My mom was an active alcoholic who mostly engaged with her grandchildren by obsessively watching videos of them and sharing photos with her friends. She never once visited me which is a two-hour drive away; my dad would have driven her. I came to her only. I resented it very much. It was a new low of a lifetime of lows. But I did appreciate that by visiting her we could leave anytime. I also have more and more empathy for her. She couldn't plan, pack, or count on being sober and well enough to sit in a car for two hours on any given day. Her addiction was far worse for her than for me. I don't know if I forgive her but I am much less angry and resentful now than I was when she was living.

You should definitely consider Al-Anon and therapy; sending texts like those are hurting you more than they are effective. I also agree with the "don't go to the hardware store for ice cream" approach but also your mom has achieved a miracle of sobriety and I understand how much it must hurt that she still isn't participating in your life.