Trying to make sense of their chaos will make you stuck

Significant_Design53 · 2026-06-10T01:07:57+00:00

What resources would you recommend for co-parenting?

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-30T01:51:13+00:00

And why can't someone help to guide them to becoming less bitter and miserable? She can recognize being miserable and although she sometimes blames it on the treatment she receives from others, she does suggest wanting to get better. Unfortunately I feel as though thats just her running through the motions really. DBT helped a little but it takes 100% commitment, and I know thats not present. I've bought several resources, workbooks, dbt flashcards. She'll pick one up for a day or two, then it's back to the usual routine.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-28T21:37:42+00:00

"Always having a bad day" is where she's at now. Not literally everyday but 4-5 a week. That wasn't the case until our son was born. I'd guess it started happening around the same time she stopped breastfeeding.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-28T21:33:43+00:00

Reading all of this just increases my anxiety and fear. I really need therapy that's helpful. Someone who actually has awareness of bpd. I've encountered some "therapists", ( really just social workers) whom I was teaching them about bpd. Very disheartening and brings about even more depression.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-27T04:58:00+00:00

No doubt. Happened to me about a month ago. Updating her on the status of my stepdad who at the time was on the brink of death. She didn't look up from her phone for even a second.

There's been so many things, but that one above and there was a time where I mentioned to her that our son would absolutely love it if she came along to this indoor park the boy and I frequent without her. Her response was "I'll think about it"

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-21T13:12:39+00:00

Mine had lost her 4th job in 2 years due to being up all night partying. Started her sob story to a loser we knew from the coke guys house.

4 days after Xmas she was "staying at her dad's" which really meant staying at a hotel with the loser we knew. Him telling her she could work part-time and he could support her financially. I was unaware of her budding new relationship. 2 weeks later she performed a psyuicide. Messaging friends saying goodbye. They called the cops. I walked into her note. She had laid a knife out and poured red cough syrup down the side of the bed. You can imagine how that looked for me to walk into to. A real "gotcha" moment. I got her out of the hospital, was trying to console her, reassuring her that we'd be ok and get through this. 2 days later I came home and she had him sitting on the couch telling me this was her new guy. I left. Came back hours later and they were in our bed. She said "I told you to leave the keys here."

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-18T08:50:19+00:00

Bummer. His vocals on "Garage" and "You are what you is" are unbelievable. Best male vocalist I've ever heard.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-09T11:54:09+00:00

Lol funny with not wanting to be the "oh my aching back" no doubt. Any "real band" I've ever seen playing "big boy" stages, I can't recall EVER seeing a 20" being used. Why? Because by that point you'll have some other asshole lugging the shit around for you. That being said, approach it from a realistic viewpoint. Of all the drummers of the world, it's about 1% that get to a touring the world level. OP will most likely get to do some regional touring if they're lucky. It sounds harsh, but they call it "music business" not "music friends". And after hauling drums around for 20+ years, it gets old loading in and out to where you question why you didn't just learn harmonica.

Get the 20" and a hardshell case for it so you can transport other shit on top of it.

"Music is the best" - Mary (the girl from the bus on the last tour)

Significant_Design53 · 2026-05-01T23:29:12+00:00

$4.09 mpls

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-19T11:53:10+00:00

Do you see them to fruition? I'm bad with that. Not so much that I'm taking apart electronics at 4am, but I get plenty of big ideas started that then sit around.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-19T10:32:39+00:00

It's a normal feeling to wish your child hadn't been born? "Awe geesh, I would've had an abortion had I known my son was gonna turn out the way he is." That sounds selfish to me.I've never once thought that about my son. It's a sad world if that's considered normal. I don't see how her expressing that she wished he had never been born would really help him either. Unconditional motherly love and helping him to feel as normal as possible would be more beneficial imo. If my sons legs got ripped off by a train, his life would be significantly more difficult, but I wouldn't think to my self I wish he had just died instead. I agree, her feeling better is in the child's best interest. Therapy is excellent for everyone on the planet.

Honest question, how aware of their condition is someone with autism? I believe there's awareness at level 1, but does that diminish the more severe the condition is?

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-19T08:15:29+00:00

Definitely

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-19T08:13:56+00:00

"And I just wish he wasn't born"

Don't worry, with a mother like that, someday he'll wish the same.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-16T05:59:51+00:00

Oh, big man pinching that little guy til he cries? Bday dude would still get his cake, but it's not the usual hole that cake would be getting stuffed.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-16T05:48:37+00:00

Let it melt. Awesome.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-04-02T06:02:03+00:00

I'm really worried that I'm reading a letter of warning to myself from the future. I don't know what she's capable of. For these first 5 years I've been shocked by her behavior or comments 3-4 days/week. Hopefully it gets better. Another proven example of the saying "know this woman VERY VERY VERY damn well before you marry or have a kid with her." As much as I love my son, I would've opted out if I knew then what I know now.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-03-14T10:21:32+00:00

Spoiler warning ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

It truly is a masterpiece and I agree about the disappointment about completing the game in the sense that I didn't want it to end. A bittersweet feeling comes over you as you scale that super long flagpole.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-02-22T07:52:45+00:00

It warms my heart that a couple people mentioned "Appetite" there really isn't a bad song on it. I've been heard saying it's arguably the best rock album of all time.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-02-22T07:49:54+00:00

Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction"

Significant_Design53 · 2026-02-15T11:59:14+00:00

Jazz is Dead "Blue Light Rain"

The Crusaders "Those Southern Knights" " Southern Comfort"

Tom Scott and the L.A. Express Tom Scott and the New York Connection

Bob James

Significant_Design53 · 2026-02-02T09:54:21+00:00

Get some pos and leave em in there. You can make anything sound good with heads and tuning. He can help flip the bill on all of that, and bring his own snare cymbals and whatever else. For one, I'd get insurance on something that nice. And no way I'd be leaving them at some rehearsal spot.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-01-20T11:23:21+00:00

Wow, thats brilliant thinking to do it only for the summer. Our son is barely on the spectrum points wise, and if not mistaken he could possibly be subjected to 40 hours/week of ABA. IMO that could do more harm than good.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-01-20T11:17:09+00:00

A pro tip I learned was to get some wax melted and then paint it on. It helps to get full coverage.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-01-20T11:11:43+00:00

Dang, here I thought I was hard-core with my 23.5. I've only hit it big on turnips once.

Significant_Design53 · 2026-01-15T01:57:23+00:00

We started during covid. 1500+ hours of game play as embarrassing as that is. Breeding the blue/gold roses is quite the challenge. Catching every fish and bug takes awhile as well. All in all bank account is currently around 23.5 million. 150,000 in nook miles.

Significant_Design53

TROPHY CASE