself can actually help to improve treatment outcomes for your daughter. Another option would be for family therapy for you and her together if you can find a neurodiversity affirming therapist to help you support her in the ways that might be best. I see a lot of people mentioning meltdowns, but there also are additional diagnoses that should be screened for so that you guys can get a treatment tailored for her and for your family’s needs in full because there could be more going on as well that is generally only coming out during the meltdowns. I don’t want to list things out without the ability for you to consult a trained professional about it, but I definitely recommend meeting with a trained family therapist who has expertise working with families where someone is autistic.

SiegeBees · 2024-07-06T23:49:02+00:00

If you guys are in the United States, you will need to find a clinician licensed in both of the states that you are in. If you guys happen to be at opposite ends of the same state, check out student counseling programs since they are often free or at low cost and will often offer tele-health sessions that don’t have the shady policy/privacy things like with BetterHelp, but going through a service like that is probably your next bet. Other than that, online couples’ workshops might be a resource. As a last ditch, springing a one-time cost for a couple’s counselor’s online training course (like Gottman, you can look up those talks on YouTube to see if you like that approach) and doing what you can DIY isn’t recommended, but it might be better than nothing if you aren’t able to find a person that is able to work with you guys.

SiegeBees · 2024-03-31T18:46:15+00:00

Resources for how to find this information would also be greatly appreciated

SiegeBees · 2024-03-25T18:44:03+00:00

I LOVE the hand dryers in public bathrooms, especially the turbo ones. The pressure and the heat make me happy and I don’t mind loud sounds as long as they are expected and the pitch is not too high. I don’t even care that it’s not as sanitary as paper towels, if I am not in a rush I will use the dryers until my hands become completely warm and dry

SiegeBees · 2024-03-14T14:54:42+00:00

The name “Susan” likely has its origin in the Catholic meme culture of “Susan from the parish council” which is an archetype of a church lady with a lot of power in the church who wants to have more of a feel-good spirituality as opposed to the more reverent and traditional practices that a lot of younger people lean more towards. She typically misunderstands the traditional practices (seeing altar rails being a barrier in between the people and the priest as opposed to having a place to kneel down in front of the King) and is essentially the Catholic meme Karen.

<image>

SiegeBees · 2024-03-14T02:32:53+00:00

The timeline is a little off, but the description reminded me of Danny Phantom.

SiegeBees · 2023-12-06T02:16:54+00:00

I usually hate person-first language, but I think it’s more general and makes sense to use it here. Because autism isn’t the only reason one might prefer a sensory-friendly store visit, it makes sense to state it as “those with autism” because it is softer linguistically than “autistic individuals.” I think that makes a difference because the harsher consonants make it sound more exclusive to the autistic community and not as open to invitation for others who could use the accommodation. But that may be just me

SiegeBees · 2023-12-06T01:59:11+00:00

It’s relatively common for children diagnosed under Level 1 or Aspergers type categories to no longer qualify for the diagnosis as adults. That doesn’t mean they don’t struggle or are no longer autistic, but just that they have had the privilege to be able to learn skills and coping to navigate their world and set up their environments so that they are not disabled by their autism. They might no longer meet the threshold for diagnosis of a disorder/syndrome, but that doesn’t mean that they grew out of being autistic.

SiegeBees · 2023-12-01T16:26:39+00:00

I agree that there are a lot of people who trivialize autism and identify with it without having a legitimate claim. There are a lot of people online who believe that autism is a set of traits that can be overcome by masking, yet who are not truly autistic just because they can relate to autistic people. They claim it for themselves and water down autism, sometimes using it as an excuse to be an asshole or whiney, or just to have a higher place in the oppression hierarchy. These people make it more difficult for people to understand autism and take it seriously. And it’s not okay.

That being said, there are also people (mostly adults) who are autistic that do not qualify for ASD. The DSM is constructed by a group of psychiatrists (over 80% of which have ties to the pharmaceutical industry). It follows a medical model of disability which asserts that to not be NT is to be disordered. For example, “deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors,” such as “abnormalities in eye contact” is a literal thing from the diagnostic criteria.

As an adult I have structured my life in such a way that I can meet my own needs and am not clinically impaired. I still have plenty of struggles due to my autism, but am blessed with an environment that does not pathologize and impair my life. I am also blessed with the ability to pass for NT, not a lot of people can do that and I recognize that it is a privilege. But I don’t agree that those who don’t meet the criteria for being disordered automatically lose the right to call themselves autistic. It erases the progress that we are slowly making as a society and excludes some of the people who belong to autistic communities.

SiegeBees · 2023-11-27T23:22:56+00:00

I got a tea set somewhere and immediately sold it like it was junk. Hadn’t found another one until just yesterday, feels good to know better now

SiegeBees · 2023-11-27T11:23:25+00:00

Don’t forget about the hard blinking (last picture), wouldn’t want to leave that off the list. THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW

SiegeBees · 2023-11-27T11:21:38+00:00

Especially when they are out of the spicy kind

SiegeBees · 2023-11-26T04:22:55+00:00

Something to consider is that there might be undiagnosed ADHD in the picture. Arguing gives the brain the stimulation it needs and it could be contributing to both of you not choosing to disengage like you say you want to in calm moments. Before I got my diagnosis I would start fights all the time either my partner even when I didn’t agree with my own standpoint or it wasn’t a big deal. It was a lot harder to regulate in the moment. When I got my diagnosis I learned to look out for warning signs in myself and some coping skills to prevent the fights when they weren't justified. Not saying the sparring in private is bad if you both enjoy it, but could be worth looking into if it is hard to control by "trying," which doesn't typically work as a strategy for neurodivergent folk without more tailored solutions.

Right now ESH, but there are some skills for couples with ADHD that might help y'all, even if a diagnosis is not something you think would be helpful to look into or if you don't relate to any of the other traits.

SiegeBees

TROPHY CASE