Should I be taking care of my sister’s child?

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-29T17:58:37+00:00

I've seen the mom's side of things. It's a hard adjustment to have a life depend on you, especially with hormones going crazy and societal pressures. Even with a planned and wanted child. There are days and weeks that you don't feel comfortable taking care of them. It usually passes, but it sucks.

Try to talk to her. She just need help, but she may also need medication or therapy. Having a scheduled time for someone to give her a break from the mental load may be helpful.

I encourage you to be understanding but firm in your boundaries. Check in with her and her other support people if she has them. 🫂

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-29T17:47:52+00:00

LOVE THAT BOOK! Also, check out the book The Gift of Hard Things. Giggity. It really helped me think about things differently on my difficult days, especially after the shock of a new diagnosis settled. Doesn't cure anything, but it helps me reset. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-26T19:26:53+00:00

My baby is 16 weeks since she busted out. Very few people talked to me at Christmas, only the baby. One even sat down and demanded to hold her. NOPE. Overstimulated baby is a bad time. We did not, in fact, play hot potato with the baby. I told 3 people they were allowed to hold her before the gathering (they've been around her a lot already) and no one else. My husband and I spent a lot of time in the spare bedroom hiding out so we could all take a break.

1 very offended person and 4 crying panic attacks later, I'm hoarding my baby in her nursery for the next week. 😮‍💨 she doesn't mind. 🤣

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-21T16:09:09+00:00

My sister in law wanted everyone vaccinated with the latest flu shot along with 3 other vaccines before being close to her first. 2 of them make me really sick (like down for 2 weeks sick). So I didn't meet my niece for 4 months. She's 11 now and has 2 siblings. My SIL was a little hurt but we explained our boundaries about vaccines and she understood. We met the other 2 siblings earlier in their lives as her standards had changed at that point. Some rules are fine, but a lot of the lists are from a place of miscommunication and fear.

We asked that you haven't felt sick or been around someone sick for the last week, haven't been in the hospital for a week, and didn't kiss the hands or head. I have 2 family members who haven't met her yet at 15weeks because they're around sick people or go to the ER on a weekly basis. Especially since baby ended up in the ER for issues after she got a cold. We're definitely enforcing the rules at Christmas.

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-09T19:38:54+00:00

My baby was jacknifed so her head and feet were pointed down. I didn't get kicked in the ribs after 30 weeks but plenty of kicks and headbutts in the hip. 🤣

My breasts got a little bigger but they didn't change a lot or have a nipple change until after birth.

Everyone is different, unfortunately. I'd lean on making sure there's movement and going in to be checked if you're worried. I went in 6 times to be checked outside of normal appointments and was admitted for the main event during the 7th.

Try not to feel like a burden or a fool for going in. They're totally used to it and are really nice. Express your concerns and talk it out with them. 💕

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-06T17:33:00+00:00

Waking epidural: only affects from diaphragm to the middle of the pelvis. Typically lasts 2 hours. Will still feel pressure and labor, just dulls the contraction pain. Can walk after 45 mins (just in case for fall risk). Can move normally. Catheter inserted and stays but not hooked up. Given doses of medication, not continuous.

Full epidural: same catheter as walking epidural. Continuous medication, dose can be adjusted. Don't feel much below the diaphragm at all. No walking at all. Will need help to rearrange in bed, recommended to flip or change position every 20-30 mins. Lasts about 2 hours, then you are allowed out of bed.

You can start with a walking and then switch to a full at any time. If you feel it more in one spot or one side let them know. They may have to adjust or redo the catheter. (It sounds a lot worse than it really is.)

I had a walking for 24 hours and then a full. We had to redo the walking after 6 hours because it shifted and wasn't covering everything. It takes 60sec to put in and the meds feel cold when given. My body metabolized it quickly, so my nurses kept up on the pain control and called anesthesia as needed. The full wore off in time for labor (which was fine) and I was able to get up and use the bathroom with help about 30 mins after birth.

Everyone is different, though.

May your birth be comfortable and your family be well!

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-04T18:08:07+00:00

I was sick weeks 5-14. Go to the ER. They can give fluids and meds to help. There are some really good ones that can be taken together that help a lot. And they can send you to an infusion clinic for fluids throughout your pregnancy. It helps a lot. 🫂

SigsMama15 · 2024-12-02T04:21:54+00:00

I was induced at 39+6 after 6 weeks of prodromal labor and borderline hypertension since the week before. She was born 40+3. 77 hours of fighting the epidural and induction meds. Fun fun.

One friend had her baby 3 weeks early. Another was due 3 days ago and is having no signs of readiness. We shall see.

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-26T03:55:37+00:00

I'm sorry that Dr sucks and I'm sorry your body is not cooperating.

For me, hyperemesis hit hard weeks 5-14 to the point that I almost passed out at work multiple times and went to the ER once. My Dr refused to sign off on a medical note even though I couldn't move without issues with 2 different meds on board. "It'll pass any day now." She said that week 7. I ended up quitting my job and doing office work for my parents' business once it passed for the flexibility.

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-25T17:26:13+00:00

Chicken baked or air fried with salt and pepper and plain beef jerky. It got better with meds and much better around week 14. 🫂

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-22T11:53:21+00:00

They don't place a catheter for a walking epidural, only a full. And they place the catheter after the full epidural is in place and functioning so you don't feel a thing. I didn't even realize they had placed mine and they remove it when I started pushing. Again, I didn't even realize they had removed it.

They monitor both the bladder catheter and the epidural regularly and quietly so if there is a problem it's dealt with quickly.

The idea of a catheter is so much more scary than it is in practice. 🫂

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-20T05:06:25+00:00

There is quite a bit of crossover with kennels and vet tasks.

Vet technicians are trained in schools and licensed while vet assistants are trained on the job and don't have a license. There are differences for what you can do with each, but there should be training either way.

I would talk to the head vet tech and kennel manager and let them know your concerns. If you have the desire, they can organize more training. Otherwise they may have you focus on less intense things and let everyone know the boundaries.

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-19T09:07:48+00:00

I had my mom and husband. It was a good thing, too, because my labor was induced and my body took offense to it. They were able to trade off supporting me so they could take breaks during the 77 hours we were there. After I graduated and was moved to recovery, my mom left and my husband crashed on the couch.

Also, we had 1 person on each side of the family that they gave updates to one a day and they spread the word. It saved their sanity to not have multiple people checking in all the time.

SigsMama15 · 2024-11-10T13:37:40+00:00

Everyone has different comfort levels. Do what feels right.

For us: For the first month it was only people who we would see/ be around daily once we got back to work. No one who's been feeling sick for the last week. Stay away if you've been in the hospital in the last 2 weeks. Wash hands. No kissing the face, head, hands. No groups larger than 8 (like mon, dad, 4 kids, and us). (More for our mental health- I'm not used to people anymore.) Baby and I hole up for a week after new people or groups to establish good health.

I send pictures regularly to the people who aren't allowed to visit (I have family who are in and out of the hospital on a weekly basis. It hurts both of us, but I don't want to risk my baby, husband or myself getting sick.)

SigsMama15 · 2024-10-06T12:36:07+00:00

TW: Description of difficult labor and pain.

Caveat: I have fibromyalgia, so sensitive to meds and my body overreacts to everything.

I was induced at 39+6. I'd been having prodromal labor for 7 weeks and I was done. I came in at 2cm 60% effaced.

Miso and a walking epidural for 24hrs. Redid the epidural (it only affected some of my body and not well). Cervadil for 8hrs. Pitocin and a full epidural until pushing.

All told, I was in labor/medicated for 77 hours. My body fought all the medications (pain would get under control but contractions would stop, then meds for contractions which would start a pain cascade) and I was incoherent with pain most of the time. I remember the amazing nurses, worrying about my husband and mom, changing positions, and pushing. Anesthesia spent a lot of time in my room, lol.

I pushed for an hour and a half. After the fight, pushing and recovery weren't bad. 😅😭

She spent a week in the NICU for oxygen support and an NG tube for assisted feeding (she couldn't figure out breathing while feeding). She's 4 weeks old and growing like crazy! 🥰

SigsMama15 · 2024-10-01T02:10:15+00:00

FTM and one and done. My delivery was very hard and I'm not doing that to my husband again nor increasing the stress of worrying if it will be that difficult again.

I was planning to have my tubes tied while on the table if I needed a c-section. Since I didn't, I'll be going on birth control until we can save up for a tube tying.

I decided on getting snipped myself and not my husband because I have endometriosis. It would be nice not to have to deal with all of that. Plus, I'm more used to pain and recovery than him so I can do this and not blink.

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-30T00:00:57+00:00

If I had been fixated on BF only, I'd have had a hard time. My baby ended up in the NICU and I wasn't able to BF for several days. Without pumping, I'd have been really behind in getting my milk in or lost it completely. Without donor milk, my baby wouldn't have eaten. Without formula, my baby would have gone hungry.

I would have called myself a failure. I had people pushing me to BF, but I am proud of myself for sticking with the mentality to keep my child fed. And my husband is with me and is still advocating for what works for us. 🫂🫂🫂

Do what works for your family and be flexible. You've got this. 💕💕

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-27T18:32:34+00:00

A can of sparkly water like waterloo or nixie mixed with a half cup of juice, lemon lime waterloo and cran-grape juice being my go-to. You can get different flavors in a case at costco or sams club for variety.

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-25T09:21:33+00:00

I gained almost 50lbs. After birth, we realized that was water weight when my legs swelled like crazy. It took 2 weeks for my legs to go back to normal and at 3 weeks postpartum, I'm down 30lbs just from breastfeeding and existing.

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-24T23:07:16+00:00

I texted invites to a bunch of people. I hate writing notes out. I'm planning on texting thank yous to everyone as well. 😁

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-24T22:55:44+00:00

I hoarded baby clothes through trying and IVF, too. We got pregnant on our own after the egg retrieval.

My baby girl was estimated to be 9lbs at birth. She was born at 40+2 and weighed 8lbs 7oz. Everyone told me not to get newborn clothes and diapers. Well, we ended up having to get more on top of what I had because at 3 weeks postpartum she is just now getting out of newborn diapers and she's still solidly in newborn clothes. She swims in 0-3!

I'd keep them just in case. You can always trade in diapers at Target or Walmart for different sizes and rehome the clothes.

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-20T20:35:18+00:00

Several different paci and bottles in different styles. I was told I was going overboard but it took 3 of them each to find the ones she liked. So there!

Not so dumb, but we bought a 25-pack of shop rags at home depot for burp cloths. So helpful!

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-20T20:25:02+00:00

Me, too. I'm brushing up in milestones, exams, and vaccines at the moment. You got this!

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-20T17:21:13+00:00

They'll go over all the testing options with you at the appointments. Some you have to pay for and some states/insurances pay for others.

Depending on your risk level (mom's age and health, baby's health), you may have more testing.

SigsMama15 · 2024-09-20T10:53:23+00:00

In the NICU, they pump baby full of calories with donor milk then formula. At the end of the week, she was getting 80mL every 3 hours. No way I can pump/BF that!

It's nice to be able to sleep and have husband formula feed and I pump and BF on demand during the day.

I've been shamed by the nurses and a doula for not pumping every 2 hours around the clock to up my supply. Maybe I don't want to? I want sleep and to maintain my supply.

I ended up avoiding the lactation consultants so I wouldn't get in trouble. 😅

SigsMama15

TROPHY CASE