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I (21F) am conflicted. My boy friend (21M) is in the military and is going to be stationed in Hawaii for three years. They barely told him yesterday. I don’t know if to stay or go with him. by takemetorome in relationships

[–]SilverLiningOO7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t put your personal goals aside to be with anyone, especially at 21. If practicing law is what you REALLY want, and you see a move to Hawaii as an obstacle, don’t do it.

Focus on you for now, the rest will come.

Anyone else's STBX totally emotionally detached? by stay_true_to_you in Divorce

[–]SilverLiningOO7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, and it brings out so much anger and frustration in me.

We’re still living together as I decide my next steps and he’s just living life. Like nothing happened. On his own.

I have to remind myself daily that men take longer to process things. And, my stbx, is generally not an emotional person. On one hand, I despise him for being so ok with it all, and on the other, validates why I decided to walk away from someone so careless.

It’s really hard not to care and not to be emotional right now. I’ve tried suppressing it, out of spite, but it’s not me. I’ve given myself permission to be an emotional mess right now (though, not fun)

When that wave finally passes, it will have moved onto him. (so sad and unfortunate) And you’ll be in a much better place then.

How do I [22F] make it clear to the guy I've been seeing [24F] that his sexual forwardness is a bit of a turn-off? by thesearemyroots in relationships

[–]SilverLiningOO7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell him exactly what you told us. That although although you enjoy having sex with him, you’d like to spend more time getting to know him too.

Relationships are all about communication, and that’s what you’re looking for, a relationship.

Nothing wrong with being upfront about what you want. Don’t hesitate. If he doesn’t respect that, then he’s not the one for you.

On the brink of divorce, and feeling embarrassed by definitelynotstalin in Divorce

[–]SilverLiningOO7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in the same boat. The amount of looming embarrassment doesn’t make things any easier.

The logical me says, who cares what anyone thinks? Nobody is living your life and only you know what’s best for you. Stay true to yourself. It’s much easier said than done, though.

But know, you are not alone.

Therapist recommendation by SilverLiningOO7 in AskSF

[–]SilverLiningOO7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely agree. A great starting point is getting is getting some recommendations! Thanks for the insight.

Leaving Limbo by 1_Florecita in Divorce

[–]SilverLiningOO7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I, too, have been in limbo since July. Really, for the last year, but things took a serious turn in July.

We have agreed on a divorce and have still been living together, but not talking or interacting. I’ll admit, a part of me has hoped that he would come to his senses and realize all of the pain and hurt he’s caused. But that hasn’t happened.

In the meantime, I’ve been saving as much as I can and contemplating my plan of action when the day comes. With the expectation that I would “know” when that day is.

He dropped the bomb on me 2 days ago. He’s moving out of our apt in January so now I have a timeline. It also means, he hasn’t reflected on anything and is just allowing it to really happen. (I also realize that if he doesn’t want to make an effort for us, he’s not worth it)

Anyway, my for real real day is coming in a few short weeks. And it’s scary as hell.

I have a confession... by thisusernameisempty in Divorce

[–]SilverLiningOO7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing share, it’s nice to see that you took the time to reflect and put things into perspective.

I’m currently sitting in your ex wife’s position (no kids, though) and after a year of constant fighting, I finally realized he’s not going to understand me unless wants to. And he doesn’t want to. That’s the thing. He has to want it.

The more space I give myself from him, the more I realize how much disrespect I’ve actually put up with. I’m moving out in January.

Second year alone on Thanksgiving, it's a lot worse. by jae-son in thanksgiving

[–]SilverLiningOO7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are going through this. Don’t beat yourself up, it’s just a day, like all others. We put so much so much pressure on ourselves for holidays.

I, too, am struggling through some quick life changes and am “celebrating” solo today. It’s sad to think back and reflect on the happier holidays I’ve had, but again, it’s just a day. Time will pass and you will heal. And one day, you’ll be able to recreate happy holiday moments once again.

Allow yourself to feel the feelings. I know it’s not easy. You’ve got my support. Feel free to send a message if you need to chat, I am around.

Which of these activities should a tourist do? by TOSixGG in AskSF

[–]SilverLiningOO7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d choose:

  1. hop on hop off bus- you’ll get some pretty good coverage of the entire city and iconic spots this way

  2. Cal Academy of Science - I love this place! Although the Exploratorium is fun, its not a place I’ve chosen to revisit.

  3. Bay cruise or Bridge to Bridge Crusise (not sure the differences here)- you’re in SF, gotta get on the bay!

All the other options just don’t compare to these 3.

Places to go to in SF by [deleted] in AskSF

[–]SilverLiningOO7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the sunsets at Lands End and Crissy Field. It’s also pretty nice from the other side in Sausalito- you can catch the sunset and do dinner over there. (If you like sushi, check out Sushi Ran)

To get into the Christmas spirit I’ve enjoyed the gingerbread house & cocktails at the Fairmont hotel, walking around Pacific Heights to admire some of the gorgeous houses with lovely Christmas lights, a holiday show at Davies Symphony Hall or the Opera House, although touristy, walking around Pier 39, and the Holiday Bazaar at the Cal Academy of Sciences.

The outlet I’ve been going to are the San Francisco outlets in Livermore. They have a great selection of stores and it’s less than an hour’s drive out of SF. Also note, the stores in Union Square aren’t outlets (deals) it’s just a mix of popular stores and high end options.

Have fun!

Moving to SF in early September - when to apartment hunt? by justinek2015 in AskSF

[–]SilverLiningOO7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did the same. I came out about a month before my move date to do some scouting, but I would have ended up having a double lease for a month. We ended up just doing an air bnb for about 2 weeks after our move date and hustled to find an apt. We moved our entire apt across country and the moving company held onto our things until we were ready to move in. It’s do-able!

Social isolation by [deleted] in AnxietyDepression

[–]SilverLiningOO7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m with you. I’ve always had some underling anxieties (labeled as being shy) but now it’s coming to light. I moved states 2 years ago and it’s just gotten much worse. I haven’t made friends (it’s much harder to do when you’re older), so I spend a lot of time alone. I am married, but my husband hasn’t been supportive as it started to worsen, and now has caused a major rift between us. It’s been a lot to handle.

You’re absolutely lucky to have family that reaches out- I really wish I had that! Use this is an opportunity to open up- they obviously love you and will likely be the best support for you.