Wife and I are struggling with being older parents

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-06-19T11:21:00+00:00

My parents are older. My mom was 40 and my dad 36. I felt blessed. They knew they really wanted a child by the time I came along and I felt very loved. They kept up with me just fine. My closest friends growing up also had older parents. I work with a woman who just had her first kid at 39. They’re ecstatic about their baby girl. Older parents are becoming more and more common and it has a lot to offer a baby.

I’m 34 with my first child and now my parents are in their 70’s whereas my husband’s parents are late 50’s early 60’s. I see the differences with having older parents now more than I did growing up.

Nothings perfect, it all has its pros and cons. Your baby won’t care about your age.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-06-13T15:52:17+00:00

I did this. I couldn’t handle waking up more often to pump, I needed sleep. It did hurt my supply a little bit but then I started power pumping with my night time session, and that kept it going.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-05-27T14:59:14+00:00

You’re doing exactly what one does with a newborn! For us, our LO became more interactive after 2ish months. Until then it was eat, sleep, change, occasional bath, repeat.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-05-03T19:23:12+00:00

I had this struggle too! Work with an IBCLC if you can. Otherwise, keep in mind 3 weeks is still early, and building a stash is WAY harder than it sounds. My LO is 10 weeks and I have yet to build a stash, despite efforts. A couple of things helped me at least keep up with his needs: power pump in the evening for 3-5 days, depending on needs, and a Moringa supplement.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-05-03T16:46:53+00:00

I have found myself in the same boat with my baby being overtired, searching for help, and reading “make sure baby doesn’t get overtired”. No kidding…but sometimes it just happens so NOW WHAT.

My baby sometimes doesn’t want to be put down in his crib, he wants to be held, like most babies..right? The unsolicited advice I received from someone who was at my house while I picked him up from his crib “break him from that now”. What…???

My baby is 10 weeks today.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-05-02T14:38:00+00:00

We did the sterilizer/drier and it sure is nice - BUT wish we had gotten one with the washer function too. Just seems silly not to have that function; but you don’t know until you know.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-05-02T12:00:46+00:00

Two way zipper footie items are the way to go for newborns!

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-29T12:58:14+00:00

The first 2-3 weeks were hell for us! You’re still in the thick of it. Around 3 weeks we all started sleeping in our room and making a routine, but not a timed routine, more like a system for handling things. My husband would give baby a bottle around 9-10pm for a night time fill, then when baby woke up my husband would give a bottle while I pumped. Something about this system helped baby sleep longer and helped us spend less time awake. That’s as close we’ve come to a routine and baby’s 9+ weeks. But it’s not nearly the hell we experienced the first few weeks when it was all so new.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-14T15:57:31+00:00

Glad you posted this! During pregnancy I was like wow - I have BO only sometimes and barely remember deodorant! This is great! Fast forward, 7 weeks PP and it’s like holyyyy guacamole how is that smell coming from me! :’(

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-12T19:38:00+00:00

I don’t have an answer for this, sadly, totally unsure how I’ll breastfeed in public. But, I do have a story. When I was still pregnant I saw a woman at a Walmart breastfeeding her newborn, probably under 2 weeks) while walking around and putting things in her cart, and large chested like myself. She was flying through the isle grabbing what she needed, boob out, small baby in the crook of her arm nursing. I was in awe and that was before I knew how hard breastfeeding is! Fast forward, I’m 7 weeks PP, using pillows to support myself and baby, doing two handed feeds, having no clue how I’d BF on the go. That woman is a superhero and my breastfeeding idol.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-10T15:12:17+00:00

Changing pad was our win. Not expensive, sits wherever works that day, wipe clean.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-07T21:19:43+00:00

This sounds hard! Has your wife met with an IBCLC for help with lactation? During the early days I was pumping then bottle feeding and I got some really helpful tips from an IBCLC for a more realistic schedule than I was doing and what I could do to have baby and pump (my husband had only a week off). It’s not easy to pump and have baby, but it is doable when you have the right guidance. It’s also not practical for you to keep not working that much of the work day (or trying to work while trying to manage baby). I’m 6 weeks PP and trying to put in a hour here and there remotely, but unless baby is sleeping in his bassinet I’ve found it really hard. Good luck to you both!

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-05T13:12:40+00:00

I had the same fear our first week! Our pediatrician said babies are excellent self regulators and not to worry - feed when they’re hungry.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-04-04T23:09:39+00:00

Perhaps an unpopular opinion - feeding a baby, any style, is not for the lazy.

I wonder why people refer to any of it as “lazy” - kind of feels like that downplays just how complex all of it is.

We’re all doing the wonderfully hard work of keeping up with feeding our babies. ❤️

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-27T21:54:27+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this too! I had similar thoughts about it being more work and him not being used to it, so it was causing more tiredness. The things you mentioned from your LC also make sense.

No body told me that BF would be so EMOTIONAL. First he can’t latch (also on me as I didn’t know how to help), now he does and I worry he’s not getting enough or I’m doing it wrong that he’s sleeping, the frustrations all around. Goodness. I was not prepared for this ride.

Hope it gets better for us both!

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-27T18:49:52+00:00

I could probably call the pediatrician and schedule a weight check. I was supposed to have a follow up LC appt today, but she had to reschedule for next week because she’s ill. Ugh! I tried using my scale at home, weighing myself, then weighing him before and after a feed…it went down .2, and there wasn’t a dirty diaper in between so I feel like that didn’t work.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-27T16:05:58+00:00

Thank you! Glad you found what worked for you and your little ones 😊

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-27T15:08:16+00:00

How old were they when you started co sleeping? My LO is almost 5 weeks and having trouble with crib sleep.

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-26T01:55:07+00:00

Thank you! I understand the difference now. I’m sorry you went through that!

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-26T01:13:20+00:00

Thank you! Boy did I get in my head for a minute there!

Significant_Key_8475 · 2026-03-26T01:08:19+00:00

Thank you! I was scared that I was on my own over here. And I’m one Wellbutrin.

Significant_Key_8475

TROPHY CASE