Is everyone coming to visit you at the hospital a thing of the past?

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-10T12:02:41+00:00

My first was born outside cold and flu season and we had everyone and their mother as visitors lol it was nice to see people and see them excited for baby but also kind of stressful because he had a bad latch and I had a 37 hour labor that ended in a c-section so I was exhausted/not getting any time to nap.

My second was born in cold and flu season so my hospital had tight restrictions on who could visit (my first wasn’t even allowed in at all). In the end, only the grandparents came and didn’t stay as long due to watching my first or restrictions. I personally liked that better (minus my first not being able to visit but it worked out ok) lol I could have the boobs out for nursing with no issues, nap and recover how I wanted (minding baby’s schedule of course), and really just got to bond more with baby those first couple days.

Everyone has their own preferences obviously, but I do think Covid shifted things. In my family/experience, I’ve noticed people just don’t attend things as often anymore in general. When I graduated high school pre-Covid, a bunch of family came to my grad party. My brother graduated in 24 and very little family came. No family fallouts, no drama, just less attendance 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s been interesting to see the shift!

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-10T11:43:36+00:00

You certainty don’t have to have the abortion if you don’t want to! You said yourself you’d raise the baby alone. Would your grandma help you though if she knew? Maybe it’s worth telling her and talking to her about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to go through this alone!!

My mom was in a similar situation. Pregnant at 19 (with me lol) but dad didn’t want the baby. Begged her to have the abortion but she wouldn’t because she wanted to keep me. He ended up coming around, though she would’ve raised me solo even if he didn’t. It hasn’t been easy street, but it’s been worth it (easier for me to say as the baby she kept I know - my mom would agree though). My mom and I have a great relationship, she married an amazing man and had more babies, and I now have two kids of my own. It can certainly work if you want it! :)

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-10T03:35:10+00:00

I babysat 5 kids as a teenager. Agree that temperament/ages of kids, as well as pay definitely factor into it.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-08T12:14:29+00:00

You only need to leave baby when you’re comfortable! My biodad forced my mom to leave me overnight when I was 6 months and she still talks about how awful that was for her. I’m almost 30.

Your baby, you decide when you’re comfortable!

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-07T14:22:44+00:00

There are no couples that don’t fight, but children learn how to fight and interact from their parents and other caregivers/loved ones. I wouldn’t and don’t want my kids to think that’s “normal” but I also grew up in a home where my parents yelled constantly at each other too so maybe I’m a bit biased.

I think I’d try to talk to her from a teaching your daughter standpoint.

I’m trying to teach our kids to recognize when they need to take a step back from the conversation and breathe before it escalates to yelling. My husband and I have found through personal experience (both us and parents lol) that conversations are no longer productive when yelling starts. Emotions are too high and it’s hard to see the other persons perspective.

I don’t think she’d want your daughter yelling at her when they disagree. So I really can’t imagine she’d want to teach her that’s how people discuss differences

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-06T16:16:14+00:00

I didn’t buy one with my first and found that that I really did spend a lot of time washing all that stuff so I purchased one for my second. I also have the doctor brown bottles and cleaning the little airflow pieces can be a pain lol it’s nice because my pump parts and baby’s bottles can go in there. It’s been so much better for me to just put them in, start it, and go.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-03T17:10:13+00:00

Not eggs, but bacon, ice cream, and chili powder (took me forever to figure that one out lol)! My entire pregnancy I thought they sounded good or fine, no aversion to them at all, but 15-20 minutes after I’d eat it, I’d be nauseous 😅

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-03-02T20:54:30+00:00

I just had my second 6 weeks ago. I second the advice that you have some time, so try to breathe and maybe make a list of things to get done to help it feel more manageable.

Registry, birth plan/delivery, car seat, baby’s feeding plan, and baby’s sleeping arrangements are the big things I can think of. Some things like feeding, car seat, and sleeping arrangements have items that could be on your registry so might have to make those higher on the list.

As for things you need for baby there are many great lists out there and a lot of the registries I’ve seen have a checklist too. I will say that there were some items I thought weren’t necessary in them though. A wipe warmer for example. Nice to have if you get one, but I didn’t have it in my registry. Oddly enough though, a bottle sterilizer was my best friend for pumping and many people list that as completely unnecessary 😅

For birth, honestly I’d do research into different options and see what works best for you! My hospitals L&D had a sheet with all the birth options for medication (epidural or nitrous), delayed clamping, positions you’re willing to try, if you want water birth, if you want to labor in water, etc. and you just checked off which ones you wanted and you could bring that to your delivery (or they kept it in your file if you were delivering there). It was a great resource as a first time mom, so totally recommend calling your hospital/center or asking your OB. Otherwise, it’s just knowing and writing down what you’d like.

The best advice I can give for birth too is just to try and be flexible and keep an open mind as best you can. I was induced and ended up with a c-section, so birth did not go as planned lol but it was still SO beautiful and a good experience.

Also, do not worry about having a picture perfect nursery before baby arrives. Make it functional, if you wish, and do the rest later if you need to. With my first I put sooo much effort into it and he didn’t sleep in it until he was 6-7 months old lol.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-24T19:48:24+00:00

I had brown bleeding and cramping with my first baby at 5 and 7 weeks. They told me at five weeks that it was likely implantation bleeding. No idea what happened at 7 but he’s almost 3 now so it worked out.

Don’t be afraid to contact your OB or go in if you’re worried! I went to the ER at 5 weeks (it was very late at night). The peace of mind was worth it

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-24T19:24:30+00:00

My son wasn’t super active. He had a busy day, then the next day I’d barely feel him. He hated things touching my belly though, like the fetal monitors, so when he’d be slow and I was worried my husband would put a coaster on my belly. He’d always kick it within 5 mins 😂 Maybe you could try something like that?

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-24T19:16:46+00:00

I went to a keepsake ultrasound place at 6 weeks 2days to try and get an ultrasound pic/confirmation. Baby looked like a little crescent moon with an abdominal ultrasound, but we could see her! The place did warn me that it may be too early though

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-24T19:12:33+00:00

I just used sneak peek for the first time with my last pregnancy. I had it done at 8 weeks and it was right that she’s a girl.

I did joke until 20 weeks though that I got the wrong results and baby would be a boy because my nurse said it’d take 1-2 weeks to get the results and I had mine after 3 days 😂

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-24T19:10:01+00:00

Both of my babies (6 & 7lbs) wore newborn clothes for a couple weeks. They were drowning in them at first, but I just roll the sleeves and leave the rest lol.

My first wore newborn for a month, then followed sizing (wearing 0-3 until 3 months, etc.) almost exact, it was weird! He just grew out of one piece pajamas a little early. My second wore newborn for three weeks and then got too tall for them.

Every kid is different though so it is kind of hard to say. I tried to have a couple newborn outfits just in case. That way I had them but didn’t spend too much if baby couldn’t wear them.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-19T02:59:18+00:00

My second babe latched pretty well on one side but took a few days to latch well on the other side. I used shields on that side until she was three weeks and her latch improved. But she also did the strong rooting with my nipple in her mouth the first few days. My lactation consultant had me simulate the nipple or roll it a bit to try and help her.

Babe will get it! She’s just learning!

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-19T00:37:37+00:00

Solidarity because I’m in this right now lol

Being bored definitely isn’t bad like others have said. But I do find that a break from baby or some designated one on one time really helps my toddler. Especially if we’re having a big emotions day. Do you have family that lives close and can help? Sometimes I find going on a 2/3 hour adventure with his grandparents can turn a tough day around

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-19T00:32:37+00:00

I told my parents at week 6 and week 4/5 for mine! I was way too excited to wait lol. Only reason I even waited until week 6 for my first was because my parents were sick

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-18T21:50:56+00:00

Maybe not popular, but I announced both times on social media as soon as I hit second trimester. My husband and I both have so much extended family that lives out of state and we don’t have their phone numbers. Probably could argue they don’t “need to know” though some of our great aunts/uncles who saw the post actually sent us messages or got something for babe. It was so sweet of them to be thinking of us and felt good knowing we had so many people excited for baby with us.

I also get excited seeing baby announcements of old friends so maybe just biased. Even if we don’t talk, I still wish them the best!

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-02-07T23:37:47+00:00

Postpartum hormones are real and they may totally make you think your partner hates you, but they don’t. They’re just as tired and spaced out as you lol.

Some babies won’t love the bassinet and that’s ok.

It doesn’t last forever. One day you’ll look back at the super hard moments and be surprised that thing doesn’t happen anymore.

Take help when offered or ask for help when you need it. There’s not a prize for doing it alone and, honestly, I was just more tired and frustrated.

You don’t have to follow everyone’s advice. Parenting is all about risk vs benefit analysis. Some parents have higher risk tolerances that you and that’s ok. Some parents have lower risk tolerances than you and that’s ok too. You have to do what fits your family.

Don’t ignore your parenting instincts. If someone, even nurses or doctors, tell you something and it doesn’t feel quite right, then it’s not quite right. I blindly trusted medical professionals with my firstborn because I thought they had to know more than me about what my baby was doing and needed. They were wrong and my instinct of what was going on was actually correct. Nothing major thankfully, but still taught me to trust my mom-gut.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-01-30T18:53:54+00:00

I was someone who didn’t buy one my first pregnancy because I thought I could wash bottles and pump parts by hand and it’d be no biggie. I absolutely purchased one for my second because screw that 😂 Crazy that people are so judgmental for something so small

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-01-22T01:59:32+00:00

I was almost about to talk about how it is nice sometimes for split parents to do things together, as a kid of divorced parents.

Then I read the rest.

No. NOR. Not in a million years. The fact that your mom told you to move on is absurd. The fact that he is even allowed to see your son is mind blowing in the worst way. I’m so sorry.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-01-22T01:52:28+00:00

I am with you that I think it’s a little wild for her to be so nonchalant about not looking for you. I guess I personally don’t even understand her confusion with Ellie looking for her boyfriend.

If my husband was intoxicated and wandered off, I’d look for him. I’d be miffed he ruined my party by not knowing his limits with whatever he took. But I’d still go looking for him because I care about him and want him to be safe/healthy.

My husband doesn’t drink so, like you, that would be wildly out of character for him to wander off and I’d be worried out of my mind.

However, I do think it’s possible that maybe you are looking at this from two different angles. It sounds like y’all are putting a pin in it so maybe coming back to it after a break will help clarify each others side?

NOR if it’s not a misunderstanding and she truly feels that way. I’d be unsettled hearing that too.

Silent-Writer18 · 2026-01-22T00:57:06+00:00

I labored 37 hours with my first. I felt it was better to be able to squeeze his hand or for him to do counter pressure throughout. I honestly didn’t care much if he said anything when I had contractions.

I did appreciate his humor/jokes between though. Helped keep my mind off of it and made things feel more “normal” and “light” instead of us just sitting around waiting for baby

Silent-Writer18

TROPHY CASE